I tryed but couldent

[RenneB]

Baby steps girl. One step at a time.... getting comfy with yourself in the real world takes a lot of getting used to. I know, I'm not even close but still venture out every now and then..... Just keep swimming....

Renne.....

[Nancie64]

Boy this sounds all too much like we all go through. I have had several makeovers in Vegas and after most I was amazed at how I looked, but on two occasions, I only visited a store and bought a soda. The other couple of times we did go to the casino and play a little. Still nerve racking but did do it. It does not all come easy and time will tell. To gain a little confidence my SO has me get out in a parking lot and take a walk, or just stroll down the sidewalks past the stores. The times we did stop at some places, right, no one did pay any attention, but I still have a tough time doing it. I think starting to go out at a younger age does help. I didn't venture until I was almost 60, none of us look that great at that age. Good luck to all us girls and let's hope that people who do notice us, if they have nothing nice to say, they should be quiet. Maybe they should walk in our heels.

[docrobbysherry]

For some, it's very ENERVATING! For others, it's very STRESSFUL!

My solo ventures out among the Muggles, (it's Harry Potter weekend), were definitely the latter! And, they required that I dress to BLEND! Eewe!

My suggestion for closet dressers is: Go out amongst them if u MUST!

But, many of us PREFER to dress HOWEVER WE LIKE in a RELAXED, SAFE, ENVIORNMENT!

[Nicole Erin]

If you really want a fun time out dressed, go to the mall on saturday night

[Julogden]

Maybe joining a support group such as the Chicago Gender Society would be a good idea. You could make friends to do stuff with together. I haven't been a member since the 1990's, but after the monthly meetings, a lot of us used to go to a nearby restaurant and mingle with the muggles. It was a bit scary the first time, but the first time is the most difficult, gets easier after that.

And there's a Yahoo group for Chicago area girls who like to get together out in public on a frequent basis for dining and other stuff, click here.

Carol

[SarahLynn]

'ey luv just a few words of encouragement, Tomorrow is another day and another chance to make it happen. Go endrab with your GF and treat her to a good meal then try again tomorrow or next week or sometime soon.

SarahLynn

[Mimi]

Maybe there was something in the parking lot that hit your subconscious and told you it wasn't safe--a car you've seen, or just some sixth sense that this wasn't the time. Perhaps next time try for something where you won't be spending a long time in one spot--a restaurant can be nerve-wracking because you are sitting at the same table for a prolonged length of time. Try going to a fast-food place, where you can dine in, if you feel comfortable, but you can always make for the exit at any time. Then if that goes well, you can go for the restaurant. My other suggestion, if you are nervous about being seen, would be to eat some place with relatively private booths (Black Angus seems to have booths with big walls around them) and sit with your back to people entering the restaurant. Good luck and it's great you have such a supportive GF!

[erintemp]

'ey luv just a few words of encouragement, Tomorrow is another day and another chance to make it happen. Go endrab with your GF and treat her to a good meal then try again tomorrow or next week or sometime soon.

SarahLynn

we were thinking the samething, that maby going in drab first would help me get there dressed. I think we will be able to go this week.

[erintemp]

Maybe there was something in the parking lot that hit your subconscious and told you it wasn't safe

There was nothing in the parking lot that stopped me. I started getting nervuse/scard/frightend way before we got to the parking lot.

[Abbey Lane]

I will give you credit you got that far. I never been out of my house and I'd be the same way I am sure heart racing and anxiety sitting in. But congrats you made it that far. I know you'll do the extra step soon. I wish I could be as brave as you. In time I am sure we'll hear back from you that you did it and loved it. You can do it.

[erintemp]

Maybe joining a support group such as the Chicago Gender Society would be a good idea. You could make friends to do stuff with together. I haven't been a member since the 1990's, but after the monthly meetings, a lot of us used to go to a nearby restaurant and mingle with the muggles. It was a bit scary the first time, but the first time is the most difficult, gets easier after that.

And there's a Yahoo group for Chicago area girls who like to get together out in public on a frequent basis for dining and other stuff, click here.



Carol

Thank you Carol, I'm going to give them a try.

[DeeArel]

There is a business in Arlington Hts that sponsors at least one event a month for CD's called transformations by rori. I have not made it to one of these events but have been to her place of business. I plan to attend one when I am in the area on the right date. They usually gather on the third Tuesday each month. Somtimes, other events are sponsored on the weekends.

