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Thread: Did I just see a crossdresser?

  1. #1
    Member CarleyR's Avatar
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    Did I just see a crossdresser?

    A lot of the discussion here is about whether others recognize us as crossdressers. Many of us hope to avoid detection, either because of passability, or because others aren't looking that closely.

    I think we should turn the question around: do WE recognize crossdressers in public?

    I know in the past I haven't noticed some crossdressers. (My wife told me about them, because she noticed). Today, at an airport, thinking about this issue, I noticed one woman in line who I wondered about. Between her high boots and her skirt, her legs looked rough. Then I looked at her face and it too seemed rougher than normal for a female, and her hair seemed compatible with being a wig. She was alone, and while not stiff, wasn't displaying female fluidity of movement. CD or GG? Frankly, I have no idea. Maybe I'm not a good CD-spotter.

    What about you? Have you noticed crossdressers in public? If so what lessons do you have for the rest of us from those spottings?

  2. #2
    Chickie Chickhe's Avatar
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    Yes, a few, I took their picture posted it online and called out to them! ...I dunno, TG spotting, really? Just being sarcastic, I have seen a few and the only thing to keep in mind is just like you and I they are regular people trying to lead a happy life so they are best to be left alone to do their own thing. I guess in a way it was nice to see around my own town because it lets me know I'm not alone...although it made me also think about what it would be like to live full time...maybe having to deal with being 'spotted' and not having the time to do a perfect makeup job every day. I hold a very high respect for anyone who can do it full time (I guess also anyone who can go out in public at all for that matter). It takes a lot of courage and I think being in the know, we can spot each other more often than others.
    Chickie

  3. #3
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    Despite what MANY folks here claim, it IS NOT POSSIBLE to be 100 Percent sure about someone's sexuality just from watching them. END OF STORY. And if folks THINK they can tell because of how someone walks or talks? Wrong AGAIN.

    And claiming it over and over, isn't going to change that.

    IF some should claim otherwise, come to Florida, land of perpetual skin and skimpy clothing and then try your luck.

    I think very few folks go about their daily lives "looking for CDers" except CDers.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    I frankly don't pay much attention to others! I like to let people live their own life as they see fit as I live mine as I see fit!
    If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:

  5. #5
    Swans have more fun! sandra-leigh's Avatar
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    In "live" situations, I have never had a cross-dresser pointed out to me whom I had not already noticed. I do not consider myself to have more "perceptive powers" than average, and am not so good at those "male or female?" photo quizzes, and I don't tend to pay a lot of attention to people in the crowd. I don't consider picking out the cross-dressers to be at all a "knack" or skill of mine. More like now that I know that cross-dressing exists and have seen some, my brain does not automatically censor out and "re-imagine" what it is seeing to "fill in" the person being "really" female. It seems likely to me that I would fail to pick out the dressers with better skills.

    But do I recognize MTF crossdressers in public? Yes: I have noticed several here in Winnipeg. Not an "every day" occurrence, but enough that it isn't an "Oh Wow!" event.

    What I have difficulty with is the FTM, difficulty in trying to decide whether an individual is a "dyke" (mannish lesbian), or if they just happen to like wearing some styles that overlap, or if they are FTM crossdressers, or if they are FTM transgender, or if they are FTM TS who haven't (yet?) gone the testosterone-and-beard route -- or if the individual is gender-queer. I am seeing a fair number of gender-queer females, or perhaps they are FTM. I think the pharmacy assistant I usually deal with is probably gender-queer.

  6. #6
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarleyR View Post
    I think we should turn the question around: do WE recognize crossdressers in public?

    What about you? Have you noticed crossdressers in public? If so what lessons do you have for the rest of us from those spottings?
    I have a pet theory about this. I don't know if it is true, but I'll throw it out there anyway.

    Fact:
    Some people can read my SO right away, while others don't, or at least they give no indication they do. Some people have better developed gay-dars than others. I have a much better gay-dar than my SO. We've discussed this. :p I'm also quite adept at reading gender cues accurately. And, this is unrelated but along the same vein: some people can spot a lie immediately. They have an inner sense of all the body language that accompanies lying. While others don't. Still unrelated, some people have highly developed intuitions about others, they sense their feelings as if they were feeling the emotions themselves. While others cannot.

