I'm going to sound like a royal a$$ but..

[Leanne2]

To me it depends how well we can pass. It's one thing to go out as a woman and have people believe that you are a woman. But it is entirely a different matter if you are instantly recognized as a man in a dress. That is no fun. I go out enfem all the time but only because I can pass most of the time. I wouldn't go out if I looked like a linebacker and I understand if others feel the same way. Years ago I was a member of TriEss. The chapter always rented a changing room next to their meeting room. That way someone could come in drab and then attend the meeting enfem. They looked like men in dresses but everyone understood and no one cared. We are all sisters no matter how we look. Leanne

[busker]

"It is funny how people can ignore the fact that countless Trans people have come before them and survived coming out."

Katie, If coming out in the trans world is so easy--why are there forever people saying how high the suicide rate is among TS?. Coming out is more than just wearing a pair of panties. Coming out in any form can be a mistake whether a person has had SRS or not. Or are some people just exaggerating to keep everyone IN THE CLOSET.? How many TS are integrated with the real world, and haven't just hidden away doing porn stuff for an income? Are there hundreds of TS fashion models--even Pejic hasn't changed his sex--but no doubt gets an earful from the fundamentalist right. People simply don't like things that are not black or white--as a culture, we have hardly changed at all, women are still battling over their reproductive rights and control over their lives. Except for some media attention and a lot of legislation MANDATING change, do you really believe even the gay community would be as accepted as it is today without that support? We are largely an ignorant society and in some cases downright stupid, more concerned with entertainment than the quality of life. So, to have someone push me into doing something that I believe would be against my best interests, borders on stupidity, not just ignorance. Things may be different in Florida where you can ride into the sunset on your Harley, but in Dayton, Ohio it is likely to be very different.

[busker]

Everyone's "unique" situation is the same situation we've heard 1000's of times. Its so unique its boring.



What support do you really need if your not actually doing anything?
The whining about having to hide gets old when the person doing it has absolutely no intention of ever doing anything about improving the situation.

Well, MissMarcie, looks like you have been read your MIRANDA rights.

[Miranda-E]

that gay community support and legislation mandating change didn't happen without a lot of work and a lot of people with the guts to say "I'm one too and this is wrong"
So change dayton ohio, or move out of it, but don't use it as an excuse.
At least Pejic has the guts to do what he does to get that earfull from the fundamentalist right. Yeah he painted a BIG target on himself, and he's doing damn well.

[Sandy Banks]

I'm ready, now all I need are some girls to join me!!!!

[suzy1]

Jess, you wonder if your thread sounds arrogant and self righteous………..yep!!!!!

[Katesback]

I should point out to you I did my entire transition in RED NECK Tennessee. Hey if you want to hide thats fine. If you feel that strongly that the big bad world will tear you up then your are actually quite correct. The fact is if you walk into the world with that feeling it is likely to become true. So yes by all means stay at home and play dress up and do what ya do. Its all cool with me.

As far as your questions about TS women. Well sweety this is a CD section where we discuss CD issues. I post about TS issues in the TS part of the forum. But your questions are not really possible to answer. See many of us just blend in and dont walk around advertising our existance. So its really not possible to answer your questions. There are a lot of pre op girls that do porn. Its a way to make money I suppose. Theres a lot of guys that like that sort of stuff.

"It is funny how people can ignore the fact that countless Trans people have come before them and survived coming out."

Katie, If coming out in the trans world is so easy--why are there forever people saying how high the suicide rate is among TS?. Coming out is more than just wearing a pair of panties. Coming out in any form can be a mistake whether a person has had SRS or not. Or are some people just exaggerating to keep everyone IN THE CLOSET.? How many TS are integrated with the real world, and haven't just hidden away doing porn stuff for an income? Are there hundreds of TS fashion models--even Pejic hasn't changed his sex--but no doubt gets an earful from the fundamentalist right. People simply don't like things that are not black or white--as a culture, we have hardly changed at all, women are still battling over their reproductive rights and control over their lives. Except for some media attention and a lot of legislation MANDATING change, do you really believe even the gay community would be as accepted as it is today without that support? We are largely an ignorant society and in some cases downright stupid, more concerned with entertainment than the quality of life. So, to have someone push me into doing something that I believe would be against my best interests, borders on stupidity, not just ignorance. Things may be different in Florida where you can ride into the sunset on your Harley, but in Dayton, Ohio it is likely to be very different.

[JessHaust]

.......But it is entirely a different matter if you are instantly recognized as a man in a dress. That is no fun........

I been recognized as a man in a dress many times, probably many more that I did not realize. But the times when I have, It's been more than fun. I've had people ask to take my picture with them, I've had them sit down with me at a resturant and ask questions, I've about decided that in many places I (and my girlfriends) are just plan rock stars. Most people love us, and the ones who don't never say a word that we can hear.
A lot of you are completely missing my point. I'm really trying to tell you that it IS NOT scary out there, the scary is in your head. Pose some questions to the girls here who go out, see if any of these terrible dire consequences have happened to them, I think you will find that if any have it is a tiny minority.

