is it sexual? THE RESULTS

[Alison Michelle]

Your right, even my clone, the used car salesmen is not exactly like me or wait, am I the clone?

Being comfortable with your self seems to be a goal around here. I know I'm coming close with my self but I am not the same person as last week or the week before. No better or worse, just one more week of experiences to add in. I don't question why I dress now, way more than six, just happy to have the option.

Thank you for the results Tammy. I fit in to the % somewhere.

Gotta run, someone just walked on to the lot. Think I can unload this K car in the back tonight.:p

Hugs,

Alison

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Well Tammy you've run into the politics of CDing. Back in the 1960s it was assumed that CDing was a sexual fetish. Virginia Prince, founder of Tri-Ess, did a lot to bring respectibility to CDing, but one way she did it was to claim that "respectable" CDing had absolutely nothing to do with sex -- and those nasty fetishic TVs. Which is a bit disingenuous on Prince's part, given her own dates with men and the quantity of femme fiction she wrote and published via her Chevalier Publications.

Unfortunately, a number of CD organizations and writers still take the "no sex please, we're transgendered" line to this day and Helen Boyd's excellent "My Husband Betty" is one of the few books to lay the sexuality issue out on the table. Unfortunately, it's a little too easy to miss Helen's disclaimers, so people (including myself upon first reading) often come away with the impression that Helen pictures an overly negative picture of some of the sexual problems that can accompany CDing. (In part it's just inherent in "support" books to focus on the problematic aspects of relationships.)

As others have said, the exact results of an impromptu poll here should be taken with a grain of salt, but there are other polls -- such as the 1999 Yvonne's Place survey of nearly 1,200 crossdressers, plus a lot of other evidence -- that sexuality is a not infrequent component of CDing even among us "nice girls," although often it seems to decrease with age for unknown reasons.

[KatieZ]

I think a lot depends on the age and the level of self acceptance of the crossdresser.

When I was younger I would have put it was for sexual pleasure, but nowadays I accept my crossdressing and it is all about dressing pleasure and comfort.



Hugs

[Sarahgurl371]

Thank you all for the opinions and insight. When I finally admitted to myself that I was a CD or TV or whatever it is that I am, I was bound and determined to figure it all out. I bought several books, and My Husband Betty was one of them.(I was glad to read about the sexual component of CDDing in the book). Anyway, I have ALWAYS felt like the outsider. Didn't matter how I was dressed. And since especially in my younger days, there was a more prevailant sexual aspect to CDing, I always felt that I was one of those perverted men who get sexual excitment from womens clothes. I know now that I imposed what I thought society would think of me upon MYSELF. I did it. I didn't need anyone else to demean me, I was capable of doing a fine job all by myself.

So after reading all the information I could find, and seeing how REAL CDs don't get any sexual or sensual pleasure from it, again I felt like I was on the outside looking in, thinking - Gee I wish I was just one of those NORMAL CDs.

I guess my opinion of myself was pretty low for a long time. Thanks to you all and some counseling, I am starting to be OK with me. Oh, I still have days. Yesterday I changed my avitar, showing my face. I was so happy to have a decent pic of ME that I had to change it. Then all night, and most of today, I worried....what if? Just don't want to live like that anymore, I want to be comfortable in my own skin. Ya know?

I guess thats why I posted the poll. And I appreciate the answers and comments received! Just trying to figure this all out for myself. You'd think after 20+ years of CDing, I would know me. Guess I still have some work to do. Oh how I wish I could be like some of you here. The ones who are just completley comfortable with who they are. God Bless.

[Julie]

Tammy,

One thing you have to remember is, for the most part, CDers learn denial as a way of coping with something they cannot discuss with anyone. We live 'normal' lives because that's what we've been taught to do. We pack away that feminine part of us when with the mainstream public and in effect deny it even exists. That may be why more CDers come out later in life. We just don't give a damn who knows or we are sick and tired of hiding it. Still, we become masters of denial and can fool even ourselves. Maybe that's why we can answer polls in a way that improperly represent our true feelings. We don't know we are lying at the time.

I can say that CDing was very sexually exciting to me when I was younger. My first orgasm happened when dressed. Now, at 54, it's all about looking as good as I can but I rarely feel sexy or sensual when dressed. I buy clothes that the average GG would buy rather than clothes that I might find sexy. I like it most when I think I look like a GG. I also like compliments about how I look. But I almost never am sexually aroused by how I'm dressed. I think sexy clothes are for GGs. I can't compete and I don't want to even try. I love the real thing and that's what turns me on.

[KittyMuffin]

I guess I missed the boat to vote but I have to say it heightens me a little, but i have been dressing since I was old enough to walk (sneaking into my mom's room and trying stuff on) so obviously it couldn't have been sexual back then. It just felt right. For me, it's more emotional than anything else.

[renee k]

I agree with Julia's thoughts on this thread, I've been dressing since I can remember and contained it enough to raise a family. Now is the time for me to me. Early on while in puberty it was sexual. But now it's all about bringing out the female side to an extent to be passible in public. I've had many women help me along the way. Under gone electrolysis for several years and have been on hormones as well all in an effort to be female. But two things are always in the way, my children and my career. I feel the disruption, by having SRS would be to much. I owe my kids a father and I don't want to give up a very rewarding career. So I've taken my crossdressing as far as I can without being selfish to those I love dearly and a career I've been in since my early twenties. I only wish that if I have another shot at life on this planet that it be female.

[Clare]

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... it's all about looking as good as I can but I rarely feel sexy or sensual when dressed. I buy clothes that the average GG would buy rather than clothes that I might find sexy. I like it most when I think I look like a GG. I also like compliments about how I look. But I almost never am sexually aroused by how I'm dressed. I think sexy clothes are for GGs. I can't compete and I don't want to even try. I love the real thing and that's what turns me on.

I pretty much agree with Julie on this.

I have never been a crossdresser for the sake of a sexual thrill. My crossdressing is totally based on my desire to have the appearance and perhaps the sensuality of a real woman, although It's been a lifelong journey which continues to this day.

The ONLY time that crossdressing 'excited' me was in my early/mid 20's when I didn't have an SO and my sexual urges were strong. If I happened to be wearing something that got me aroused, well you can figure it out. But this only happened because of a (mainly) physical need at the time. Even back then, I was already a long time crossdresser where erotic clothing was not the catalyst for sexual release - it just didn't influence my origional desire to crossdress at all! Today, there is no sexual component to my XDR'ing in any form.
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