Example one. May is married to Dave. Dave is deployed overseas. Dave calls May. How are things going? She shopped, cleaned, talked on the phone, went to the movies. What she didn't say was that she shopped with Bob, cleaned b/c Bob was coming over, talked to Bob on the phone, went to the movies with Bob. Dave doesn't ask, so she isn't lying. Bull. She lied. She deceived.
Example two. Johnny went to a halloween party. Came home by curfew and parents ask how was the party? Johnny says it was cool, we had freaky looking food, danced, threw candy at each other. It was fun, he would like to do it next year. What he doesn't say was that they had shots of tequila. His parents didn't ask, so he didn't lie. Again, bull. He lied and deceived.
Example 3. Susie and Ted are dating and so in love. They have talked about their past, their likes and dislikes, their dreams and goals, their religious and political beliefs, their future. Ted doesn't say, I think I better tell you this. I like to wear women's clothes. I don't know why. I know I'm not gay and that I love you with my whole heart. I hope you can find it in your heart to still marry me and we can learn about this together. He lied, he deceived. On purpose.
I understand the concept behind the deception, really, I do, but I am really getting tired of hearing, well, I didn't LIE. I just didn't tell. Its not the same. It IS the same. You deceived your wife to protect yourself. Fine. Who is protecting your wife? The woman you love above all else? She thought you were, but now she finds out, you weren't. Doesn't your SO have the right to make life choices with ALL the pertinent information? And this IS pertinent.
You lied. Admit it and spend your time making up for the deception and lies, instead of trying to say, 'well, I didn't REALLY lie.'
