But, Cheryl, doesn't familiarity breed something?:DOriginally Posted by Cheryl T
Hi, Wild! There are some people saying here that they don't care what other people think of them. I personally think that we have to care in some ways. It depends on who you're dealing with because I think there are different levels of acceptance.
One would be in casual encounters with strangers. E.g., you're out shopping, you run into various people here and there, who may possibly notice you for a couple of seconds and then may well never see you again for the rest of their lives. With those people you don't have to care what they think of you. With such people acceptance means that they simply leave you alone to go about your business.
The next level up would be not so casual encounters with strangers. E.g., it might be an SA in a place where you're shopping. Acceptance there would mean that he/she treats you the way they would any other customer. I personally care what they think of me because if they're nice to me, it makes shopping much more fun. If they're not so nice to you, no big deal, you can shake it off and maybe you shop somewhere else next time.
The next level up would be sustained encounters with non-strangers. Maybe you're out in a pub, e.g., with people that you plan to spend the evening with. Or maybe they're colleagues you see every day. With them again, acceptance means that they treat you like they would anybody else.
And the next level is people you're close to--family or friends. And there, acceptance to my mind is something deeper. Because they perhaps have a glimpse of what you truly are, and they don't love you any the less for that. This is where I'm hurting just a bit these days. A while back I came out to my son, and though he's accepted me on one level, he has yet to accept me on another. That is, he hasn't rejected me, we're still friends. But on the other hand, he doesn't want to talk about my TGism, he apparently doesn't want to know anything about it. Which means that he hasn't given me the deep acceptance that you'd like to have from those you love. Acceptance there means that he knows all about me, he sees my TGism for what it is, and he's comfortable with it. That's asking a lot, and it may be a long time before he gets to that point. I'm not pushing him. It took me a long time to get to that point, so it's no surprise if he needs some time as well.
As to how we persuade society to accept us, that's what my signature is about:
If we consider how it is only by groping our way through a fog that we become familiar with most of the things we meet with, we will surely conclude that if they come to seem less strange to us, it is not because we gain an understanding of them, but rather simply because we get used to them. Montaigne, Vol. 1, XXVI
Best wishes, Annabelle
Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
