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  1. #1
    Average Young Man
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eryn View Post
    Of course, the main rule is that the other rules are flexible! They are more attitudes than a set of instructions.
    Well nevertheless it is fascinating. Just things one would think is a little off or on point or whatever. I understand it's different for everyone, but the more the suggestions, the more of a litter I have to pick from on which I want to go by. Sure a lot better than guessing and starting from scratch or even worse those famous stereotypes.
    The name's Adam. 19 year old FtM in Philly USA. Looking for friends and confidence.[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]

  2. #2
    Diamond Member Persephone's Avatar
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    Adam,

    I asked my spouse what she thought some useful differences might be and she came up with two.

    Be more agressive.

    Do not admire, coo at, nor play with other people's children, especially babies. Her comment was that this was two-fold advice. First of all, it isn't something guys do, and second, you don't want to be thought to be a pedophile.

    Hugs,
    Persephone.
    "If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.

    "If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)

    -.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).

  3. #3
    Average Young Man
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    Quote Originally Posted by Persephone View Post
    Adam,

    I asked my spouse what she thought some useful differences might be and she came up with two.

    Be more agressive.

    Do not admire, coo at, nor play with other people's children, especially babies. Her comment was that this was two-fold advice. First of all, it isn't something guys do, and second, you don't want to be thought to be a pedophile.

    Hugs,
    Persephone.
    Ha! I don't really want to be thought of as a pedophile either! Not really the persona I'm trying to achieve. And thanks for asking her for me. I appreciate it a lot. I'll keep the aggression levels up but not to piss anyone off. Not anyone important anyway Just kidding. But thank you very much.
    Best,
    Adam
    The name's Adam. 19 year old FtM in Philly USA. Looking for friends and confidence.[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Persephone View Post
    Adam,

    I asked my spouse what she thought some useful differences might be and she came up with two.

    Be more agressive.

    Do not admire, coo at, nor play with other people's children, especially babies. Her comment was that this was two-fold advice. First of all, it isn't something guys do, and second, you don't want to be thought to be a pedophile.

    Hugs,
    Persephone.
    This one is oh so true. A man cannot coo or admire a little child anywhere in public. But you can if you have a woman with you, like as a couple, then's it's usually ok.

    No eye contact with men in public, I learned this one many times the hard way my self. If eye contact is accidentally made you just nod and keep walking.

    If you are with someone at the grocery store or wal-mart, etc. And you're with another person and you're following them with the buggy, while they shop, as a man you lean over, or rest your forearms on the buggy as you push it in a lazy unhurried style. When the buggy stops, you continue to lean on it there.

    Keep your wallet in your back left pocket.


    While driving your car, and if you have a stick in the console, whether it be a straight or automatic, keep your left hand at 11:00and your right hand over the gear knob.

    When you're a guest at someone's house, after the greeting and you're asked to sit, then sit on the couch or love seat or any chair with your butt on the very edge and leaning forward with left elbow on left knee and left hand over to the right knee, and right elbow on right knee with chin in right palm. Or if you want to relax, then lean on back, then put your right ankle over your left knee.


    Hold your beer bottle by the main body of the bottle and not by the neck.



    If you have an itch in a private place, then scratch it without regards to who may see you.



    Practice to let the word "yeah" replace the word "yes" unless it is followed with "sir or Maam".


    If you go fishing, put your own worm on the hook, plus your fishing partner if it's a GG.


    If you're really digging a song, you play air guitar.


    If you see a ruckous or an arguement out in public, like a bar or concert or anywhere, and the aggressor then leaves, you turn to your friends and say, "I'd like to see that M*Fer say that to me".


    Oh yeah, and when you pee at the house, leave the toilet seat up.
    Last edited by Tara D. Rose; 08-06-2012 at 10:39 PM.

  5. #5
    Average Young Man
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    Thanks Tara for the volume of imput. Much of it is stereotypes. But I still like hearing em. So that I can adapt accordingly upon my own terms. And give my best shot at being a gentleman. When around the girls that is. That one about the wallet made me laugh. It's so specific. If I put it in the right back pocket do I look femm or whatever you call it? Lol, I'm just playin. Thanks Tara!

