Thanks for the nice responses & no real horror stories which is good. Hopefully I can get as brave as some of you
Thanks for the nice responses & no real horror stories which is good. Hopefully I can get as brave as some of you
I had been going out to a transgender bar. At first it was pretty uneventful. But, then I locked my keys in the car and had to call AAA for help. I was expecting the worst, a rough guy with tatoos. The tow truck driver was a middle aged asian gentleman who was surprised to see me and kept calling me by my male name on the card. Overall, no big deal. Another time I was rear ended. I have been pulled over three times, I think just for the crime of driving around late near bar closing time. I do not drink and drive under any conditions, but had to submit to the sobriety test each time. The first time I was really nervous because it was one of my first interactions with the public. I was worried in that if an officer wants to take you to jail, he can invent some charge and do it. It turned out to be ok.
My opinion as well..I will always remember the night in Chicago that I was on my way to a TG event at a nightclub and needed a phone card badly.Not thinking anything of what neighborhood I was in,I pulled into a CVS ..I found the cards at the end of the isle,and went to get into the checkout line and discovered,I'd be one of 50 people in that line! What a sight I was...short leather skirt,heels,etc[club dress] in a checkout line of "people from the old country"! Just like being on stage...but closer!! All I could do was smile and chuckle to myself that "I gave em something to talk about". Life is too short to not enjoy yourself.Originally Posted by Kate Simmons
There are never any guarantees one way or the other. Just go out and do it and enjoy being yourself Hon. It's your life really.
It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !
The first time I went out en femme, it was to the Maryland Renaisance Fair. I rented a wnech costume and changed there, so there wasn't even the thought of plausible deniability. The girls who helped me dress (cinched up my bustier) were great. The were very encouraging and kind of doted over me.
I must have been seen by tems of thousands of people at the Faire, and very few even gave me a second look. A few girls gave me a big knowing smile and a few even told me how great my outfit was. One grunk guy was totally freaked out, but his friends pulled him away before any trouble ensued.
The being said, I still have trepidation going into all girld stores like VS, Ulta, Dress Barn, either en femme or en homme. I still haven't worked up the courage for VS.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
My first fully dressed outing with my with (then girl friend) we wen to a mall in north Seattle and at dinner at Macaroni Grill and it was packed so we had to wait about 15 minutes, once inside the service was wonderful and they took my order first. I did see a little pointing and all smiles from some of the staff when I went to pay and my guy name is on the credit card which was expected. Nothing hurtful.
One time I was just a guy in a dress, black nylons and heels and my wife wanted to see Bodies exibit so we stood in line and went inside only to find out that it was also a field day for the local school district hight schools. Lots (100's) of teenager's and nothing negative happened.
Go out and enjoy! LP
I have only gone out dressed while at and adult theater, several times which makes it easier, and a cross-dress private club. but being with others dressed as a woman was very fullfilling.
I would be even more fullfilling to have a professional makeover and look good then go out for in public , say shopping or for dinner.
She is right, the most people i have contact with have been very kind, i had a couple laughsmiles, but in general people don't mind you being out in the crowd, Ladies some times will come and talk to you, why your dress, and general will tell you if you need something to pull it off better, but there is always that one that just has to make a scene, and Nichola like Mss Hyde said. you passvery easy, and men will think your a nature woman,hugs girlfriend.
[SIZE="3"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"]Stacy Lynn Coral[/SIZE]
My first time out dressed was this past weekend. I stopped at the gas station with my girlfriend to grab some cigarettes on our way to the bar. I was immediately outed by a gay guy inside, who loved my hair, and offered me a few makeup tips. I was slightly nervous, since I was unsure how the other customers would respond, but no one seemed to pay me any mind. After we got to the bar, a couple there, thinking we were both cis-girls, offered to buy us drinks. After talking with us for 10 minutes, they realized Katie was actually a CD, and my girlfriend was a hetero female. It was a great first time for me!
