Most women will remark about other women. My wife has said, "She looks great in that," and "She has a cute figure." I have overheard other women saying the same types of things to their husbands or friends. Are we to assume that they are all lesbians since they are looking at women in dresses? Maybe you can try a context shift with your wife and show that what you are doing on-line pretty much parallels what happens so often in life that she probably doesn't even notice it anymore.
Unfortunately, TG people have been their own worst enemies in some respects. A spouse can go to any CD, TV, TG, or TS forum and find lots of posts from men who want an encounter with another man. Usually there's something in those posts about "feeling more fem", "more completely a woman", or "only when I'm dressed." A lot of CDs also spend a lot of time in gay bars and around the gay community. While the reason for this is understandable, gays aren't hostile to TGs, one of the side effects is that people like Marla's wife can point to those web sites and say "See! I told you so!"
Fortunately, on-line isn't the only resource, nor is it the best resource. There's a lot of literature out there that has good, scientific research behind it that views transgenderism in a positive or at least neutral light. Of course, if you can convince your wife to talk over these issues with you and a therapist who is familiar with GID, so much the better. Personally, I'd keep my wife away from the on-line stuff. There is as much that's problematic and counter productive as there is that is helpful.
Warmest regards
Christina Nicole.
P.S.
The second paragraph is not a value judgement. But it does reflect some of the problems that I have had and the problems of others I know who have pointed wives and girlfriends to on-line resources.
C.N.
