Interesting, wouldn't make for a very good survey though as the results wouldn't take into account any variables. Often times people rush into (I'm going to discuss open marriages here for a moment, this isn't insinuation that my marriage is open) an open agreement in a marriage with bursting libidos and too small an education on the subject. I think the more interesting question isn't how many "open marriages" make it to 50, how many of these fail simply because the people involved were too ignorant of the dangers they were playing with. With the appropriate kinds of people (people, not me) and the appropriate kinds of boundaries and rules in place they do actually survive, and thrive. There are many cultures in existence now where this is the standard and not the exception. There have been countless before them. Opening a marriage does not doom it to failure, inexorably. Too often people forget, when you play with fire you get burned.Originally Posted by Tina B.
That of course says nothing of the overwhelming odds all marriages face now anyway. What is it? 60% 70% of marriages end prematurely in divorce. You have a 3 in 5 or 1 in 3 chances of it kicking the bucket anyway. Even being fully faithful, that doesn't mean your partner may be. There are plenty of reasons why a marriage ends, but given the statistically insignificant portion of relationships that are actually "open marriages" their failure rates are nothing compared to general failure rates. While not the point I imagine, and a strawman argument I agree. Still you can't simply shrug off that there aren't many open marriages, and their failures (even if they're 100% of the sum) aren't but a single % of the total failure rates anyway.
I'm no longer willing to entertain posts which posit the strength of my marriage is not at it's best. It is, quite. Has been for a very long time. Do the math, if you read my into post or the few details on my profile you'll note I'm about 30. I've been with my wife for nearly 15 years (yup highschool sweethearts you'd call us, how many of us are around these days?). We've seen thick and thin. We've been penniless, homeless and have lost everything too many times to count. We've faced vindictive family members bent on tearing us apart through various legal and illegal, I may add, ways. We've survived a great loss (I'm not going to ever describe this beyond this line, here) that no relationship has any chance on surviving. We fight with a frequency mirrored by the passing comets, and talk about important things on a daily basis. When I tell you that we're fine, we are. The strength of my relationship is not open for debate. Put aside the bitterness of past pursuits, and believe me when I tell you, for the last time. We're fine, and we've never been better. Honestly.
The difference (in my opinion I didn't write the big book of relationship labeling or anything) between an open relationship and what I have here. Is very simple, one word. Permission. Open means you have permission to do as you please. This isn't a relationship in my books. Which is odd, because it seems I am fighting a strong wind here, only we're heading in the same direction.
When we've brought someone else into our bed, we both brought that person to bed. The key word there, is both.