So my first "real" outing (my first actual time leaving the house was for Halloween which IMO doesn't really count), my wife and I went to a drag show in downtown Chicago. I was a terrified nervous wreck the entire car ride down, paranoid that every car we passed could "tell". When we got to the place, hopped out and walked in, the host greeted us and said, "Right this way, ladies!" THAT little statement rocked my world... and I relaxed a little. I was still pretty uptight, with my mind going a million miles an hour, and eventually my wife leaned over and told me to relax. I tried my best, eased back a little, exhaled... and enjoyed the show (forgetting I was even dressed in the first place!) I think I relaxed a little TOO much though - my wife asked one of the performers if she (he) would be willing to say hello to me personally since it was my first time out dressed, and she responded with, "NO lady sits like that!". I guess I "spread out" too much in the chair in my efforts to relax (oops). But all in all, it was a good evening.
The 2nd time out - wife and I spent the day shopping. Once I got over the initial nerves, it was totally fine - nobody even batted an eye. I purposely avoided dealing with SA's (voice would be a dead giveaway) but out and mingling in public was totally fine. We even went walking down Michigan Ave. in downtown Chicago (with LOTS of people around) and I felt as invisible as anyone. One thing I noticed - other women in department stores are so focused on the shopping before them, I think you could probably walk by in a pink dinosaur suit and no one would notice. But I think the clothing contributes, too - I wore a basic sweater dress, leggings, flats, and some light makeup that day. Go out in a leather mini and 6" heels and you're more likely to get noticed.
I did one TG specific event this past Halloween... and while I met some great people, mostly I was not impressed. It was great to be able to walk around the room freely and completely NOT worry about passing (though I believe I did look pretty good, my wife did an awesome job with my makeup)... but, without wanting to potentially offend somebody here, I'll just say that overall the majority of the crowd really wasn't my cup of tea. I think I'd prefer to go out for a night or whatever with a group of GG's, or just by myself. I think it would attract less attention.
But back to my earlier point - clothing. I've found that, as Laura evolves, I have less interest in the skimpy and strappy, and more interest in the simple and passable. My wardrobe has changed over the years to something that while still very stylish (IMO) it's also pretty conservative. I think if the clothing blends in a little bit, you won't stand out as much.
I haven't really been "out', but earlier this month I did dress in front of a seamstress I had never met before. I did not try to be really femme or talk in a femme voice, just soft and quietly.
She was wonderful, made me feel totally at ease and even joked about my height (5'13" in heels) and how she had to reach up to measure my shoulders (she is maybe 5'4").
I doubt I will feel as comfortable when I finally do get out, and I hope the first person I meet is a kind as my seamstress.
When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.
I absolutly love going out dressed. I have seen a few side glances, heard some snickering, but most of my reactions ahve been very good. I'm impressed with the facination most people have when they talk to you. People I have met in bars, at retail stores, have all been great. I've been lucky I guess and never ran into someone who was cruel. Even had a cowboy come on to me once......was polite but backpeddled when he found out I was CD. Women seem to be the most curious and inquisitive. Made a lot of new friends that way.
My first interaction was with a male business friend. I "bumped" into him at a bar. He didn't recognize me at first, but it didn't take long. I don't know who was the most shocked. He has been a good friend for several years now and is one of the few people who know a lot about my en femme self. He made me feel quite at ease, and that helped me a lot with future meetings.
My first interaction was as a teenager. I liked to walk on the beach and was doing so when I met a woman doing the same. She just walked up to me when I paused to look at the ocean and started commenting on how beautiful the scene was. I had been dressing and going out for awhile and was pretty comfortable in a bikini and coverup at the beach. I had already prepared myself to just act as natural as possible if anyone talked to me so I responded back to her as if nothing was amiss. We ended up walking the beach together that day and had a great conversation. At first, she never let on she knew I wasn't really "Diana" (at that time) until we had returned to our starting point. It was then that she warned me how unsafe it might be to walk the beach dressed as I was, as the "locals" might react negatively. She happened to own a house on that beach with her husband and invited me to come by when I was in the area. We became friends and shared quite a few walks together. She was a wonderful woman. She even gave me a few tips on how to be more "girly".
