There ya go... you learned something about somebody that changed your opinion of them after they died.
This is, unfortunately, one of the biggest fears most crossdressers are traumatized by on a daily basis. Crossdressers have so much stress and societal bvllshit to deal with, and aside from losing our jobs, losing our families is even harder to deal with.
This is "why" crossdressers "lie" to their significant others.