Told my wife again...Sort of...

[leliani]

So this weekend was ComicCon, and my wife decided to get dressed up as a Lollita doll. All over the past week, she kept receiving all this great stuff like a petticoat, new MJ shoes, and a super cute new wig. I was getting very jealous lol!

So anyway, a little backstory is that about 4-5 years ago, I sat down and had 'the talk'. She didn't freak out or anything (which was great in my book), but she didn't really want to know Anything about it. She thought it was a phase I was going through and that I'm free to eventually quit on my own time.

So I still feel I've been going behind her back when I dress, even though I was open and honest with her. I've been too afraid to bring it up again (one time is tough enough).

So yesterday, she was getting ready for ComicCon and was having trouble with her fake eyelashes. I helped her out as I knew how to do them. She said it seems like you've done this before, and I managed to pluck up the courage and say that I had.

On the way back from comic con, she thanked me for helping with her lashes and said that I had done a good job. In an effort to stretch it into a longer conversation I mentioned about how I always felt sleepy when I had them on because my eyes weren't used to the extra weight of the lashes. She agreed but the conversation didn't continue.

So I left it at that. Progress? I dunno. I hope that she's wondering if I'm still interested though, and maybe there will be another conversation down the line...

~Leliani~

[Princess Grandpa]

If nothing else comes of it, you know your not hiding and lying. IMHO that's huge!

Hug
Rita

[Brenda456]

It is great that the two of you can talk a bit about it. That beats hiding everything.

[heatherdress]

Maybe you could mention how it makes you feel when you wear heels or eyelashes, it might spark interest from you wife. If she knows that it gave you pleasure, or excitement or relieved stress - maybe that would register better than technical knowledge about application or style. Keep trying.

[Tina B.]

Could also be she remembers the "talk" five years ago, understood your reference, and really just doesn't want to talk about it. Some wives seem to prefer to act like they don't know, rather than have to deal with it straight on, but really, they know.
At least, she not a stop it or else kind of woman, that's a good thing.

[Amanda22]

By posting this, I'll assume you want opinions. My opinion is that you should tell her what's on your mind. You know better than anyone else how she'll handle it. But now might be a great time to get it all out in the open. Your feeling of "going behind her back" when you dress must be so uncomfortable. Good luck.

[suzanne]

Your wife is like mine in some ways. She does NOT want to talk about my femininity, although she has gotten used to seeing me dressed and even offers me compliments when she likes what I'm wearing.

It wasn't always this good. It has taken a long time to get from "I can't stand the sight of you" to "You look nice', which is how she reacted today to my pink sheath dress and black 2" high strappy sandals. It seems to me your wife is slowly overcoming her misgivings about you as she realizes your interest in CD doesn't go away, and that her fears about you are not becoming reality. Stay the course with lots of love and patience.

[Rachelakld]

She may not want it rubbed in her face, my wife often borrows my makeup when she runs out.

[leliani]

Thank you everyone's or your suggestions and support. I'm just gonna keep Riding the waves I guess. I mentioned that we should go out for haloween, and have some fun downtown. She then said that I should go dressed as Princess Leia jokingly. I replied half jokingly that I'd have to shave my legs then... But it seems like I have an opportunity here to keep an open dialogue. Or at least I hope I do...

[Beverley Sims]

Leliani,
You are wise to leave it there, I would just chip away a little bit at a time.
You are more likely of acceptance if you can continue like that.

[Amanda22]

She then said that I should go dressed as Princess Leia jokingly.

Of course no one knows what she is really thinking, but that sure sounds like an invitation to me. Take her up on it, and don't wait until Halloween.

[RT_IsMe]

I mentioned that we should go out for haloween, and have some fun downtown. She then said that I should go dressed as Princess Leia jokingly. I replied half jokingly that I'd have to shave my legs then...

My wife knows that I like dressing and has even dressed me in a couple things while we have been fooling around. When we went on a cruise a few years ago it was over Halloween, and I suggested to her that since we would be away from home where no one knows us, that we should dress up on the cruise. I suggested that we go as cop and prostitute and she said that there was no way she was dressing as a prostitute. I told her that I was thinking that she would be the cop.

Sadly she did not go for that either.

RT

[meganmichelle]

The best advice I can give you is the advice I received when I came out to my fiance. Crossdressing is something that will always be a part of your life. The one person you should be able to talk to about this is your wife. I realize it is a scary thing to do but if you want any hope of being able to dress more openly then this is a conversation you must have. Since you already had the conversation once she should not be shocked by the conversation. Even if the conversation does go south at least you will have a definitive answer on how she views the situation. Please don't take this advice to harsh. I just believe you should feel comfortable talking about anything with your wife.

[leliani]

Sadly she did not go for that either.

RT

Sorry to hear that. To be completely honest I'm not entirely sure I want my wife to see me dressed. My feminine side is just that... ONE side of me. I still enjoy being male...just every now and then I need to let me femme side out. But I just want her to know that. And it's freakin tough!

[Stephanie47]

If you're comfortable with where you and your wife are at the present I'd say 'Don't Push It.' I understand the feeling of "sneaking around" when dressing. Contrary to what others may say, it's not "sneaking around" at all. You and your wife have made a tacit unstated agreement to avoid exploring the issue. You do not sound as if you want to "parade" around the house en femme in front of her. And, it does not appears she will give you an ultimatum to "stop it" or else!

I don't know if you have kids home or if your wife works. When "Stephanie" got really frustrated I took a "therapy day" off from work. That gave Stephanie seven hours to "play." I would feel very uncomfortable showing Stephanie to my wife.