    My pet theory:
    My point with all of this is, there is a range in people's abilities to read things. With regards to gender, I think that CDers are more likely to fall among the people who aren't that good at reading gender cues, because of their own inner sense of ambiguous gender. This is not a good or a bad thing, it just is. When they see themselves, they see both, even if alternatively. Some CDers think they pass totally when they look at themselves in the mirror (or they're not sure), when others will read them. Some CDers have difficulty telling whether the GG in front of them is a man or not if she has short hair, a stocky body, is not wearing makeup and is wearing pants. And some CDers are convinced the other CDers they see in pics look totally like GGs, when (even though they are attractive and feminine looking), they don't.

    If this sounds harsh, I'm sorry. I'm not wanting to be mean, just objective. And I've fallen prey to this phenomena myself, many years ago. I was not able to see something that others were able to see quite well, unrelated to gender.
    Last edited by ReineD; 10-23-2012 at 01:55 AM.
    Reine

  7. #7
    naughty nurse Billie Jean's Avatar
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    The only way I could say for sure would be to give the Crodile Dundee test. Just kidding. I would need to ask but I wouldn't want to embarass anyone, especially myself. Billie Jean

  8. #8
    Member AllisontheGoddess's Avatar
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    I've never seen another CD except me in public -- not even on Halloween :/

  9. #9
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi,

    Ill direct that ? to my self, you would not see in my face a female looking at you. though im a female / woman my facial features are very male looking, so would you come up to me & say hi. or would you watch me in how i interact with others ,

    posible how i walk so youd look harder at my manisms would you not, hands . not sure on that they are not much different than some of my women friends, adams apple dought you see much there, more like a female voice well .... im not sure youd have to hear me to comment on that, or ask Snow White, or Tara D Rose what they think. as i rang them up yesterday, what other give aways, no makeup,
    I really think youd see some mixed details yet over all i think youd see a woman.as in my avatra,

    Like to hear what you think. would be nice,

    You have to remember im intersexed, so there is a few telltail things going on......

    There is a point that Reine has said , the no makeup. well i dont ....need .... it, i cream my face in the morning , when out lippy & because of being burnt years ago i have a scar on my right side of my face so i use eyebrow liner, & thats it,

    i do have women who look at me & have said what lovely skin you have its olive apart from my burn .
    im 65 so give me a bit of slack ,


    ...noeleena...
    Last edited by noeleena; 10-23-2012 at 04:16 AM.

  10. #10
    Shoes, a woman's passion! debbeelee1's Avatar
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    One time I was putting my things on the counter at Wallmart to check out in male mode and a fairly nice looking woman who I was 90% sure was a crossdresser got in line behind me. I smiled and said something like "Hello, you look nice". She smiled back and said "Thank you!". Either way, I think I made her day without being overly intrusive!
    Hugs and kisses,
    Debbee! :fairy3:

  11. #11
    Member Matia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    II think that CDers are more likely to fall among the people who aren't that good at reading gender cues, because of their own inner sense of ambiguous gender. This is not a good or a bad thing, it just is. When they see themselves, they see both, even if alternatively. Some CDers think they pass totally when they look at themselves in the mirror (or they're not sure), when others will read them.
    my experience is, that opening up to my crossdressing actually made me much more aware of the differences and it's getting "better". Before, if I saw a tg with a wig, I was mainly looking at the face and the hair - if this was made well, i couldn't tell it's not a girl and it made me very excited. In time my perception of what makes girl a girl changed a lot. Before, if I saw boobs I thought - female.. later you start recognise more details, hips, shoulders, hands. Now when I try to look as a girl, I am very aware of my way of walking / moving and how painfully different it is for man and women.. Just how you hold your arms/elbows compared to girls etc, trying to mimick this is not easy . I am just saying this, because I don't think that CDs have an ambigious way of looking at gender, in fact, I think that the quest for being a perfect woman actually opens eyes

  12. #12
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I think the old adage, "takes on to know one" sometimes is true.
    I've been shopping with my wife and she misses a sister, but I spot her. Sometimes there are "tells"...the outfit is a bit out of place for where we are, the makeup is a bit too much, or something like that. Sometimes the thing that draws attention has nothing to do with how you dress. In one case my eye was drawn to her because she was so much taller than the woman she was with. First I noticed the height, then I noticed the little things that others might miss. I never ever approach and say anything. I wouldn't want that to happen to me with crowds around. A little knowing smile or a wink is one thing...
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  13. #13
    Girliegirl Jillian Faith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    I have a pet theory about this. I don't know if it is true, but I'll throw it out there anyway.

