Hi Emmi, I have faced similar challenges to what you describe and can empathise. My life choices have created a world that whilst offering the potential for some considerable change is nevertheless complex and I am not willing to give this world up to live as a full time female. My responsibilities to others outweigh my own feelings... that is just who I am. I also have age and early onset male pattern baldness working against me. I would always need a wig, even if I went for the full package, and then I would never feel really female (well as far as we can with surgery and HRT)...
So I am resigned to where I am and am just trying to make the most of it and figure out to make it work whilst giving Kaz more 'air time'...
I really do believe there is 'space' in between TS and TG that needs to be explored, and too heavy a focus on categorisation tends to cut off the dialogue and exploratory rhetoric that help many of us figure out who we are..