Allie, I'm glad you brought up missed opportunities. My SO was extremely self conscious and closeted when we first met...it took a lot of guts for him to go out fully dressed. He's now "completely out." I use the " " because it's not like we really just walk around randomly announcing, "Haaaaaave you met Ryan? By the way, he's a CD." But, if something related comes up, we take the opportunity to inform people that's he's a CD. For example, one of my friends was joking with me that Ryan would have to start wearing my clothes if I didn't get rid of my old clothes/make space in my closet. I laughed and said, "Too late!" My friend kind of laughed/was confused...so, I said, "Oh, I thought you knew that Ryan is a CD" At this point, my friend just didn't believe me (I have a habit of exploiting gullible people)...so, I called Ryan over and said, "I was just telling Andrew that you were a CD." (My SO is used to my blunt behavior after 4 years). And, so he said, "Yep, it's true...I thought you saw me at the Halloween party." Andrew countered he thought it was just for Halloween....and, so I said, "Really? He did it that well and you thought it was just for Halloween? Or, that he goes as some random famous chick Every Halloween?" (I know...he may be a CD, but he just can't think out of the box...famous chick every year lol jk) So, our friend was a little interested...asked questions. Ryan gave the good ol' "I guess I just like to wear women's clothes." (Of course, that's really not his whole story...but, it is for some people...so they say). Either way, it was put out there and a lot of people in our lives now know someone personally who is influenced by these issues.
Now, I will admit that my SO and I have been paranoid at times going out..,worried about violence. Well, really, I'm the worried one...but, my SO was able to actually consider that people might be violent over such things...I think being raised male gives a bit of an "it wouldn't happen to me" mindset at times. It seems like me and my friends are perpetually on "rape alert"...as if every male on the street is just one flip out away from raping and pillaging. (It's actually really sad that we're taught this, but I actually have been pretty thankful of it in the past). But, the point is that we were also scared...we still are...but, we put ourselves out there. And, with doing that, we have had nothing but positive experiences...any negative experience that we have had remotely related to CDing has been from within ourselves...our community has been nothing but supportive. And, if we can get this in the middle of Alabama, I think it can be accomplished almost anywhere.