Nichola:
I agree with a lot of previous posts in that you are really very pretty and won't have too much to worry about. People are going about their daily routines and you'll find you don't need to put too much stress into what they may be thinking. It is very exhilarating, almost intoxicating, to go out presenting as a woman, something I've always wanted, and now do. Like Renee said, start with a drive through, do a bit of shopping, work on softening your voice a bit for that face-to-face with a cashier. I don't pass very well, but confidence helps a lot. When face to face with a cashier that I know has read me, I just remain very pleasant and confident, and get smiles back - they can tell I'm enjoying myself, and spending money to boot! Enjoy yourself!
Jamie
My first real interaction with another person happened so fast, it was over before I knew I was into it. I was out dressed in a local park, needed a washroom so decided, as I think is right, to use the women's. As I stepped out of the washroom there was a woman arriving, she held the door for me, she gave me a polite "Hi" and continued on - it was a non event, I hadn't had time to start quaking in my shoes, I had been assessed for a fraction of a second and evidently came up female.
Hannah
My first time out dressed was on a business trip. I brought a dress and wig but didn't have any makeup. I put on the dress and wig and went to the local K-Mart. No problems in the store, but as I walked out I passed 2 girls in their early teens. Right after I passed them I heard one of them say to her friend "Hey - that was a guy!". By then I was on my way to the car. I kind of chuckled to myself. But gotta wear some makeup next time. I've been shopping lots of times and never had any problems. Probably my best outing was to a museum. I wore a denim jumper, black opaque pantyhose and knee boots with about 2.5 inch heels. I felt pretty sexy about my outfit. No problems all morning walking around the museum. For lunch I went to the museum cafeteria. Just picked up what I wanted and walked thru the checkout line. I didn't even have to open my mouth. I was a little nervous about talking since I have a kind of low voice. Only talking I had to do all day was buying my ticket - just walked up and said "One" in as fem sounding voice as I could. One trip to the ladies room after lunch - no problems and touched up my lipstick. Great outing!
Kelly
offer still stands babes, only had encounters twice, really helps to find someone you can feel comfortable with without any stress and release yourself a bit....
Seriously, you are totally hot!! You'll have no problem passing!
To answer your question, I've been going out for months now and it has been a totally positive experience!
It was nerve wracking for sure. I was at an outlet mall with my wife and we went to the Dress Barn. While my wife went to try things on the SA tried to chat me up...asking if I was going to try anything on, if I liked the jewelry they had and so on. I didn't want to talk and make myself obvious and I see now that the SA was just trying to be helpful and get me to relax, but it was not having that effect at that moment.
Now I don't even give it a second thought and will talk to anyone. If they know, then so be it...if not, better still. No more nerves, just enjoyment.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
My first and second, and, therefore only times I ventured out with the intend of communicating with humanoids, it was Halloween. My first outing was to a Winchell's Doughnut Shop. The woman attending the counter complimented me on my look, which was totally en femme from wig and makeup to black heels. That made me feel good.
My second Halloween adventure was to a Safeway. I bought a bottle of Coke. The cashier really did not say anything. However, a guy in his twenties laughed hysterically. I had on a black dress and black heels, wig and makeup. I would not say it was disappointing, because, the guy acted like an idiot.
My recommendation would be to limit your exposure to ridicule. Go to a place that is naturally appreciative of cross dressers as they would be of the general public. In my area I have noticed on occasion small signs in the shops of a store that indicates it is gender friendly. And, one shop did offer appointments. Another resale shop interviewed in the newspaper explicitly stated it had many transgendered clients and welcomed them. Of course, there are gender friendly social activities. Go where you are appreciated.
I went back and looked at some of your postings of pictures. I think you appear to have the poise to interact with the general public. You look to be a little heavy on the five o'clock shadow, but, maybe you were just modeling the attire for us.
It was nerve wracking and fun all at the same time.
I think one of the first times I was getting a drink out of a machine at a grocery store (outside). There were 2 female employees sitting on the bench taking a smoke break.
One asked me for a light so I fished thru my purse and handed her my Bic.
She said thats a really cute purse I have one that is a darker blue I love it.
I said yeah they have lots of room in them for the size.
She looked closer and said watch for those guys over there they always try to hit on girls out here.
As I walked away her friend said gosh I think guys in drag are so cute.
I was terrified and elated all at once if thats possible.LOL. That was quite a while back and I think things are getting better for our kind.
Posting Permissions
