Jamie, thank you for the thoughtful reply. And I apologize if mine seemed a bit terse but seriously, this is far from a black & white issue for many of us.
The easiest way for me to describe my POV is that I'm all good with the gender binary society we live in, I was simply drafted to the wrong team. My out & about life is tempered by the fact that the closer I get to home, the more closeted it becomes. This is not so much about me, it's all about my family. Hence my elephant as a metaphor for all of the things I have done to my appearance, not only to enhance my presentation when in the real world but more importantly, to help manage my own GID. These things when taken together put me out there at risk for being perceived as TG.
I have admitted elsewhere that it has taken a bit of effort to get my head around the mixed presentation individuals such as yourself and others you describe. Yes, we are all quite different when it comes to POV and practice IRL. Your angle is different from that of a CD'er who's might be different from a "middle-pather" (whether that MP self-identifies as CD or TS) which of course is much different from that of the transitioning TS, and so on. While I think I can "get" where your POV is coming from, I don't think it does much for the cause of other TG individuals who are out & about because really, it's apples & oranges. I'm not looking for a blurring of the gender lines. I don't look at other men and think they have too few fashion choices or that they need to wear makeup or nail polish. They are just fine the way they are, both aesthetically and the fact they are perfectly content being...men. The gender binary makes sense for most. We will always be outliers to some extent.
One final point. I'm guessing your being incredulous about someone like me who chooses not to present a colored pedi while presenting as a male might be similar to my feelings about anyone who chooses not to shave their legs. Having gone there without the world exploding (on both of our fronts), it's hard to imagine why anyone else wouldn't make the exact same choice. The difference is that everyone's personal situation is different and what works for you or I might not work so well for them. I could paint my toes today for the world to see and it might end up being "meh" to everyone else.
Or it might just be the straw that broke the elephant's back.