    P.S. I'm just going to stop acknowledging children all together so I don't get arrested lol.
    The name's Adam. 19 year old FtM in Philly USA. Looking for friends and confidence.[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]

  6. #6
    Silver Member DebbieL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tara D. Rose View Post
    This one is oh so true. A man cannot coo or admire a little child anywhere in public. But you can if you have a woman with you, like as a couple, then's it's usually ok.
    You can complement the PARENTS on their wonderful child, and say how smart or clever he is. Don't call a boy cute, or a girl beautiful.

    No eye contact with men in public, I learned this one many times the hard way my self. If eye contact is accidentally made you just nod and keep walking.
    Actually you ALWAYS look a man in the eyes and nod. It's actually a bow, it acknowledges his space and his "turf", NOT doing it is a sign of disrespect. Men always look each other in the eye and nod to acknowledge respect for each other. Women always keep eyes forward and glance sideways so as not to attract unwanted attention.

    When watching, thing "march" rather than walk. Men walking alone take larger steps but do not move their hips, or anything above. Imagine you are holding a rifle and you don't want the drill sergeant to see it and nail you for walking like a sissy.

    This one seems strange, but it's a give-away to women. You should check them out, starting from the feet up, pause at the breasts for at least 1 second, and THEN look at their eyes. Men do it all the time, and can't really help themselves. Instinctively, they want to check out physical appearance before making eye contact.

    Once you start a conversation, look only at eyes, but when eye contact is broken by her, drop to the breasts and immediately go back to the eyes, she will assume you are a "typical man", it is also a complement that you can't resist, yet keep going back to her eyes. You don't want to stare at her breasts, that will make her think you are a jerk.

    If you are with someone at the grocery store or wal-mart, etc. And you're with another person and you're following them with the buggy, while they shop, as a man you lean over, or rest your forearms on the buggy as you push it in a lazy unhurried style. When the buggy stops, you continue to lean on it there.
    Men never worry about the size of their butts, or even if their crack is showing. Normally the pants always hide all shape. You can bend over the cart, or lean on the cart. Most men hate shopping, and treat it like a burdon. Furthermore, if they have beer bellies, standing and walking slowly for extended periods of time gives them back-aches. Walking through the grocery store or the women's wear section standing straight up and looking too closely at favorite or popular styles is a give-away that you are either gay, or gender-distressed. You might be misread as MtF but it does get attention.

    Keep your wallet in your back left pocket.
    Either back pocket works. Again, men never worry about the size of their buts, even if they have big butts. Ideally, the wallet will leave an imprint, so that it can be seen in the jeans, but cannot be picked without being detected.

    In a similar note, men are always aware of their surroundings, conditioned by constant threats and the period of violence that occurs in the earliest stages of puberty. It never goes away. As the man, those around you must sense that you are aware of everyone within a 10 foot radius, men and women, and aware of anything that should be avoided so that you can diffuse the situation before confrontation (for example, the nod to show respect).

    When shaking hands with a man, you should always hold your hand straight vertical, to show that you are equal, grasp it firmly but not hard enough to cause pain. When shaking hands with a woman, you put your hand under hers, and support it, holding it more gently. If she grasps firmly and turns it to the side, then shake like you would with a man.

    While driving your car, and if you have a stick in the console, whether it be a straight or automatic, keep your left hand at 11:00and your right hand over the gear knob.
    You don't have to keep the hand on the shift, but you want to show that you are prepared for anything by having the left hand at 11, or the right hand at 1. The other hand can be lower. The thing you don't want to do is put both hands high on the wheel, because it will push your breasts up. Men with man-boobs are very self-conscious about this, as well as men with large muscular pectoral muscles. They don't want others to see or think "breast".

    When you're a guest at someone's house, after the greeting and you're asked to sit, then sit on the couch or love seat or any chair with your butt on the very edge and leaning forward with left elbow on left knee and left hand over to the right knee, and right elbow on right knee with chin in right palm. Or if you want to relax, then lean on back, then put your right ankle over your left knee.
    Men typically "plop" into a chair or couch, rather than sitting carefully, and they usually try to locate furniture they are confident can take the "plop". Normally, you bend you knees and when you thighs are at about 45 degrees, you drop quickly. Men don't take ballet or gymnastics, and have more of their weight in their waist and shoulders, which makes it harder for them to balance.

