Self acceptance can be a *******. You are describing where I was three years ago. As things progressed I had to accept myself for who I am, and that is a woman in a mans body. Or else I would loose my mind. So with the help of a gender therapist I am beginning to live my life again rather than just going through the motions of living. This does include going 24 7 in the near future.
I have not had a steady relationship with a woman for many years now. So I do understand how you feel. But perhapse now is not a good time for you mentally to enter into a relationship. Just a thought.
We do what we need to do to survive.
