Just a hobby?

[Veronicatally]

Hi Joanne
Thanks for posting this well-put thought. I'm fairly new to xdressing and one of the most enlightening moments for me was realizing that we all bring a variety of experiences and expectations to xdressing. None is right, wrong or the other. They are simply our experiences and it's fun to share them, explore and learn from others. Thanks again for posting.
V

[Chiana]

We are all different and it would be impossible for me to say whether or not CDing is a hobby for some. It could be. For me, CDing is a hobby like eating is a hobby.

[Jilmac]

I can name many recreational hobbys that, for some people, have become an obsession. Fishing, hunting, archery, golf, coin and stamp collecting, doll plate and spoon collecting, just to name a few. I once had a coworker who collected bells, he and his wife lived in a modest three berooom home along with their bells. They had bells of every shape and size imaginable throughout the house, garage, and yard. His hobby of collecting bells became such an obsession that he and his wife went to a therapist to see if what they called a hobby was normal.

So if your BF calls his crossdressing a hobby, to him it may not be much different than some of the hobbys I mentioned. Actually, I think it's a quite harmless hobby, and no more expensive than collecting bells or any other persuit.

[Ressie]

A hobby! That's an interesting way of looking at this obsession I have. Collecting stamps is a hobby; why not collect women's clothing? I like matching shoes, tops and skirts into an organized outfit. I'm just not very good at it yet. But putting the clothes on isn't what I would consider a hobby. But maybe that's just me...

[AllyCDTV]

It's a hobby for me. I look upon it as just a fun thing I like to do. My interest comes and goes and right now, it seems to be going since I am finding some other things that interest me more. Can I ever quit it? Only time can tell. I haven't touched my model railroad in 15 years but I'm not throwing any of my trains stuff out either.

It is different for everyone and that goes for your SO too. And as Wildaboutheels pointed out, there are plenty of myths and "absolute truths" that get tossed about on this forum. Give special attention to those of us who speak for themselves and discount those who speak for crossdressers as a whole. There are differences about all of us.

[DonnaT]

I've had several hobbies during my life, and never felt the need to do what I did. I could quit any of them with no problem.

Crossdressing, however, for me, is quite different. It's something I have to do, and although I've tried, could never quit for very long before the urge/need drew me back in.

Note that hobbies can become obsessive for the hobbiest, and some CDs can find this same hobby obsession with cross dressing.

[kristinacd55]

Hi Kay....welcome to the forum! Ummm.....I'd say in most cases it's NOT a hobby.

[melissakozak]

Hobby? Obsession? Unusual interest perhaps? Sorry. It is NONE of the above for most CDers and transidentified people.

[Lynn Marie]

Kay, it's a hobby to me as well, but if you only knew how obsessive guys get about our hobbies . . .



Kathi

Oh yes, I'm one of those who can get downright obsessive about my hobbies. I like referring to my CDing as a hobby or a sport sometimes but, in truth, it does seem to be a good deal more than that. Could I just give it up anytime I like? Probably not, in that respect, it's a lot like a smoking addiction. I quit 15 years ago, but I could easily start again. I really enjoyed it even though it tried to kill me!

[Laura912]

Is the term "hobby" like the term "pornography?" We use the term but cannot define what it is but know it when we see it. Do not know of many hobbyist who purge frequently during their lives. Any one here who has not ever purged? (For the OP, that is throwing everything out and swearing never again.) This goes beyond hobby to being a part of me.

[Beverley Sims]

If you collect pornography you would get an insatiable urge to purge if the cops are a 'knocking on your door.

[NicoleScott]

I don't want to say the f word but maybe somewhere between hobby and f...ish.

I always thought the f-word was something else. We learn something new every day.
Fetish is not a dirty word. Used properly, it describes the drive that some crossdressers have.
To the topic: we dress, as others have said, because we are driven by something deeply internal, and it's not the same for all. But, as crossdressers, some of us have hobby-ized it.

[Trishpdxcd2]

As you can see, many different perspectives. For some it is a hobby, some a fetish, some a compulsion and some an expression of gender. Since he is out the best thing to do is communicate. I am closeted myself and for me it is a mix of several things but weighs more towards being sexual. Each person is different but most of us with so care about them deeply regardless so keep that in mind and she is lucky to have you.

[flatlander_48]

Sorry, this is not a hobby for me. A hobby is something you do for interest or for fun, but it is not what you are. That's the difference from my viewpoint.