[xcdmargo]

I'm on a little trip to Florida and am driving. I decided to drive from NY to Orlando completely dressed the whole time. I got gas dressed, went into service centers and rest areas dressed (I use the family restrooms), I checked into the hotels dressed and stopped for sandwiches dressed. I have to say it was a wonderful trip and I had absolutely no problems. I stopped at a Subway sandwich one night and there was a police officer in the line behind me which kinda freaked me out a little but I remained calm and it was not a problem.
I stopped at the outlet stores in NC and did a little shopping and again I had no problems.
I can't tell you how refreshing it was.
But I must say going to a sit down restaurant kinda scares me but I'd try it if I was with some other people.

I agree with the other girls in that we all go at our own pace and that's just fine

margo

[ashlylynn]

The problem you encountered was trying to dive off the high platform before you dove off the low board and tested the water temp.

Maybe next time try going for a short walk with your GGF and through a few stores quickly to reassure yourself that you''ll pass.

- Just because people stare at you does not mean you're made. Could be they like your ouftit.

[LeannL]

Erin,
You made progress with this abbreviated trip. So don't beat yourself up.

Going to a restaurant may not be the easiest first major outing because you will sit there through an entire meal and your self consciousness has a chance to increase as you interact with the wait staff and others. However, if you do go, especially with your GG friend, always remember if you feel uncomfortable, you can always get up and leave at any time (let your friend take care of paying). Given that no one will know you, there is no downside.

There may be better places for you to go. For example, you could go to the movies letting your GG friend purchase the tickets. This will get you out in a small crowd, let you sit amongst many others, yet you will be in semi stealth mode as the amount of time you interact with the public is limited. This will get you over your nerves a little bit at a time - coming in and going out.

Good luck,
Leann

[erintemp]

Thank you ladys for all your help, it took a couple of days but I'm not upset with myself no more. I've gone in a couple stores and I thought I was ready, I guess not. My gg friend and I are still planning to see the x-mass lights downtown, that should be easy to do. hopefully we can go this weekend and take some pics (haven't done that yet) and post them, maby that will help getting the ball rolling. As for my GG friend she is the greatest and I let her know all the time. She is still by my side and says she will always be there to help me.


Thank you,
Erin

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

It is like cold call sales, they say the hardest thing is opening the car door and getting out to go knock on the door. Try going shopping in a town away from home or go to a movie at a theater away from home. Nobody really cares and they don't know you so why should you care what they think, unless of course they think you look great and then you would welcome their comments. I live probably within shouting distance of you but never go to local haunts en femme since my wife and I want to keep sandra a secret to friends and family. I used to go all the time to CHI TRIESS and it was a lot of fun, many of the girls are very nice, Rory, of Transformations in Arlington Heights is a regular attendee and sells wigs and such and will gladly help you with styling and just the right look. You should check them out at chitriess.com, regular monthly meetings and you can go even without being a member, they would welcome you and your GG friend. They ussually hit the bar at the hotel afterwards so it is a comfortable way of getting your feet wet, so to speak. PM me if you decide to go and I'll try to meet up at the meeting and buy you a drink if your up for it afterwards.

[Maria 60]

Don't be so hard on yourself i give you credit for having the courage to even leave your house and walk to the car. You should be very proud of yourself and maybe next time you will get out of the car. Just take it slow and don't make to much of it.

[Missy]

you made it that far
you will know when it is time
over come with excitement and fear of what will happen all at one time
maybe if the was less people it could of been better

[Di]

That happens...it is natural. Do not beat yourself up about it....you went out for a drive...score!!
It is not a race...do what you want to do....and at your time frame.

[Roberta Young]

Erin give it time. keep trying. it will become natural. now if they had pizza, nothing would stop me from grazing. Luv Roberta

[natalie james]

still, you are much braver than I.......

[elliemoss]

Dont worry, no point in beating yourself up about it you,ll get the chance again. By the sounds of it your're much further down the road than I am having a gg friend and having gone out twice already. Ive only managed to get around the block late at night a couple of times, never mind make it out to a club. I did try to go out during the day once but it got too stressful for me too 10 mins into my walk and I turned back. Youre doing great

[linda allen]

You've got someone to go with you, that should make it much easier. Instead of a restaurant where you will have to talk to people and be stuck at a table, get your GG to go with you to a mall. Walk into the different stores and shop. You don't have to try on or buy anything and if you're uncomfortable, leave and go back into the mall or to a different store. You can eat in the food court and either order yourself or have your GG order for you.

[linda allen]

You've got someone to go with you, that should make it much easier. Instead of a restaurant where you will have to talk to people and be stuck at a table, get your GG to go with you to a mall. Walk into the different stores and shop. You don't have to try on or buy anything and if you're uncomfortable, leave and go back into the mall or to a different store. You can eat in the food court and either order yourself or have your GG order for you.

Last time out I walked around a couple different malls but didn't actually go into the stores. But, I was alone. A partner would make it so much easier.