my story is probably a lot different than most. I had dressed in my teen years, but had given it up then. We had been married a few years until i decided i wanted to dress for a Halloween party which i did. I announced to my wife that i kind of wanted to do it again after that......
We had our first date at a steakhouse and she asked me to come over that Saturday.
She asked me to bring over an outfit to her apartment and dress in her bedroom, which I did, and then I used her mirror to apply my makeup and then after all was done I walked on out and she liked what she saw.
We dated for six months or so, me bringing over different outfits, she making adjustments on my makeup, and off to the mall we’d go.
We married after six months and been married over ten years.
What led up to it was the thought that we'd have to get married almost at once, because we were now having to pay for a prescription for her (for insulin) that we thought was going to be something like $250 a month. (Turns out it was more like $250 every five months, which is a little easier to handle.) So I had to get that out there...or, as Sabrina puts it, she had to drag it out of me.Originally Posted by kimdl93
Her reaction to this revelation--along the lines of "So? I don't mind it"--made me wish I'd opened up a lot sooner. But, in the roughly seven months since then, I've made tremendous strides forward, thanks to the encouragement and examples of my sisters here.
- Amy
Amy Gale Ruth Bowersox (nee Tapie) - "Be who you are, and be it in style!"
Member, Board of Trustees, Gender Identity Center of Colorado
aka Amelia Storm - Ms. Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2018-2019, Miss Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2015-2016
Hi,
When i told Jos i am a woman over 20 years ago,.& even then i was not bothered about clothes or dressing . was another few years before i started buying clothes though i had brought Jos clothes for many years, & what did not fit or look right i took them back so got to know many of the women in the shops plus the online women as well. even before Jos & i would buy clothes for myself together. & Jos would say yes or not to what i thought would look nice for her or myself,
Later on i did dress in my clothes so Jos knew what i looked like plus makeup. if any thing was not right it was get it off & do again. that was for two years of my training & with health & beauty at our Poly tech school with 7 of us women training for a job in makeup or other,
Jos allso came with me when i brought my first wig & she checked it out & Jos liked it, did wear my wig & wigs for 11 years, till id had enough of headaches,
What Jos took time with not dressing i know yet part of the whole was after corrective surgerys, no she did not wont to see, till 9 months later.
As others have said when i told them about Jos , concerning myself , she really is one neat woman in many more ways .
Jos has seen all my clothes plus the others i made & wear for our two period groups, & i think i look better in those than normal day wear, of skirts & tops,
...noeleena...
Yesterday. The dressing is not new to her.
But she hasn't seen me dressed since I've been going outside the four walls, in the last month.
Apparently I'm cute, and elegant like Jackie O
It went well (thank goodness)
Learning to be me - the best me I can be
My wife has been a hard nut to crack. She is from a traditional Catholic family where everyone has a clearly defined role and doesn't deviate from it. On top of that, she is naturally stubborn but unwilling to get into an argument. I, on the other hand, have established my own pattern of stubbornness where I just go ahead and do what I need to do. I know, that's a recipe for a train wreck. Several years ago, when the feminine urges came back with a vengeance, I slipped into one of her seldom used nightgowns and climbed back into bed. She recoiled, saying she couldn't stand to touch or even look at me. For a long time after that, any attempt to have a conversation about CDing was met with a deafening silence. It was a lonely existence. She refused to even try to understand me or search the net for answers. I think she just ruminated about the usual worst case scenarios: was I gay, did I want to transition, was I going to turn into an over-the-top drag queen who looks like an angry Las Vegas showgirl. But whenever I tried to steer a conversation toward my femme feelings, it was another shutdown. I spent a lot of nights crying quietly in the dark from the loneliness and isolation I felt.
Finally, I started getting sound fashion advice from the SA's I met in various ladies shops and departments. I have been buying clothes that work on my body and wearing them at home in front of her, just for my own peace of mind. I have actually started getting compliments from her like "I like that dress on you" and "That outfit is my favorite" She is realizing that I am the same me, only better since I am happier and more self confident. After all, they're only clothes with no intrinsic meaning, right? (NOT!)
She still can't bring herself to go out with me dressed or help pick out clothes, but she can look at me and smile. Her biggest concern is that I "seem to be spending a lot on clothes these days". I can't help it, I'm like a kid in a candy store now and there's only one or two things in a store at any time that work with my figure, so what's a girl to do? Teehee
I know that my method is contrary to all the great advice I read on this site about going slow, going at her pace. But "her pace" was zero and I couldn't handle all the pent up frustration, loneliness and resentment any longer so I took a gamble, being prepared to accept the worst outcome. So now we are at peace. My wonderful wife has chosen not to destroy me but to accept me, although not with the enthusiasm some here have the joy to experience. Life continues.
Well being in gay relationship, my then boyfriend now husband thought I was just going through a phase he is very comfortable being gay, and so am I, I just know that I'm a woman and my husband is OK with that....... The very first time I fully dressed was in the beginning of the summer 2002 I had been growing my hair long, one morning I decided I needed bangs so I trimmed my bangs slipped on a bikini and covered up with a cute pink floral spaghetti strapped summer dress, my husband about fell out of his chair, his mouth dropped and I'll never forget what he said, WOW you could turn a gay man strait LOL we have been a "normal looking couple" blah blah, for 11 years now.
I can totally relate to what you are saying, suzanne, and my situation closely parallels yours - down to the respective personality profiles of the marriage partners involved, as well as my wife's strict Catholic upbringing - along with all the rigidity, inflexibility and quickness to judge harshly that seems to be part of the package for some of its more conservative practitioners. But in my case, my wife's stubbornness is exacerbated by her need to control everything (and everyone) within her sphere of influence as well as her fundamentally combative and argumentative nature (she calls it "being opinionated", in her terminology). So very often, this comes down to a case of the irresistible force meeting the immovable object.
