Sweetpea, I'm saddened to read you have a hard time with 'our' issues. I understand the pain you must endure and my heart goes out to you. You need not apologize for being who you are, ever. There are many different types of people on the Earth, and they walk within all circles so no matter where you go for whatever reason, not everyone will understand, not everyone will be kind, not everyone will have an opinion, but be assured, someone will get hurt by others, sadly. I find it very troubling that your s/o finds no reason to discuss this in a sensitive manner with you and consider the impact it would have on your life. Anyone with any compassion within themselves would understand how important it is to provide to the spouse, the answers needed to help in any way possible. The discovery of one's spouse being gender enhanced is no laughing matter, in fact, I'm surpised how well some gg's take the news, all thigs considered( mine included). Most wives/GF's never signed on for this at the beginning of the relationship and to ask them to simply accept it is hard to swallow.
Stay strong Sweetpea, and if necessary, demand he talk openly and honestly about this. You do not deserve to be in pain as a result of this.
