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Thread: Door Number Three?

  1. #1
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    Door Number Three?

    Hi, Guys and Girls!

    I'm on another forum besides this one every day. The other one is a professional one, very boring, no exciting stuff like Transgenderism. But yesterday I was editing my profile, and I noticed that I was listed as "Male". I said to myself, "Hmm! How did that happen? Somebody's a bit confused. Would it be me?"

    I got to thinking that that really wasn't right. So I thought about changing it and found that I couldn't do it. I could change over to "Female", but that didn't seem right, either. I thought about leaving it blank and found that I couldn't do that, either. On that forum, you're either male or female, end of the story.

    I was thinking that I really would like a third option--a "Door Number Three". I had an odd feeling about that forum, though. I'm a long-standing member and pretty well known, and to suddenly change my gender--if I had the chance to--would be akin to outing myself. You do get to know people on forums in a way, even if you don't actually meet them personally. So to change my listed gender would in a way change people's view of me.

    I was thinking, though, if I were joining a new forum these days, I really would like a third choice. Preferably "Transgender", but I could settle for leaving it blank, or choosing "Other" or "Neither". A year ago, this question wouldn't have arisen in my mind. But things have changed now, and my perception of myself is totally different. Neither "Male" nor "Female" suits me any more.

    What about the rest of you? Would you like to have a third option, or would the traditional "male/female" choice suit you?

    Best wishes, Annabelle

  2. #2
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I would go with TG if offered the choice as door number 3.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  3. #3
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
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    Does the software allow just any descriptor? If so, then you could enter N/A for not applicable and let them figure it out.

  4. #4
    Member katie_barns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laura912 View Post
    Does the software allow just any descriptor? If so, then you could enter N/A for not applicable and let them figure it out.

    I love it !!!!!!
    I have rarely seen any other options, except Male/Female. But it would be nice to have a Door #3.

  5. #5
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
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    A perfect example of the binary world we live in! You must be M or F!
    Hugs, Carole

  6. #6
    Swans have more fun! sandra-leigh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Annabelle Larousse View Post
    I was thinking that I really would like a third option--a "Door Number Three".
    Facebook is bad about this: if you do not list your legal sex then FB can close your account and even sue you (and you could even be charged with a Felony in the USA.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Annabelle Larousse View Post
    I had an odd feeling about that forum, though. I'm a long-standing member and pretty well known, and to suddenly change my gender--if I had the chance to--would be akin to outing myself. You do get to know people on forums in a way, even if you don't actually meet them personally. So to change my listed gender would in a way change people's view of me.
    Yes, I know what you mean. The people on the computer forum that I am heavily involved in would be more than a little surprised if I changed my name there from my (distinctly male) name to a female one. Only one of the regular contributors there is (known to be) female. For whatever reason, the public face of that particular kind of computing is almost entirely male.

    On the other hand, my status within that computer forum is solid enough that for me to change to public female gender would probably be a "brave statement", interpreted as a leadership move. At least amongst those who care about more than getting their homework done. But Yes, it could hurt my opportunities to get consulting work.

  7. #7
    Full-Time Duality NathalieX66's Avatar
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    Gender fluid

    Gender non-binary


    That being said , the next time I run across a form or application with two boxes, male or female, I'm going to pen a third box and write whatever I feel like. :D

  8. #8
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    I like to stick to reality. Physically, I'm male. Everything else that I write will let people know more about me. But it's a disservice to others not to be up front with them; I dealt with that far too much on the crossdresser dating site, where 99% of physical males list their sex as female. There was no way to search for a GG, even for friendship purposes only. I'm a male. I may wear female clothing, and have some female characteristics and personality traits, but I'm a male and am honest enough not to try to fool myself or anyone else, either with falsehoods or being vague.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by NathalieX66 View Post
    Gender fluid

    Gender non-binary
    I'm glad to see, from all these replies, that it's not just me.

    I'm not sure about "Gender Fluid". They might just say, "Are you saying you're a drip then?" But "Gender non-binary" I like. By the time they figure that one out, you could be miles away.

    Annabelle

  10. #10
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    A lot of surveys have a choice of "Choose Not to Answer" as it relates to sex, age and income. If it's a professional forum I do not know why they would want to know sexual identity anyway. Does it serve a purpose?

  11. #11
    Complex Lolita...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Annabelle Larousse
    What about the rest of you? Would you like to have a third option, or would the traditional "male/female" choice suit you?
    [SIZE="2"]I’ll gladly choose MALE, and dress against my gender. I remain male in all but appearance, if only to put everyone at ease and preserve my secretive life. It’s fun being a boy, because you can dress like a girl, set yourself apart from other boys, and modify the original mindset...
    [/SIZE]

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by sometimes_miss View Post
    I like to stick to reality. Physically, I'm male. Everything else that I write will let people know more about me. But it's a disservice to others not to be up front with them. . .
    Well, I like to stick to reality, too, and "physically" isn't all there is to reality. If, e.g., I tell a woman I'm "male" and don't mention the "TG" part, am I being upfront with her?

    It's a question of how you perceive yourself. And for me, my TGism is such an integral part of me that I don't see it as dishonest to call myself that. Whether I'm in drab or en femme, if someone asks, I'd prefer to say, "I'm TG". And we can take it from there. Being TG might be more complicated than being male or female, but it is a part of my reality. I certainly wouldn't call myself "female" or anything else with the intent to mislead someone.

    Best wishes, Annabelle

  13. #13
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    Well my choice is plainely female! But if it ask male or female, then just put YES! Hugs!
    If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:

  14. #14
    Lara
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    Quote Originally Posted by carhill2mn View Post
    A perfect example of the binary world we live in! You must be M or F!
    I am an MTF and don't have much problems with the binary, but still it must change because it doesn't reflect reality.

  15. #15
    Junior Member Brigid's Avatar
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    On physical forms you can just "forget" to fill in the box. When it's on the computer it's either or. It just makes me want to scream "what difference does it make?" Yes I feel like a third gender.

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