For years, my wife tried to keep me in check with guilt (Catholics are very good at that kind of thing), especially since I didn't divulge my crossdressing inclinations to her before we got married some 40-odd years ago on the assumption that marriage would "cure" me (NOT!). But as time went by, I began to understand myself better and that - together with information sources like the Internet and this forum - showed me that I am far from alone in this, and that I have nothing to be ashamed of for feeling (and being) the way I am. That, together with going out in public over the last 5 years and experiencing nothing but unconditional acceptance by everyone that I have ever encountered has completely transformed the way I now regard both my crossdressing and underlying transgenderism.
All that said, I finally "grew a pair", and in the spirit of Napoleon Bonaparte who once declared "You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs" decided to stand my ground, and the consequences be dam*ed.
While my wife still refuses to meet or even look at pictures of "Leslie", I now talk openly about my crossdressing, have designated areas in the house where I keep "her" clothes, and go out en femme on a regular basis - all of which I now no longer try to hide or lie about. And much as I hate to describe my wife as a being a bully when it comes to her way of dealing with my crossdressing, the standard tactics of confronting and standing down a bully seem to have worked for me in this instance.
Do I wish that all of this could have been achieved without the attendant drama? Of course I do, but it is what it is, and at least my wife and I have a type of DADT relationship now that is reasonably workable and allows "Leslie" to flourish to a degree that I can live with.
My wife wants me to be happy. She encouraged me to buy a pair of high heels a few years back because she knew that I enjoyed when she wore hers. She wanted to know if I would like the experience of wearing a pair of heels, myself. I thought about it and agreed to experiment. I bought a pair, tried them on, and discovered they gave me pleasure and excitement. She encouraged more experimentation- nylons, lipstick, makeup. We had fun. We role played. Then we went to Las Vegas. I got a wig, a transformation and went back to the hotel room, fully dressed and made up. She was shocked - in a favorable way - and loved the look. Since that day, she has always been 100% encouraging.
First time my wife saw me dressed was right after a therapy session last week. I'd attempted suicide the weekend before, and she knew I was in crisis. So she told me "I've decided to put on my big girl panties, and meet Paula, if you are ready for me to do so." So I was already dressed, and met her when she came home.
She was surprised at how I looked - it was a LOT better than she expected, and she was surprised at my skill at makeup. (I still have a lot to learn!) I was wearing a blue floral maxi-dress and shrug. Blue's a good color for me, so I thought I looked nice. We had a really long talk, and she told me I could dress in her presence as I needed to.
Unfortunately, the third, (and last) time she saw Paula was the day after, when I returned home from my therapist visit. Next day she told me, while kind of drunk, that she really doesn't like Paula. So back in the closet I go. By sunday, we were talking about whether or not I should move out this week. (She suggested this, not me.)
Well, I guess chalk it up to "easy come, easy go?" Guess she really wasn't ready to meet me after all, as it turns out.
It's really hard to feel positive about my true self when it freaks everyone I know and love out so badly. "Arrrgh! OMG! It's HER!!!!!" I guess I could understand this if I turned into a werewolf and ate people's faces off. But I don't - I swear - it's just clothes, wig, and boobs... (No face eating WHATSOEVER!!!!!!!)
The real first time my wife saw me in full regalia was a Halloween party ten years ago so I don't really count that. When it was a bit more 'serious' a few years ago she could handle everything except the wig (makeup was a smaller issue) so it was a challenge. It's still not easy for her to deal with me being fully dressed but it's far better than it was a while back. We've been out together a few times and hopefully there'll be more. So, there's hope even when the initial reaction isn't good!
We found "Tina" almost 8 years ago. Once we understood she existed it took a few months to amass everything that she needed for a full transformation (wig, forms, stockings, shoes, and a bit of makeup, skirt and top). One Saturday we just decided it was time to start seeing who Tina is, and it took almost two hours from nail polish to full transformation.
Tina took a deep breath and just walked out of the bedroom and we met...the response was WOW! Just the idea of changing hair and going from a flat chest to 40B made such a difference in appearance, and Tina already understood about how to walk and hold herself, so the effect was striking!
We never looked back and my wife has been the most essential element in Tina's ability to transform successfully and with confidence. IMHO there is no better mentor than a supportive wife....love her completely!
My wife saw me fully dressed before she knew I was a crossdresser. She wanted me to dress as a woman fir Halloween, which I was more than willing to do. When I told her much later that I was a crossdresser, she was not supportive at all, but after a few years she came around and now is fully supportive.
Suzanne, a couple of times you used the word loneliness...and that really struck a chord with me. When I finally asked my wife if I could dress completely around her, part of what I shared was that I had this same feeling of loneliness. She mentioned that to me when we finally resolved this. I think she empathized with that feeling.
That's a really fascinating twist! So glad the two of you were able to meet here! And I applaud you for accepting her "guy" side too, even though Sherlyn has to be way cuter
First time I met Sherlyn was our first date ......our story is a little different We were friends here on the forum and decided to meet.
I did not meet the guy side right away and she was nervous me meeting the guy side.
Immediately after I told the woman who is now my wife about my crossdressing, she insisted that I dress in each of my outfits so she could see. I was very nervous since no one had ever seen me crossdressed, but she soothed me and made me feel comfortable. I spent the rest of that evening crossdressed, more to help my nerves - she was fine with it from the start.
Miriam
My wife had no idea who I was for a couple of months.
She thought I was Beverley, until I met her as my male self.
She thought I was related for a couple of weeks then.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
She stared, astonished, and told me how pretty I looked (those days are gone
DonnaT
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