[DianeDeBris]

"As far as hobbies go... maybe. Some men I am sure will do this as a hobby (would be cheaper to make model airplanes but... ) "
Sometimes I think it would be cheaper to make REAL airplanes!

[Eryn]

Sometimes I think it would be cheaper to make REAL airplanes!

Trust me, unless you frequent Nieman-Marcus, CDing is much cheaper than homebuilt aircraft.

http://www.eaa.org

Now, the question of whether CDing is a hobby. Wikipedia defines "Hobby" as "A hobby is a regularly undertaken activity that is done for pleasure, typically, during one's leisure time." Using that definition I can definitely call CDing a hobby.

Of course one could also look up "Obsession" and find that it is defined as "A compulsive or irrational preoccupation." which also fits my perspective of CDing. I seem to have to do it and I can't really think of a rational reason for it so I suppose I'm obsessed. So are a lot of people who ride Harleys.

[Lorileah]

Trust me, unless you frequent Nieman-Marcus, CDing is much cheaper than homebuilt aircraft.

well duh, where else would you shop?

[Natalya]

I have my fair share of hobbies, pastimes and little obsessions; I can see how some people might view their cross dressing in a similar vein. There have been times of denial when I've tried to kid myself that for me too it was just a 'hobby' and that could have been a valuable, even necessary, part of the process of coming to accept myself for who I am. It may, though that was never a conscious intention, also have helped others come to terms with who I am. But, in my case, it isn't and never was a hobby.

Of course, we are all of us different and are all on very different and unpredictable journeys; there is no one-size-fits-all explanation for why we do what we do or why we are what we are.

Best Wishes

Natasha

[Tracii G]

Welcome Kay you did the right thing coming here lots of nice people here to answer your questions.
For me its an extension of my personality and part of my inner self.
I can say its not a hobby for me.

[Eryn]

Trust me, unless you frequent Nieman-Marcus, CDing is much cheaper than homebuilt aircraft.

well duh, where else would you shop?

If that's where you are economically you won't be homebuilding aircraft. You'll be jetting off to Cannes on your G-5.

[PaulaQ]

Trust me, unless you frequent Nieman-Marcus, CDing is much cheaper than homebuilt aircraft.

Am I bad for having a Neiman-Marcus card? uhh, uhhh - they don't take american express there, and I needed to buy perfume - for my "wife".

This isn't sounding believable, is it?

I suddenly realized that for some of us, CD does have one thing in common with a lot of hobbies - a lot of guys lie like hell about how much they spend on their hobby, and what they buy. On *all* of my hobby forums, there is a thread about "how to hide purchases form wife". LOL, that part isn't unique at all!

[Loni]

i can not say about your so, but for me it is a lifestyle. but then i do wish i could go full time as a woman. job and family say no.
for me it is more a obsession, not a just hobby.

talk with your so, find out his/her needs and wants. let yours be know. can you live with her? do things go places? help with makeup, deportment?
is your so willing to help with your wants and needs?
you will find that a close girl friend is a valuable way to live. and who knows your sex life could be very great. pending you are married? (old fashioned conservative here).

hope it does work out.

.

[Eryn]

...On *all* of my hobby forums, there is a thread about "how to hide purchases form wife". LOL, that part isn't unique at all!

ROFL! So true. One of Roger Welsch's rules for tractor collecting is:

Never line up your tractors, ever. Nothing distresses a difficult spouse more than seeing twelve old tractors lined up, looking for all the world like a burning pile of hundred dollar bills. Scatter the tractors around- a couple behind the shed, one or two in the shed, another beside the garage- so that it is not possible for anyone, if you know who I mean, to see more than two or three from any one perspective. Your hobby will be less "irritating" that way, if you know what I mean..."

The problem is, my wardrobe is pretty hard not to "line up" on the closet rail!

[Tiffbear]

Its a hobby for me. It is fun, a use of free time, pretending to be someone else. But, it wasn't the kind of hobby that you pick up because you see others do it, try it and realize it is fun, something makes you want to.

Don't worry too much, just talk to your SO about it, just don't make it into an issue if it shouldn't be. Clearly you're accepting of it since you're here.

[Tara D. Rose]

For some, it is a hobby, and for some it's not. For me it is not a hobby at all, it;s something that I have got to do. My hobbies are guitar playing and singing and oil painting. But becoming Tara is something I must do, I have to do, I will do, I need to be her at times. There have been times, when I was getting off of work and invited to a fun party, but I would decline, for I was yearning to go to be female side. It's always been with me and it always will. It took many years to learn that. It's really just opinions on this. So a hobby, for some it is and for some it isn't.