I see no reason to see a shrink for CD'ing. They can get thier fun the same way if they like. Other things, maybe, but not CDing. I agree, your shrink needs a doctor!
I see no reason to see a shrink for CD'ing. They can get thier fun the same way if they like. Other things, maybe, but not CDing. I agree, your shrink needs a doctor!
This sentence belies the statement that you accept and enjoy that part of your life. Is it possible that he was trying to open you up and get you to talk about real feelings instead of small talk or fantasies? This macho talk about smacking people kinda sounds like a cry for help to me. Who are you and what are your plans? Why did you see a therapist in the first place? Everybody is smacking you on the back and giving you the "go girl" when nobody even knows your situation. Since when does "support" mean unconditional agreement?Originally Posted by Wonderwho
I've known quite a few therapists and I believe you could do better than this. It's not a good sign for therapy to start off with the therapist suggesting you feel inadequate about yourself. The job of a good therapist is to help you feel better about yourself. I suggest contacting (even online) a local TG support group and asking for recommendations for some TG-friendly therapists in your area.
Lyric
It's a therapist's job to get u to consider things, points of view, peripheral aspects of life, etc., that u may have skipped over or avoided!
Dumping a therapist because u don't agree with one of his/her opinions is kind of like throwing out the baby with the bath water! They're SUPPOSED to make u think! If u don't LIKE this person, that's another matter entirely! And, a good reason to dump him!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I don't think a therapist is able to read your mind and tell you why you're doing something based on his personal bias.
IMO I would be insulted, the idea that CDing is an escape from the tough, brutal male world seems sexist as hell.
You can still enjoy the "perks" of manhood from the other side of the "pink line" as long as you don't care what others think. I still love peeing standing up (makes me wish women's bathrooms had urinals).
Thanks to all of you for the respones, they varied across the board. This is why I find this site so great to be a part of. going to a therpist was a knee jerk reaction when I came out to my wife. I thought that there really was " something wrong with me" even after 50 years of CDing. I know who I am, I know what to do about the gender issues and the only guilt I have is that I waited so long to come out to my wife. The best theripist in the world lives with me and has been there for 27 years, if the two of us cannot come to a understanding and a realistic plan for the future then how could any theripist help me find out why I crossdress. I know why I CD, it feels right, it feels better now that I can share with my wife. The kids, that may take a while.
Thank you all, you really are the best group of People I have ever had the pleasure to talk to.
To all the new members, listen with care, you will never find this many caring, helpfull people in one place Wonderwho
.... and someday I too will become a butterfly screamed the catapiller!!!
I do think I have the best of both worlds, in a way. Yeah, I would not mind having born a woman, but hey its not too bad the way it is.
I do think your therapist's points apply to a many CD's. I know it has applied to me as well. For some of us it is really difficult to balance our responsibilities with our CDing.
If we spend too much time with our CDing then important things fall by the wayside. If we decide that there are so many things to get done and forget the CDing, then we
suffer in other ways.
His points may or may not apply to you. You need to think about this carefully rather than getting angry. Does your therapist have any training in gender-related issues? If not,
he probably is not really qualified to issue an opinion on your CDing. On the other hand, he might have just wanted to make you think about it.
Most doctors and psychologists I have met have no experience whatsoever in tg problems. I have talked to quite a few that ask me questions about my crossdressing. And in most cases, the questions have been out in left field. Sometimes they do not have a clue.
I have never been to a therapist since I have been CDing ( I went to quite a few before)...so maybe it was the treatment I needed. Sometimes I think about seeking one out. But there does not seem to be any therapists knowledgeable about gender issues. At least where I live. And then my life is pretty good...but I do worry sometimes that the time I spend CDing could be used more constructively. I do not CD for Cding's sake. I am always doing things that I would do otherwise but while I CD. Still it takes longer to get ready to go out the door as a CD. I also spend more money than I would like on needed and unneeded items that could probably go to better things like education or my kids.
I guess we all struggle a bit with these things.
Love,
Michelia
"Genius is the recovery of childhood at will." Rimbaud
Wonderwho, this is the place to vent. Because when you do, you can really find out what is going on, and the girls here will let you know. Some will be right on, some will miss the point, as your ex therapist seems to do. His point is valid, and any obsession could be substituted for cross dressing. This is however indicates a very superficial understanding of what cross dressing is, and that is reason enough for looking for another therapist. He has lumped cross dressing in with a host of other behaviors with which it really has no relation. He is not aware. It is not that you are reacting to something you dont like, but you recognized the lax understanding this therapist has, and a seeming unability to take the effort to fully understand what it is that you/we do. It does not sound like he tied his statement in with any activities you are undertaking. I doubt he has a real grasp of what your total life male/female entails. Does he know how you live your male life. Does he know what you do when dressed, or what you do or dont do after you dress? Doubt it. A good therapist will develop these understandings before trying to give you a diagnosis. If you feel your cross dressing is interfering with your ability to carry on with your total life, both male and female, than he has something he should be discussing with you, but not making judgments, trying to fit your peg into one of his holes.
