Joanne is right about what we call male mode. And you're right about your feelings too. A compromise is always best, balancing the lives of two people involved as you are.
One thing to keep in mind is he may or may not have known how much desire he had to crossdress until he had the opportunity, or maybe it increased with age beyond what he thought it would. For me, it was a moderate concern of mine before I married my second wife, but it then increased as I aged, creating tension and she raised lots of questions like yours.
For me, it can't be helped, as it is genetic. I didn't know this was going to happen to me and still don't know where it's leading to. I found out my dad did the same, but I didn't find this out until a short time before he died of cancer. Five years later I found out my son was going down the same path, even though I had hidden both mine and my dad's from him.
All the best, dear,
Ann
