I thank everyone for all their input!
I thank everyone for all their input!
Hi Louise,
I can sympathize with your predicament, but it also sounds to me that you are like many of us here - heterosexual! Trust me when I tell you you don't have to try it to know you're not gay! I had one or two admirers in the house to dress for before I started going out, but the public is much, much more fun than some leering perv that's just interested because you look female whilst being male. I have become much more sympathic to the plight/place of women in our society now that I've learned how to attract creepy guys. I dunno, I am a guy & guys are gross and smelly. Girls aren't and I don't understand why they're not all lesbians.....
Best,
SS
I had an idea earlier. It would require a CDing companion though...but, it wouldn't be about sex unless you took it there.
What if you met someone through Tri-Ess or maybe a TG friendly bar and you agree to go on a play date. During this date, one of you would dress up and the other would be in drab. It could be your night for being the woman for the evening...you could dance, have doors opened for you, whatever.
In exchange, you would do the same for the other person. You would go in drab one night and be the courteous man for the evening.
This way, maybe you'd meet someone who understood what you were looking for and wouldn't be so pushy and creepy about it. If things go well during the evening, you could take it to the next level. If things aren't really hitting it off...oh well, you still met a great friend!
I hate to say it, but I feel like 99.5% of men you meet on the internet will be looking for one thing. There are a few good people...but, they are few and far between. I mean, not to be rude...but, if they are looking for people online it probably means that their actual dating/social skills are pretty heinous. This isn't true for everyone, because I have a few friends that are on match.com and other dating sites. But, the people that I do know on those dating sites haven't met anyone worth a dang. So, I feel like meeting someone online can be like searching for a needle in a haystack. All the opportunities are there, but they aren't necessarily the type of people that I want to meet.
It seems like when I meet people in person, they are less sketchy. Maybe it's because people that are out and about meeting people usually have better social skills...it may be a lot of things. But, that might be something to consider.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
Hey Shananigans, I like the style... experimentation... little by little. I guess this is the way most of us are. I have my fantasies but I really don't want to act on them as I know it isn't me... but then I don't know who I am unless I try things...
Louise, this has been an amazing thread that has touched many of us in provocative ways... I hope we are all sound at the end! It is good to have conflict to stretch your boundaries, but sometimes it can be personally painful! At all levels!
Kaz xx
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This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
Skirtuit, Shen, and Kaz, Thanks for your valuable input. I think i will concentrate more on going out in public, like movies, classical music concerts, and stores. You are so right, that 99.5% are after only one thing. Why can't men practice a little old fashioned gentlemany self-control??? I could have had sex with two different ladies, but, both times held back. Why can't a guy just watch me model, and give a leg show, without going into me? You all are right. Women are just objects, and cd's are too, to many men! I hope to go to movies, stores, and concerts now.
Great attitude Louise. I too like Shanan's idea or some variation on it. I have heard of CD's hooking up with other CD's and having good success when both are willing participants. Some pros to that approach are that both have common interests (CDing), both are interested in intimate experimenting that might lead to a more gentle and old fashioned approach, and both are probably just as concerned about privacy and the possibility that one of the CD's may just out the other person if they get mistreated the other. Food for thought anyway.
Sounds like a great idea, Louise. I personally believe that trying to look your best has its own rewards. Also, I've found smiles and supportive comments from strangers, especially women, to be far more gratifying than dealing with da pervs.I think i will concentrate more on going out in public
Best,
SS
Thank you all for replying! It means a lot to me! I am pretty naiive when trusting strangers, because i am a loner, and quite a stranger, myself. Going out around here, will not be that easy, as it is a small town farming area. I will have to travel a bit, to Dekalb Illinois, a college town, where it would be easier, but, at six foot ten in high heels, i will draw a lot of looks! Like Skirtsuit said, though, it is better, than some perv behind closed doors. A decent, kind, non pushy admirer, i may handle ok, but they are few and far between.
Yeah...There is another angle here...The guy's safety!! Louise is gonna do a job on him...He may never be the same.... Lucky *******..Have fun Louise...and fill us in on all the juicy details..Smooches Jackie
Jackie
Good for you, Louise. How did this guy first get acquainted with you?
