Would you ever tell employers that you cross dress?

[Josie M]

As far as work in concerned, I don't talk about where I work on the internet though any of my public personas or on stage (I do storytelling from time to time). Likewise, any conversations about my personal life at the office is strictly on a "need to know" basis. That being said, I have just finished a two-year term with our diversity council and plan to be more active supporting the LGBT affinity group this year. While I am not gay (relative to my birth gender that is), I do think there may be some value in sharing that I'm TG with that group. A lot of members of the group are either straight "allies" or "under the radar". That's not to say they are closeted, they're just concerned about potential impact to their careers. Sadly, LGBT still carries a negative stigma with those in position to make promotion/hiring decisions.

Yet, if no one was out at work, there would be no LGBT support group. Additionally, the "T" part of "LGBT" tends to be under-represented. I have outed myself to a long-time friend who works at the same place, partially to explain my empathy toward the LGBT group and partially because it was weird that she'd known me so long and never knew this about me.

I'm a bit torn between "My personal life is none of their business" and "T's need to be represented as well".

[KlaireLarnia]

Thanks for all the comments on this, I was amazed at the results and the amount of them!

It is a shame most people think it is unwise to explain that you cross dress at work or do it (even in limited form). I fully understand that if you are Transgender and going through the latter stages in preparation to being female full time you have little choice and in a lot of cases it seems employers may understand or accept this (well in the UK I think they would anyhow, even if the staff where not so sure).

My main concern was that with me not falling in the LGBT bracket in any respect I would basically be doing something akin to shooting myself in the foot before running a marathon - and it seems I was right in that area. Shame really as someone rightly pointed out, we can have tattoos, piercings in pretty much any place and almost to any amount but we cannot wear clothes that make us comfortable without getting ridiculed. Sad how society has allowed this.

I am frankly amazed that the USA seems to be so anti on a large scale, when it is supposed to be (or was) the land of dreams. Perhaps it still is as long as those dreams do not involve wearing female clothes if you are not female. I Dunno.

I am currently evaluating my own situation at home and work. As I go away at times I do have dressing chances and public ones outside of the eyes of work which is good. But these can also fuel an annoyance at not being able to do it in other situations - so there is a trade off. I hope oneday that dressing at work would not be such an issue, but perhaps that requires another generation to overcome that issue and not my one

K

[Raychel]

When I was an employer, I pretty much kept it to myself. It would not be a wise business decision to allow that cat out of the bag.

Now I am an employee. In my line of work (blue collar) everyone wears a uniform. Male or female, it is all the same.
Would I ever tell my boss. If the subject came up and he asked, I would be truthful. But I will not go out of my way to bring it up.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

it's business...whatever makes the owner more $$ wins... having a guy walking walking around in clothing that bothers people (life is not fair) will never make the boss more money
lots of people will want you out for tattoos and earrings too...

Personal matters are almost never appropriate business matters... Need to know means tell no one..no one in the world "needs" to know about what you wear under your pants...if you wear black and green combat print underwear, who needs to know??

Even as a TS woman, if i was a boss, and you came to me and told me you crossdressed, i'd say why are you telling me this? and from that moment forward i'd make a mental note that you are an idiot.

[Josie M]

...
Even as a TS woman, if i was a boss, and you came to me and told me you crossdressed, i'd say why are you telling me this? and from that moment forward i'd make a mental note that you are an idiot.

I certainly hope you are kidding...a lot of TGs are CDs first and not all TGs are TS. Such a person could be in the process of "coming out" and see you as a safe person to come out to. Brushing them off as an "idiot" is a bit harsh, don't you think?

[Kaitlyn Michele]

not kidding
yes harsh... but also real.. it's business for crying out loud.....
it's a competitive harsh world...there are 3 good people for every job right now..
if you are bagging groceries(which i have done btw..), maybe nobody really cares...but if you have any meaningful responsibility, you are demonstrating very poor judgement

Its a bad strategy for a person coping with transsexuality to start their coming out process at work... it's just a flat out bad idea... i understand the urge...it's very real..but its work...its business...
If you are crossdressing for enjoyment, how can you possibly argue that's appropriate to bring into work??
having an affair, getting drunk at lunch, sending inflammatory emails that will end up traced to you, and telling your boss you'd like to wear some NY&Co city pants (cute as they are) to work are all stupid moves..

people still do them...but i would not trust your judgement if you did..

I totally support all of our rights from drag queens to transsexuals...but WORK is the EXACT wrong place to come out....ts people end up having no choice, and despite best laid plans of many, it still gets us marginalized at best, and fired at worst..

[April_Ligeia]

I can't think of a single reason to tell my employer. That is just not an appropriate subject, just as I would never feel compelled to tell my employer that I listen to industrial music. The logical response would be, 'why are you telling me thid, what is wrong with you?' If the motivation is to try to get a green light to crossdress at work, I would expect that to backfire. I wear business casual to work because I'm at WORK. I wear whatever I want at home.