Hey hon, the advice of therapy is a sound one, all gender therapists and in fact all therapists work on the patient doctor confidentiality and what ever you share with the doctor remains hidden until you and only you decide otherwise.
Another thing is Gender Specialists will listen to your secret and even though it feels weird and freakish to you, he or she have heard it many times before, and approach it very calmly and respectfully, NO you will not be put on the spot.
However it is extremely important that you choose a gender Specialist with extensive experience to get to the bottom and truthfully, you haven't even scratched the surface.
Guilt you are feeling is your internal subconscious self confronting conscious mind creating enormous friction of contradicting feelings.
The immense subconscious experience is so hidden for our conscious minds that discovering its landscape can be utmost surprising. You have feelings and memories you don't even know the slightest ever happened, but when brought into conscious level, will marvel at how you could have placed it in the subconscious in the first place.
That is how it works, to uncover it though, you need another, you can not be a passenger and a driver at the same time.
Good luck
