I think it's more important to realize if it is semantics of language or an issue of identity.
Identity: I'm me regardless of how I look or what I call myself. There are different personality traits that seem to come up when en femme. I think it has to do with the fact that our own sense of self is a combination of internal traits as well as the external demeanor weighed down by the trivialities and experiences of life. Kae doesn't need to have some of the facades Mike does. On the other hand, I wouldn't say she's the 'real' me either. Integrating the two has happened in many respects and that has made my life better.
Semantics: As above, I referred to her (or to him when en femme) for clarity. If my girlfriend and I are out, maybe shopping, she'd ask "Would Kaela like this?" I refer to the closet with all of my girl stuff in it as "Kae's Closet", etc. I personally would not want my girlfriend to yell across an aisle to ask if a specific piece of lingerie or a dress will fit me.It's just a shorthand or done to avoid confusion or embarrassment.
