Her not so subtle message to you: "I know that you wear women's clothing. I don't like it, and I'm going to show you that I disapprove by cutting up your femme clothes. I DON'T want to talk about this with you, or I would have!" (Actually, she already did, and you denied what she already knew or suspected.)
Now, you can choose to have a confrontation, but beware! Every message she has given you says, "Now, Don't go there." You take this action at your own peril!
It's often very tough to maintain The Status-Quo. We want to share, we want to tell. But, it not all about us! Others, like a spouse have a stake in an ongoing relationship, and they have a Right "Not to deal with things," if they so choose.
A possibly non-threatening halfway measure. Find a really good book, or a pamphlet about the subject, (No Raunchy Pictures...no sexual fantasies) and leave it somewhere where she can find it, and then it's her option. However, My Advise is to "leave it alone!" You start pushing her, and she's talking with her GF's, (which no doubt she is) you just might get served with papers.
Peace and Love, Joanie
