I need to educate myself. First time dating CD.

[MysticLady]

The tiresome questions bit that was brought up... Is very annoying. My future wife just started posting here and that is pretty disrespectful. It would made me pretty upset actually if she had questions and got that response.

Hi Blue, I'm sorry, but I believe I lost you somehow, Nicole may have been a little rough but she really is nice. Other than that, I see nothing but support and respect for Sarah. Please elaborate on your thoughts.

Firstly, thank you to everyone who reached out to help expand my understanding if all this.

Sarah, believe it or not, it is you that has "allowed" yourself to be at peace w/ this. You have decided that you will not be "afraid" of yourself which in turn makes you "not afraid" of the man that you Love. Congratulate Yourself Sweetie.

OK so my first response was not so nice so here are some other things that should help

You See, She really is a kitty even though she may roar like a lioness.

My mind is at ease and I'm just enjoying all the special moments we share together. I feel that I am just the luckiest right now (:

I'm very happy that you feel this way. Isn't it wonderful too be in Love w/o trying to analyze it.

[Sarah2770]

[QUOTE=MysticLady;3230565]Hi Blue, I'm sorry, but I believe I lost you somehow, Nicole may have been a little rough but she really is nice. Other than that, I see nothing but support and respect for Sarah. Please elaborate on your thoughts.

I agree... I feel that there was TREMENDOUS support and love here. I was so touched by that in fact. When I told my boyfriend I only had one "mean response" he read it and said "that's not mean, it's just their opinion." hahaha. But Nicole came back with some information and clearly has been redeemed (;

I have absolutely no complaints!!

And unconditional love without over analysis is something I've been waiting all my life for. That's how I know this time is the real thing. Thanks again everyone!

[ThiHi]

What a fabulous thread. With true, unselfish Love, all things are possible. To those that doubt a real relationship is possible, i'm here to tell you it is. Good for both of you, Sarah, for finding each other. I'm smiling to see such happiness.

[Sometimes Steffi]

My recommendation... follow your gut... you see it, he is shy to admit it. What you need to do is go full out. Help him experience everything he needs to in order to understand where he needs to go... My own experience, was once I admitted to myself that I needed to do all I could to explore I accepted myself, I learned I can live a pretty much average life and CDing is just the icing on the cake if I choose... before, I was hiding too much, felt like I was holding back, was scared, etc etc... it impacts everything in your life to repress something. The way I felt, if I died tomorrow, would I not have done what I needed to do in my life...so I did it and now I feel great.

I guess I'd like to second this. He may be shy or unsure of himself and would love some help. Or he may be disturbed in some way by this part of his personality, and want or need to go slow.

One easy thing to do is to buy something appropriate for him, either lingerie, or a dress, but something appropriate. Then leave it somewhere he'll find it, but let him choose if he wants to wear it without any pressure from you.

If you don't have a sister, do you have a like-thinking cousin?

[Sarah2770]

Unfortunately, I don't really know any like minded humans at this given moment. Although, I wish I did. My bf and I just got back from a nice get away in the woods. Really roughing it. It was awesome and we got to do a lot of talking. I got to clear my head without the stress of everyday life and I finally feel like my mind has completely wrapped around the information I've been getting. I am so grateful for our honesty and how it seems to never falter. It's unfortunate that not everyone can open their hearts like this. Love comes into your life in very unexpected ways, embracing the opportunity is rly the only way to find that one person that really is meant for you. And people wonder why they're so lonely.

I'm glad that everyone seemed to enjoy this thread and my experience has sparked such an interest. It makes me hopeful that my relationship with him will withstand whatever may lie ahead. We work so well together and your encouragement for open communication and honesty has proven to be the best advice. Thanks again everyone!!

[MissTee]

Hey Sarah,

Welcome to the forum. Always glad to read stories of supporting SO's and loving couples who have learned to stay positive about CDing. For what it's worth, my wife and I have been together for 35 years. She supports my CDing. Sees it as just a part of the whole me. For all these years I've not shared it with anyone but her, and want to keep it that way. I like being a man and am in man mode most of the time. I do love to "get my girl on" and dress on occasion (few times a month.) Usually it's with the wife's support and help and we love, love getting away for a week or so dress up when we can. Again, always just us (private mountain retreat.) We enjoy shopping together both in person and on-line, and she appreciates what she calls my fashion sense.

