Wife is "putting up" with me?

[Stephanie47]

Marriage is an on going series of negotiations and renegotiations. When you and your wife married, I must assume there were some boundaries, either stated or implied. If your wife is not accepting, not supportive, and, just tolerates your cross dressing, just how far do you think you can push any cross dressing issue? I think she did not sign on for this.

At best, I think you should abandon the 'growing breasts' fantasy. You and your wife need to sit down and discuss the entire cross dressing issue.

On the growing breasts issue, if you really want to grow some at your own peril, then consume vast quantities of mashed potatoes and gravy, pasta. sugary sweets and pop. I will guarantee you will grow nice boobs and fit into really plus size garments, including very sexy bras.

[Joanne f]

So you don't want to be a real woman , but as far as I know real women have breast's so how can you call this middle ground , try to look at it from your wife's point of view and then you might understand why she is not happy .

[Badtranny]

Does anyone else find this whole thing suspect?

Nah, I just think it's funny that she talks about "growing" breasts as if it's the easiest thing in the world. I was on an extremely high HRT dosage for 18 months and I never got near as big as I see some of the CD's say they are 'naturally'. Most of us get them augmented because there is no way to "grow your own" with any predictability. ...I realize that none of this has anything to do with this particular discussion though. :-)

[Sophie_C]

Okay now I have a serious problem here girls... My wife it would seem is only tolerating me being more feminine, but that's not what she's attracted to... On one hand, I can't help what I am, but on the other hand, I don't want to lose her. Is there perhaps middle ground we can find?

It would appear the biggest issue is my new project to grow my boobs. She isn't too happy about that, even though I already told her what I intend to do. She's very curious as to why I want them and simply put, to be more girlie! Well that, and I they make me feel sexy! (I'm up to an A cup at this point.)

I'm just about at my wit's end with this thing and would really like some advice. I don't want a divorce you understand and I can't seem to get it through to her that I don't want to be a real woman, but just like assuming that role at times...

This isn't remotely hard to understand. Imagine if your wife started dressing like a lumberjack, maybe even trying to somehow get a beard. How attracted would you be to her, then? It's the same deal to her. There is no middle ground here. She's attracted to masculinity and you're not giving it off now. All you can do is either repress it, as you were doing, or end it. That's it. The only people whose marriages continue, I am fully convinced, the wife was bisexual or pansexual to some degree to begin with. Yours, clearly, is not. Good luck!

[MsJanessa]

It would seem that you want to go beyond crossdressing into the realm of transexuality. It's difficult enough for most wives to accept their husband as a cross dresser, but even more difficult for them to accept their husband as a woman. My advice is to go to a therapist who is experienced with transgender issues and explore what it is you want---if you truely are a transexual, then the time has come to have a heart to heart with your spouse---I personally know of two marriages that lasted beyond the SRS stage--although the nature of the relationship changed from lovers and spouses, to spouses who are friends but seek their sexual pleasure elsewhere. I know of more marriages that ended when one spouse went through SRS-

--I had a good friend, now deceased, a TS. I commented once that it must have taken a lot of courage to go through SRS. She answered that it didn't--that she so desperatly wanted to be a women that she would have killed herself if the SRS option was not available. So if, infact, you truely are a TS, then you will have to come to grips with that reality and have the talk with your spouse--don't be suprised if its a deal breaker--if in fact you are a CD who just wants to look more femme, then go with the silicone breast forms--it will afford you more tranquility on the domestic front

[ReineD]

Nah, I just think it's funny that she talks about "growing" breasts as if it's the easiest thing in the world. I was on an extremely high HRT dosage for 18 months and I never got near as big as I see some of the CD's say they are 'naturally'. Most of us get them augmented because there is no way to "grow your own" with any predictability. ...I realize that none of this has anything to do with this particular discussion though. :-)

In a very general sense (there are always exceptions), it strikes me that transitioning TSs who want to be stealth, in addition to the muscle loss as the result of HRT, might be motivated to lose or not put on weight in order to fit better into women's sizes for their height? And so there would be fewer instances of gynecomastia, which is likely what many CDers have, who say they have "natural" breasts when they are not on a strict hormone regimen?

[Badtranny]

In a very general sense (there are always exceptions), it strikes me that transitioning TSs who want to be stealth, in addition to the muscle loss as the result of HRT, might be motivated to lose or not put on weight in order to fit better into women's sizes for their height? And so there would be fewer instances of gynecomastia, which is likely what many CDers have, who say they have "natural" breasts when they are not on a strict hormone regimen?

LOL, yes I understand exactly. I have been on a strict diet since the beginning so there is definitely no extra fat in the boobage area. Perhaps that's what the OP means by "growing"?

[Betty_42]

(Just got back!) Well I've been in the process of backtracking and repairing damage now and we're close again, and VERY affectionate. Now that said, I'm not going through traditional HRT, but rather a safer more natural alternative. Don't tell me phytoestrogens don't work as I'm quite literally living proof! It's also interesting that she seems to be growing fond of my little breasts now and actually enjoys resting her head on them. Unexpected, although certainly not unwelcome!

[NeKoi]

I also agree with most of the replies here that you should go have a good chat with her. Compromise as a couple. Working together is what makes relationships work. Like what Nicole mentioned, You should be thinking more of "we", than "her" and "I". (read this on some article about building relationships as well)

All the best!!
=^o^=

PS, I'm working on talking to my SO as well.... although mine is just on starting CD. I'm still pretty new. Ganbarimasyo! (lets work hard together!) ^.^

[Paula_56]

the big issue you are having is not growing 'boobs', but more about your using "I" 10 times in your post. If everything is about what you want, then prepare for the worse.

Good call Kelly!