Kitty,
You said that he say the local expert on gender issues. I have found, both from talking to others and from my own experience, that some of these experts are quacks. Their business is the gender business. If they don't have paying clients, they don't eat. The best way to have paying clients is to tell them what they want to hear. Saying, "Go home. Don't obsess over your crossdressing, just do a little once in a while. Compromise with your wife; be a good boy." does not bring home any bacon. The expert has an out, too. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, knows the right things, the textbook things to say to a therapist to be diagnosed GID. You can't help but to know. There are web sites everywhere with the necessary information.
You need to find an unbiased person to help both of your save you marriage.
Warmest regards,
Christina Nicole