    Fact:
    Some people can read my SO right away, while others don't, or at least they give no indication they do. Some people have better developed gay-dars than others. I have a much better gay-dar than my SO. We've discussed this. :p I'm also quite adept at reading gender cues accurately. And, this is unrelated but along the same vein: some people can spot a lie immediately. They have an inner sense of all the body language that accompanies lying. While others don't. Still unrelated, some people have highly developed intuitions about others, they sense their feelings as if they were feeling the emotions themselves. While others cannot.

    My pet theory:
    My point with all of this is, there is a range in people's abilities to read things. With regards to gender, I think that CDers are more likely to fall among the people who aren't that good at reading gender cues, because of their own inner sense of ambiguous gender. This is not a good or a bad thing, it just is. When they see themselves, they see both, even if alternatively. Some CDers think they pass totally when they look at themselves in the mirror (or they're not sure), when others will read them. Some CDers have difficulty telling whether the GG in front of them is a man or not if she has short hair, a stocky body, is not wearing makeup and is wearing pants. And some CDers are convinced the other CDers they see in pics look totally like GGs, when (even though they are attractive and feminine looking), they don't.

    If this sounds harsh, I'm sorry. I'm not wanting to be mean, just objective. And I've fallen prey to this phenomena myself, many years ago. I was not able to see something that others were able to see quite well, unrelated to gender.
    Reine I think you hit the nail on the head as evidenced on this very site each and every day

  14. #14
    closet dresser Melissa73's Avatar
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    idk if i ever have! however recently i went to Target (right before closing) and i was checking out the clearance sales.... and some bikinis (since its off season), when i saw this man across the asle looking at purses and belts. We saw onew another and kinda split in opposite directions. but in my mind i was thinking he was a sister.

  15. #15
    Silver Member linda allen's Avatar
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    I have seen what I'm sure was a MtF at the cosmetology school (a student practicing). She had a nice rack and displayed it proudly but she was otherwise skinny, over six feet tall and had a prominent adams apple. I guess she was a work in progress.

    Other than that, I have seen only a couple women that I suspected were CDers in my lifetime and I've bee around quite a while. There's no way to be sure (except for an obvious 5 o'clock shadow), and it would be pretty embarassing to walk up to someone and say "That's a nice job of crossdressing there." and then find out she is a GG.
    [SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda

  16. #16
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I make eye contact with women all the time and smile as an acknowledgement. The contact is not usually enough to read the person unless there is beard shadow. Other clues are tall or broad shoulders, gangly walk or other non feminine actions. These are not always positive and I probably assume I have read only about twenty percent of those women with manly mannerisms.
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  17. #17
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I've seen a few women lately in public that I suspected to be CD because their butt was rather small. But getting a closer look I found that I was wrong.

  18. #18
    Gold Member ~Joanne~'s Avatar
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    I have seen a sister pumping gas while I was a manager, she paid at the pump and then was gone. I think I may have seen one at the shoe store but she was really well done up and out to her daughters if she was. Other than these two instances (one I am not sure about) I have never seen another girl anywhere. Then again, when I am out I am not looking either. Usually minding my own business and doing whatever it is I am doing at the time
    Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!

  19. #19
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    I have seen other cross dressers out in public, but not in the city where I live (I think I'm alone here). When I do see someone that I've read, I generally think "Nice!" and then a minute later my brain is on other subjects. I'm not on "active search" for this though, if I see it, I see it, but I don't really think of it as "out of the ordinary" (unless it happens in my town, which is west of Austin - then I'd be very surprised).