[BRANDYJ]

This board is full of girls who stay at home, wishing they could, would, might maybe, ............go out dressed. And most of you look at those of us who say we do and either don't believe it, or just think "sure you can, but things are different for me'
Well I really need to say, BS!, if I can do it you can. The only thing stopping you is you. All the fear, all the doubt is within you, and the solution is there as well, within you.
It's hard , but once you do it, it's like pandora's box, it will never go back in, and you will be so glad you let it out.
Find a group, find a friend, it's not hard, just the right words into Google, and there you are. (meet up, transgender,cross-dress and your city)
Do you really want to stay home, keep this bottled up inside yourself, forever? Is chatting with unseen, unknown people on the internet all you are looking for? I can't believe it.
The world is a really big, really forgiving wonderful place if you will just give it the chance. People will surprise you with understanding. You are the most critical thing in your life, not them, you only have to step outside to see this.
OK, there I have pissed off most of you, scared some others and maybe rung a bell with others, but If this arrogant, self righteous, hurtful diatribe of mine has motivated just one of you to actually put on your best dress and go out and enjoy life, it was worth it.

So many things wrong with the OP's opinion on why some of us don't go out and the reasons we don't. One thing I dislike about posts like this is that it "might" push someone out the door that is not ready. Kind of like a mother bird that pushes her baby chicks out of the nest thinking he will fly. The fact is some don't, they fall to their death because they're not ready to fly. So why are you trying to push those that are not ready out the door?
Some that are out think all of us want to go public when it's my opinion most have no desire for what you very wrongly call fear. For many, it's just good judgment and common sense, NOT FEAR!
Many of us have families to consider above and beyond anything.
Most of us have jobs that could be put in jeopardy
Some of us have a re[putation in our churches or community to protect.
Some might want to, but honor their wife's wishes not to.
Most of us tha identify as a crossdresser do not have the body, head, face shape and size to be looked upon as anything but a man in a dress regardless of the amount of money on wigs and makeup. And most of us do not want to be looked upon by anybody, including strangers, as being a man in a dress and laughed at. ridiculed or worse. In my opinion, if you are built like a football lineman with pronounced 5 O'Clock shadow that nothing can cover, then it's not fear at all, but good common sense! By saying all or most of us that don't go out publicly, is because of fear is in a way, calling us chicken! That's offensive.

The majority really do care what other's think, especially family... and most of all, their wife. Most people do care what others think! If not, then we, as a society are in serious trouble on a lot of fronts. Most of us are not so selfish as to put all the above at risk simply to go out dressed.

I see several members here that can and do pull it off without being read. I am very happy for them, and yes, even somewhat envious. I also see some that are only fooling themselves to think no one notices! And then those that know they don't even come close to passing or blending that simply don't care what others think. Yes, that's their right. Just as much as it is for the general public has to laugh and point at anything unusual and strange to them. Of course the majority of those that do laugh and point, do it without the person they are laughing at even knowing it. So of course many think they pulled it off.

In my last job, we had several CD's and or TS's come into the store. Only one made even me laugh! This poor guy was dressed in shorts, some sort of sloppy top and makeup that looked like it had been applied the day before! He also was built rather obese. He horribleoorible! Another was tall, about 6'2" Dressed in apants pant's and top outfit. Sjhe looked good and would fool 98 % of those that saw her. The only give away was when spolitelypolitly approachaskednd aske dif she needed any help and she responded with, " Why the F**k don't you people just leave me the F**k alone!" Now that's surely one kind of person that doesn'tdoes'nt care what others think of them!
Another is part of a couple. They are older, maybe around 65. They are polite and I have waited on them and had no issues with them. I might add, everyone in the store treated them both very respectfully. Of course she was dressed appropriate for her age. But she was not dressing and going out for the thrill of it, or trying to open a Pandora Box. She had more reason then us CD's have, that's for sure.

I have gone out to places where we are welcomed and expected to be. I dress at home and risked being stopped for some minor traffic offense. I have'nt done it since a nephew was killed on duty as a local police officer. He shared my last name and I would not want to dishonor him and his family if I was stopped by local police. Again, not fear. Call it self respect and honor.
To the new members, please don't think this is a majority opinion on going out or not. Pleae use common sense and good judgement and weigh the consquenses you could face in your community.

Simply put.....Going out dressed is not the bowl of cherries some make it out to be. Don't be bullied into thinking it's fear! In fact. some of us are brave enough, strong enough to use common sense and think of others before ourselves, or at least as much.

[Nigella]

This subject is one of the most divisive there are on the whole topic of crossdressing. There have been enough threads about the benefits and pitfalls of coming out of the closet. Each and every member has the right to make the decision for themselves, based upon their own circumstances and personal beliefs. We don't want or need any more threads ramming this topic down the throats of all and sundry. Leave it alone and let people live their lives as they wish, there are enough people out there telling us we are right or wrong to do what we do, without us doing the same.