    Men normally have testicles which will be painfully squeezed if they cross their legs at the knees too tightly. You can cross you legs at the knees, but just at the knees, not further up the thighs. If you can, be careful not to point the bottom of your feet or shoes at anyone. Especially for Muslims and Hindus, this is an insult, and they may be offended if you point your sole at them. You can point you toes slightly, but not fully. Your feet should always have an angle.


    Hold your beer bottle by the main body of the bottle and not by the neck.
    A key element of "masculinity" is that from the time they are about 5-6 years old, the ultimate put-down and also a threat, is to be a "Sissy". If you get that label at that age, it's the queue for the other boys to beat you up after school. That combination of verbal queue followed by the physical abuse becomes a very powerful conditioning tool - not only for those who experience it, but also to those who observe it.

    One of the key distinctions of growing up male is violence. Boys are told not to hit girls, but they can beat the crap out of each other. By middle school, its "you've got to fight to be a man". Most male mammals engage in various forms of physical contests to establish diminance, superiority, and rank within the pack, tribe, or troupe. Alpha males have first choice of breeding rights, first choice of females. Since humans are monogamous (for the most part), alpha males take first choice, and the mates are chosen based on the ranking among the males, working down the ranks. Often, the omega male - the lowest on the totem pole becomes the "errand boy" or the "clown", and is discouraged from even trying to make moves on the remaining girls if any remain.

    [QUOTE]If you have an itch in a private place, then scratch it without regards to who may see you.[QUOTE/]

    Keep in mind that most men wear jocky shorts, aka briefs. These are usually a thick absorbent cotton, designed to absorb the extra drops of urine that are secreted as the man returns the penis after urinating. It usually leaves a few drops right next to the testes. The water vapor condenses resulting in a combination of acid and ammonia that is in direct contact with some of the most sensitive parts of male anatomy. The sensation is almost like an ant-bite in those most sensitive areas between your legs. Imagine putting several drops of acid on the hood and labia, then putting some nice absorbent cotton - that holds the acid and keeps it nice and moist and stinging - all day long, and gets refreshed every time you urinate.

    Normally, men will respond to the "bite" as quickly and discreetly as possible, a quick "pinch" - to "kill the ant that's biting you".

    Practice to let the word "yeah" replace the word "yes" unless it is followed with "sir or Maam".
    The key word for men is "Be cool", don't express too much emotion, and don't use "Sissy Words". It's OK to say something like "That's a pretty dress, it looks nice on you", but not OK to say "What a lovely dress, it really suits your figure". Other flag words, "Exquisite", "Delightful", "Beautiful", "Elegant", anything French.

    Men also use a very limited range of voice, with very little variation of pitch, typically no more than a fifth musically. Women and gay men will often exceed an octave, and often swing through that octave twice in the same sentence. Men will raise their pitch for emphasis, but only slightly. Raising pitch too much indicates frustration, it signals to other men that you have lost control of the situation and are refusing to accept your lowered status but are unable to back it up.

    Men also use far fewer words. Economy of words is a way to keep from losing control. Conversations are focused on actions, opinions, and positions. Feelings are deliberately avoided most of the time. Admitting that you were upset - to other men - is a sign of weakness, vulnerability. You can say "I don't like", "I hate it when...", or "I love it when...". These are terms for setting boundries, to state what you will and won't accept, what you expect of others, and what they can expect of you. Sharing feelings about people is something you can do with members of the opposite sex, and romantic interests, but is not something men would do with each other. Gossip in girl-world is just fun ways to bond. Gossip in guy-world can very quickly turn into violent confrontation for teens, and can have economic, social, or political consequences.