  20. #20
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    It doesn't not matter to me - I see people out and about doing what needs to be done (I do not think much about their sex or gender presentation - they simply get a smile from me)

  21. #21
    Senior Member michelleddg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by debbeelee1 View Post
    One time I was putting my things on the counter at Wallmart to check out in male mode and a fairly nice looking woman who I was 90% sure was a crossdresser got in line behind me. I smiled and said something like "Hello, you look nice". She smiled back and said "Thank you!". Either way, I think I made her day without being overly intrusive!
    Debbee nailed it. It's always OK to just say "You look nice!" Then you've made someone's day be it a sister or a GG. I've also had this: At the start of a MAC makeover a young man walked up and said "Hi, I'm Carla, you're going to look great when they're done with you." Hugs, Michelle

  22. #22
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    I have seen quite a few CDers out and about. I think I am very good at spotting them. Except for one time I have never approached them without their permission. I have also seen some very masculine looking women. There seems to always be a number of things that identifies them either way. I usually glance at everyone that comes my way and I don't think I've ever been fooled in my adult life although I don't go out of my way one way or another.

  23. #23
    Transgirl ~Serena~'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    I have a pet theory about this. I don't know if it is true, but I'll throw it out there anyway.

    Fact:
    Some people can read my SO right away, while others don't, or at least they give no indication they do. Some people have better developed gay-dars than others. I have a much better gay-dar than my SO. We've discussed this. :p I'm also quite adept at reading gender cues accurately. And, this is unrelated but along the same vein: some people can spot a lie immediately. They have an inner sense of all the body language that accompanies lying. While others don't. Still unrelated, some people have highly developed intuitions about others, they sense their feelings as if they were feeling the emotions themselves. While others cannot.

    My pet theory:
    My point with all of this is, there is a range in people's abilities to read things. With regards to gender, I think that CDers are more likely to fall among the people who aren't that good at reading gender cues, because of their own inner sense of ambiguous gender. This is not a good or a bad thing, it just is. When they see themselves, they see both, even if alternatively. Some CDers think they pass totally when they look at themselves in the mirror (or they're not sure), when others will read them. Some CDers have difficulty telling whether the GG in front of them is a man or not if she has short hair, a stocky body, is not wearing makeup and is wearing pants. And some CDers are convinced the other CDers they see in pics look totally like GGs, when (even though they are attractive and feminine looking), they don't.

    If this sounds harsh, I'm sorry. I'm not wanting to be mean, just objective. And I've fallen prey to this phenomena myself, many years ago. I was not able to see something that others were able to see quite well, unrelated to gender.
    Reine, I like your theory. I think I look passable sometimes and at other times I feel like I don't. I only post the photos that I think make me look the most feminine (which is usually about 5 for every 50 lol) which to me all depend on lighting, flash, makeup, hairstyle, etc. I remember the first time I shopped at walmart all dressed up, I saw a couple of guys eyeing me. I was and even now still am curious to know whether they saw something that gave me away or if they were simply checking me out. I think the former sounds more plausible because there could have been numerous things that I didn't do properly then but the latter would have been better (oh well...don't want to lie to myself). I also have a horrible gaydar unless they're blatant about it like the way they dress, move their hands or most noticibly their tone of voice (not trying to generalize but I've met many) which I find rather annoying (and I don't like myself for judging a person but its what I honestly think). But to each his own...this is a free country and which is why so many people immigrate here. As said before I try my best not to judge others in the hopes that I too will be not be judged.

    Serena

  24. #24
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    honestly, I have seldom noticed of us out in everyday life. I did think I saw a fellow traveler at the grocery store last year...the individual was painfully thin, very tall - perhaps 6'3". But what caught my eye was the outfit...a bit over the top for the grocery. I can't criticize too much however, because when I made my first grocery shopping foray en femme, I was probably over dressed a tad as well. I've since made it a point to tone it down just a bit.

  25. #25
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    You mean there are more of me out there? I never even notice people like John Elway or Doug Moe in the mall (My GF did right away...I didn't at all).

    The other day I was walking through Target and this woman smiled at me and I thought "she knows I am not a woman" and then I realized, I was dressed as a guy! But maybe she knew I was a a TG and she was just letting me know that she knew that I knew that she knew. Everyone has an agenda ( said it before I will keep saying it) and unless you interfere with their agenda they don't really care what you look like. I have an agenda when I am out. I do notice some beautiful tall and often masculine women. Rarely am I sure they are not TS or very good CDs. But then again, no one else cared around me either.
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