Be honest with your therapist. The vast majority of them really do want to help. You have to get them to understand just what kind of help you are looking for, then you both can find it. Keep accepting and enjoying this part of your life. I find it to be quite wonderful and and have become quite content with who I am, both of me...giggles.
Babes
He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
- Friedrich Nietzche -
I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.
Even if it is the "best of both worlds", the fact is that unless you transform permanently you are going to arrive back at the world of your male self in a few hours, so how is it possible that your femme self is allowing you to avoid anything???
This therapist was really not equipped to deal with your needs, frankly!
tina
I will admit right off the bat, that yes, I attempt to get the "best of both worlds," and fail miserably every time. Also...
Exactly.
I have decided to try to get a little of the best of the two worlds that my theripist thinks I want all of.
I am on my way to Sears to get a new impact wrench and while I am there I am getting a new bra and panties in spring colors.
I know that this is not what means but I like this concept better.
Wonderwho
.... and someday I too will become a butterfly screamed the catapiller!!!
Like several of the other girls here, I really do enjoy having the best of both worlds. So What's the problem? You really need another therapist, this one known nothing.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I myself would prefer the best of my world. I'm not quite sure just yet what that is, but I plan to keep exploring.
Annabelle
To continue with this thread, I have decided to let the whole therapy thing fall to the wayside. With spending more time with my wife and understanding how she feels I have come to a better understanding of myself. We talk more and yes there are still tears but the world is not as dark and the things that I have hidden for so long are now not as overwhelming. We love each other and I can ask no more of her than I would expect of myself.
So the end result is that the money I would have spent to "get my s**t togeather" can now be used to go on vacation togeather, someplace warm , sunny and with a nude beach. Yea, like with this body I would get caught dead on a nude beach, LOLBest to everyone and thanks for all the good words! Wonderwho
Last edited by Wonderwho; 03-30-2012 at 07:50 AM. Reason: If I could spell this would work!
.... and someday I too will become a butterfly screamed the catapiller!!!
Marym, from my professional viewpoint, said it well.
What the hell is wrong with looking for the best of both worlds. Seems like a perfectly good plan for life to me - and if he tinks there is something worng with that then he needs a therapist. I shamelessly enjoy the good things about being dressed - but also like being a man at work and as a father and also being attracdtive to women, etc. etc. I think he's probably just jealous cos he is too hung up on what is right and wrong to do what he would like to himself!
I think there are two types of anger.... 1. it is a response to being misunderstood and feeling like you wasted your effort or 2. It is a defense when someone hits a sore spot. If it is 1, find a better solution if is is 2, drop your defense get an open mind and try to understand what they were trying to tell you. From my personal experience, I hate people telling me about me, so I have to go and do it myself to figure it out and for example, if you are not out of your closet you have no experience knowing what it would be like to go out in the real world, so figure out a way to get some experience, then decide who you are...if you already know, then there is no need to consult with anyone.
Chickie
I agree.
I like me as I am. If I had GID, and needed to transition, I would definitely need some professional and medical help. I'm amazed that changing genders is so rediculously possible and accessible (well, it is at least in my corner of the planet). I know quite a few personally who have done SRS, and they are much happier people.
This may sound weird to some , but I enjoy this aspect of arbitrarily switching genders whenever I want. I enjoy shopping and going out en femme. This is so......me.
I have been aiming to be as androgynous , and gender neutral as I can possibly be so I can flip in and out of either gender. being one gender is not enough for me. After 36 years of denial (I'm much older than that, actually) I'm finally living life on my terms.
Last edited by NathalieX66; 03-30-2012 at 02:19 PM.
Hmmm...this therapist might not be a therapist for too long. I hate it when people put words into my mouth, or psychoanalyze me. Idk...I'm not a CD or TG, but I would be afraid I'd be the worst of both worlds. I'd be afraid that I kind of made a fail man and not a very good/attractive woman either. (Not saying this is true, but just saying how I might feel/what would be my worst fears). I'd be very irritated if someone just put words into my mouth and came up with explanations that weren't really founded. I like it when my doctors and just shut up for 5 minutes and let me tell them how I feel, instead of just telling me how they think I feel.
Go see someone else. I'm sorry this person wasted your time and money.
Last edited by Shananigans; 03-30-2012 at 02:55 PM.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
Posting Permissions
