Originally Posted by
Barbara Ella
Rachel, so sorry for your situation. You are right to feel indignant, and take an I'm pissed off attitude, so your latest approach with your dad can be acceptable. This is not a question of something to hide, as you have mentioned, it is your house, and they are guests. I doubt it if Mom would like someone attending a gathering at their house going through everything, regardless of what she says.
You have quite a bit of time left, and I don't know how the not answering will hold up. Don't let it get you angry and snippy. After a week or so, you may feel different about talking about it. You do not have to, but in the long run, you may be happier. Lots of good advice. Look them in the eyes at all times. Speak respectfully. At every chance, remind them that they raised you with a good set of values which you have followed in your decision making, and have developed a real good life for yourself. Let them know that you really feel they have done you right in your life so far, and you are doing nothing wrong, or immoral. you don't need to go into detail, but you don't need to tell a lie. you just do not need to give details. It comes down to trust. Do they trust what they have done raising their three children to believe you when you say you are happy and sane etc. If they answer yes, you can apologize for being angry and short, but you were beginning to feel they were doubting you, and you could not respond to that initially, as it conflicted with your view on your relationship with them (outside of being nosey!!). Keep the discussion general, and about trust and about personal privacy. They need to realize that generational personal privacy is a much different thing now than it was when they were younger.
OK, that is my take on some things to consider and use or not. Only you know your parents and your situation. I wish you the best. You don't have to lie, but you don't have to go into details if you don't want to.
Barbara