    If you go fishing, put your own worm on the hook, plus your fishing partner if it's a GG.
    Generally, guys don't even talk about the details like worms on hook, or baiting the hook, the conversation focuses on the victories or defeats, and the key turning points in the game. Men want to relive the moments when they felt most powerful and when their opponent was vulnerable and they exploited that vulnerability. Most men's sports and athletic training is based on one person or team competing directly against another person or team, where one MUST win and the other MUST lose. This was originally intended as part of the "President's council on physical fitness" to be training for military duty. The key objective was to make sure that by the time a boy was 18 years old, he would understand the notion of "Kill or be Killed" and could trained to kill ANYONE on command, including other men, women, children, even babies. This was because the military was aware that soldiers who did not obey such orders were often killed by children who threw hand grenades into the jeep or helicopter, the baby is wrapped with a claymore mine that will kill everyone within 200 feet when the bundle is moved, and the woman who seems to want to seduce the "GI Joe" - is really out to take him prisoner so he can be interrogated by the enemy, then killed.

    If you see a ruckous or an arguement out in public, like a bar or concert or anywhere, and the aggressor then leaves, you turn to your friends and say, "I'd like to see that M*Fer say that to me".
    Actually, you DON'T want to say that. Generally, in bars, especially later in the evening, there will always be more than a few men in the bars who want to

    You can nod to your friends and say, quietly "What a jerk", quietly. You can make it clear that you don't condone the behavior (setting boundries), but don't turn it into an invitation for a fight with the next angry drunk - unless you are fully prepared to back it up, even to the point where one of you is unconscious. If someone does hit you, you need to be aware of your consequences. If you are there with a woman and you don't get up, you are allowing him to "move in", even if he's crazy, and do whatever he wants with her, until someone else confronts him. She will hate you if you can't protect her from someone who is really abusive. If you get up and fight back, you might lose, he might knock you out cold, but you will be respected by those who are watching. They will only help you AFTER you are no longer ABLE to get up.


    Oh yeah, and when you pee at the house, leave the toilet seat up.
    In the men's room, you should go directly past the urinals and wait for the next available stall. Make sure you make some sort of noise, a fart or grunt at least, so that people with THINK you are going BM. Use more toilet paper than you would as a woman, and make sure that you do flush it. If there is fluid of any kind on the seat, wipe it down with toilet paper, and make sure NOT to complain about the disgusting behavior. The only thing worse than a man who doesn't put the toilet seat DOWN when he's done going pee, is a man who doesn't put the seat UP BEFORE he starts going pee, and pees all over the seat. Not uncommon to see that in most public men's rooms, at least once a week, especially in movie theaters or road-side rest stops. One thing you should NEVER do is "Squat" with the seat down. If you use a seat cover, or make one from TP, make sure you flush it.

    Other thing, NEVER speak to ANYONE in a men's room. Men avoid talking to other men in the men's room, because they are perceived as being gays looking for "fun" in the handicapped stall. We never meet them, but we read about them on the walls in nearly every stall. The writing is just homophobia, but the stigma and the fear is almost real.

    Putting the seat up is only good if they hear the "water-fall" sound effects. Of course, there should also be splatter and bits of hair on the side of the bowel. The first second or two are very unpredictable. If you sit, then leave the seat down, but make some kind of noise like you are going #2. Normally, men ONLY sit when going #2, and will habitually TRY to #2 even if all they have in them is #1.

    I've tried to describe not only the behaviors, but also the conditioning that goes into those behaviors. These are so deeply and fundamentally impressed that most men aren't even aware of them by the time they are adults. For at least 50 centuries, men have fought wars, defended against predators, hunted, and competed with others to support women. For men, sex is an overwhelming drive that motivates them to accomplish whatever it takes to prove that they can provide for a woman and her children for as long as necessary - in order to convince her that he is a good sexual partner. Unfortunately, too often, they lose interest soon after they have had their sexual experience, especially if it didn't live up to his expectations, or if her behavior afterward made it seem like the price was to high.

    Men will go into the military, take hazardous duty where death is high probability, because they believe, and are told, that if they survive, they will have their choice of women. Often, before a key battle, the front-line troops were fixed up with girls who were willing to have sex with the soldiers - so that they would believe this lie. Most of those who survived were just sent to one battle after another, eventually being wounded severely or ending up with shell-shock, battle fatigue, or Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

  7. #7
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    Men don't think about their mannerisms - that's the trick - I would know.
    "Listen to pickles - she is wise beyond her species." - Krististeph

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