Lori, I cannot pretend that I can give advice on this, you have far more insight than i ever will.
My one comment is that YOU ARE NORMAL DEAR!
It is societal reaction and peer pressure that is not normal, and never will be for girls in our position. Yes, that makes us fell that it is we who are not normal because we are not fitting into the "expected role." But it is not you, it is them. Our situation is just so thought provoking and mind bending, that even the closest allies can find themselves stretched to the breaking point over what is right, and what is safe.
Go, or not, please do have the talk and let her know how deeply you felt this.
Barbara