Anyway, things can and do work out. Good luck to you two!

[Sarah2770]

It's been a while since I visited this forum. All due to good things that have been happening. My bf and I have really been enjoying our time together and getting to know each other on many different levels. All is as well (if not better) as it was. I continue to learn more and more about his wants and desires and I just hope he isn't holding back.

I am not a lesbian Lucy, per say... I like to think of myself as sexually fluid. It's not about gender or race, etc. It's about the person I have found a connection with. So long as that's there I believe anyone can have a healthy and happy relationship. Our biggest thing has been communication and honesty. Still going strong on that front and I couldn't be happier.

I too hope our journey lasts forever, after this, no man could live up to my expectations. He's a perfect match for me. *Swoon*

I hope there are other women who have read this that may be going through similar experiences. Id like to think that maybe our story will help other couples that may be struggling throughout this learning process.

Anyway, thanks again everyone!! (:

[sherri]

OK so my first response was not so nice so here are some other things that should help -
Just talk to him about if he wants to become a woman. You already knows he CD's so it is not like the cat isn't out of the bag. He is more likely to be truthful.
He probably doesn't want to. Figure like this - Take all the males who dress as women either sometimes or all the time. Most of them don't actually want to be women.
You do have a few who want to become women but then reality sets in with possible costs or the fact that living as a woman changes one's life. They decide their career, family, etc are more important so they never act on it.

So ultimately, it is unlikely that you will lose your man.
Moreover - the only TS who really pass well naked are the ones who started young and had really strong feminine traits to begin with. If "natural feminine traits" doesn't describe your man, you have next to nothing to worry about

I want to second this. I'm not trying to speak for your bf, but I think it's important to stress that for me -- and many others, I suspect -- I have no desire to become a woman (HRT, SRS, etc), but at the same time feminine expression is very important to me because it's part of who I am, inside and outside. Not only am I not interested in tricking people, I actually want them to know and understand that I am blended gender person.

And while we're all susceptible to pink fog, it stabilizes after awhile. That said, I also have a deep-seated need to escape the confines of the closet and interact with the world as a femme person in carefully selected ways. But -- and this is a big but -- I am realistic about our society and the realities of life, so I have no interest in jeopardizing job, family relationships, community standing, etc. These constraints tend to keep the femme thing in check to some extent, and that can help in keeping it under control within a relationship.

Also, I'm single and thus free to explore sexual interests across genders, but I would have no problem shelving all that in exchange for a meaningful monogamous relationship if that's what one or both of us needed. It's really no different than the faithfulness normally committed to by couples, regardless of genders.

[Tracii G]

I'm happy for you both Sarah.

[MysticLady]

It's been a while since I visited this forum. All due to good things that have been happening. My bf and I have really been enjoying our time together and getting to know each other on many different levels. All is as well (if not better) as it was. I continue to learn more and more about his wants and desires and I just hope he isn't holding back.

Hi Sarah, I'm so happy for you in that everything is working fine. I'm a little concerned of the latter part of your statement. You hope that he does not hold back. Be Careful. First, you're being intimate w/ him w/o a commitment. He's getting free milk. Second, He's young I believe as you are and He may not be mature enough to handle his feelings regarding this. He may decide that He needs a CD partner for sex, just to "amplify" his feelings regarding this. That's where you need to draw the line. My first suggestion may be difficult already because he's already tasted you. Stop giving him free milk. Men, enjoy that and unfortunately some men use that to their advantage. Second, Set your boundaries regarding others to fulfill a fantasy. He must learn to fulfill all his fantasies w/ you and you only if he is serious about you. Just looking out for you, kiddo.

[vanitysumers]

I am glad you are here and have fun exploring all the things you will learn from him.

there are many women who love this

and then there is this incident
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...31#post3248931

Let's see how long this relationship lasts.
The problem is that a lot of women say they are accepting etc but eventually they decide they want a normal life and the fact that their B/F dresses up or wants to become a woman doesn't fit into the picture.