My Craigslist ad, which said i only would do modeling and leg show.
Okay, I'm out. ;-)Originally Posted by Treetop Louise
Okay.
Louise,
If you putting ads out there on craigslist, you cant be dissappointed that your not meeting the right people, or the people you do meet are creeps. Remember your fishing on craigslist.
Putting an ad out there for "just a show" is being read by the creepers like this "Just for sex". Your dealing with men who cruise craiglist, who ARE looking for more than just a show.
Not only is this really unsafe but your not going to meet anyone worthwhile without going thru droves of creepy guys. Find a nice dating site or interview your potential dates a lot better. Be Specific in what your looking for and where your boundaries are.
The anonymous trend of CL is what people are using these days to stalk people of alt lifestyles. PLZ BE very careful.
-Donni-
Louise, if Craiglist in your area is similar to mine, the ads posted in Craiglist by males looking for trans (M4T) are 99.9% the same. They are looking for one thing only - quick, sexual encounters. I'm not surprised at all by the types of responses you are receiving. If you drop your hook and bait in a pond full of single-minded predators, that is what you are going to catch. It is not your fault, but that is the reality of Craigslist. It is a shame your planned date did not work out as desired, but if Craigslist is where you have been searching for a date, it is not surprising you found someone whose interest was only sexual.
I spent some time thinking about a kind and gentle way to say this, but finally decided on being direct. You want to model and give a leg show then complain about women (and cds) as being treating as objects? Maybe I'm interpreting it wrong, but that seems hypocritical. By modeling and giving a show to an audience, you are objectifying women and yourself because it is all about appearance and not substance. Purposefully modeling and giving a show to an audience and not expecting it to being taken sexual is unrealistic. There is a difference between being out in public and inviting an audience to watch you model and give a show. I doubt men go to strip clubs to admire the dancer's brains and personalities. You want the attention, affirmation and admiration that comes with modeling and giving a show, but unwilling to accept the consequences of doing it in a sexual manner. I'm not trying to "blame the victim", but you can't have it both ways. It would be great if women were not sexually objectified, but the real world is not that way. You can't invite a starving dog in your house then complain when it steals food you left out on the kitchen table.
If you want to model and give a show, consider doing it on video cam in an appropriate chat room. The chat room in the link at the top of pages here has rooms for that purpose. It is a safer way to do it without having to deal with the potential undesirable problems in person.
Last edited by Melissa Rose; 11-08-2011 at 05:36 PM. Reason: Added a sentence for clarification
Louise, you might want to re-think this. That's potentially dangerous.
You're close enough to Chicago to get to safe activities there, and there's the potential to meet admirers in a more safe setting if that's your main desire. I'd urge you to make the effort to head down to Chicago once a month or so rather than putting ads on Craigslist, too much potential for trouble the way you're doing this currently. Stay safe!
Carol
My name is Carol.
[SIZE="3"]The CL ad is pulled now. I broke rule number one. Always meet in a public place first/ Good thing we did not meet.[/SIZE]
Probably just as well. Are you considering this in the future? If so, I agree that a public meeting is the way to go.
Craigslist is always good in theory
It's not really your fault that CL has turned into cesspool of failure. It could be a great way (in theory) to meet people...but, now you have learned that it's mostly filled with the kind of people that you don't really want to meet.
I hate saying that because there could be that ONE person on there. (Needle in a haystack). But, hopefully that person would get better wits about himself/herself and move on to some place that is more legit and filled with less creepy people.
Essentially, that's what you are doing...you can't be the only one!!!
We live and we learn.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
Looking for someone on Craigslist is a lot like fishing in a puddle filled with mosquito larvae.
Louise, i am glad your ok, alway follow rule one, (BE CAREFUL AND SAFE WHILE DRESSING) I agree with Nicole, enjoy being a girl but take care of yourself, there is too many people in this world that just don't like us. love Stacy
[SIZE="3"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"]Stacy Lynn Coral[/SIZE]
Louise, this REALLY needed to be said. Think a bit about what your ideas about being female really are. Don't become part of the problem.
Stephie
Yes, count me in with the prudes, if it needs to be called that.
Proteus,
Where ever did you find MRS Captain Haddock?
Stephie
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