Ah yes, the wading in is common.
By the way, Allison, one thing I didn't mention -- which is something which I believe must always be taken into consideration -- is that transgender feelings run a whole gamut of potential variations. I'm gender-fluid, others are bigender (expressing themselves alternately as male or female in accordance with the traditionally understood gender-binary), some are "gender dysphoric" and would prefer a life as the opposite sex entirely to a life as their currently assigned sex and gender, and then you have a near incalculable number of subsets which belong to each of those categories.
As for coming out, that has to be your decision, and it must be premised entirely upon what you are attempting to accomplish with your "transgender" behaviors, because, like it or not, presenting as a woman, to whatever degree, is a transgender behavior. Do others need to know that you are a firmly entrenched member of the transgender community or have decided upon that as an identity? A category for reference? Or can you accomplish all that you need to accomplish without sharing that with others?
That's your choice, and it requires a decent amount of deliberation, but I wish you all the luck in the world in dealing with it.
-Sarah-
