My wife and I had a really good talk last night. She went to a therapist who specializes in gender issues. (His child is a FtM transexual so this is real for him.)

She's realized that pulling away from me only hurts us both. She's still mad at me for jeapordizing our future plans, but her therapist pointed out "you know, your husbands transgender or not, most of that stuff you were planning on is totally beyond your control anyway, right?"

She's still worried that if I'm really trans, I'll start hormones and my penis will eventually be gone. She knows that's a possibility. All I could tell her was "hon, I've only understood this about myself for two months. I can't promise where it's going, but I've talked to other girls here who find a middle path and don't transition, and that this is my goal - I don't want our sex life to change. It isn't the only thing about our relationship, but it is a corner-stone, and I don't want to lose it. And honestly, a lot of the steps for transition scare the hell out of me, I'm not ready to think about them, and don't know whether they'll even be right for me."

She told me she's still not ready to see me dress - and that's fine. I agreed to not shave anything else until later. There's time, and we need to go slow. She did say I should shave my legs again, and underdressing was fine. She wants me to feel happy. This is huge progress!

This morning she was telling me she was looking for shoes, and I told her I'd like to shop with her sometimes - I've always liked shoes. So we talked about shoes for me. We both love shoes. Somehow we ended up with her painting my toenails. She said "you know, it's just nail polish, and you can wear socks or slippers around the house and nobody has to see 'em." I am sure I'll return the favor for her and paint her toes.

She's trying HARD - that is my take on this. Really, really hard. When my wife makes up her mind to do something - she does it. I need to be careful not to push too hard, or not to overdo this. And I know there'll likely be times when something that was previously fine will suddenly not be fine. It is give and take, and I've told her that we just need to keep talking, and do what's comfortable for the both of us.

I know we have a LONG way to go, and that there will be setbacks along the way. And I know I need to be super-mindful of her, and to make sure HER needs are met too. I did tell her that her shoe budget was going up, as a start! I am going to be going through a lot of changes here, and I want to be sure she doesn't feel cheated - she needs to feel good too.

BTW, last night and this morning are really a lot more positive than I'd ever dared to hope for. I know there's still a long way to go, and I know there will be hard times, but what a difference, huh?

I really love my wife. Marrying her is the only decision I've ever made in my lifetime that I was 100% sure of. I had NO DOUBT. I'm stunned by what an amazing woman she is. I mean, I knew she was amazing, but she is trying HARD here.