Do you feel female

[Melaniexox]

Well I JUST started this week so I have lots to work on but to answer you questions

#1) I do feel very feminine and girly yes

#2) I actaully got enough confidence to go through a drive through convienece store the other morning in feeme to order a pack of ciggerettes, The lady came to the window amd i simply assked for the smokes in my girliest voice! I passed her the money she passed me the cigeretttes and change and I dove off with the biggest smile on my face ever She didn't even I.D which was the main thing! At that point I felt like I was a girl. I had passed in society. I drove home and passed many vehicles on the way. I felt I had accomplished my first goal I carried myself as a girl and I didnt get any strange looks!! Or at least i think?

[Kelly Smith]

I'll take a mulligan on this one.

I don't know if I feel female when I'm dressed. I feel different but have no way of knowing if that difference is the difference between feeling male and feeling female.

Heck, I don't even know how it feels to be male. I only know how it feels to inhabit my consciousness.

[jenni_xx]

To answer the OP's questions

1) I am a man. I, as does no other man, have any idea what it actually feels like to be female.

2) When I go out, I just wear what I want to wear. For me, I like (what are regarded to be) women's clothes. So I wear them.

I don't have any desire to pass as a woman.

You ask "how do you feel about being a woman" - my answer is I am not a woman, and clothes, make-up, accessories, whatever, are material things that do not encapsulate what being a woman actually is. A transsexual person I would imagine will say the same thing. I myself am not transsexual.

For me, it isn't about trying to be something I'm not. It's rather about expressing myself, wearing what I do like. And as an individual, and an adult, I make a conscious choice to wear what I want to wear. If others don't like it, if people feel as though my attire doesn't fit into a "gender stereotype", then they are more than welcome to feel that way, just as much as I feel I am more than welcome to express myself as I deem fit.

But social "constrictions" do have an affect. On the people I care about. For I realised long ago that it isn't just about me, but also about how people who I care about perceive me, and welcome me, and accept me. Throughout our lives, we filter people - from being children when we form friends, to high school when other friends are formed, often resulting in losing contact with the initial friends we made (either through choice, or circumstance). To adulthood - the point being, we all change, and how much the people who we are surrounded by, who we choose to be surrounded by, all play a part in such change and development.

And yet through all those changes (that we all go through), I can point to one thing that is current in my life now, that was a part of my life when I went through all those changes, that was kind of a "shut and lock the outside world out" part of my life - and that is my intent, willingness, and desire not to subdue a need that felt inherent within me. Realising such a need, and more to the point, accepting such a need, helped me in terms of my own development as a human being. So by that very token, it clearly is something more than just clothes. So despite what I said earlier - about such things being nothing more than material - on the contrary, such things become comfort items - psychologically and physiologically. External signifiers that are able to encapsulate my inner self.

And acceptance plays a huge part of that. And as a result, it becomes something personal - something inherent within me. I am a man. I have no idea what it is like to be a female - to be a woman. Yet I like what society deems to be, fashions that are traditionally ascribed to a gender opposite to my own. To which my only conclusion to that can be - so what? Just go with it. It is a part of life. It does no harm to no-one. So by that very rationale, it is something that I don't have to, nor should, feel guilty about. And upon reaching that conclusion, the only logical choice to make in terms of stepping forward, is to enjoy it. For myself.

[Melissa Rose]

Seems to me that communication around this issue would be helped if we used different language than "feminine" and "masculine."

.....because many of the people who come here like the fantasy that they've attached to the word "feminine."

Jess, I think you perfectly framed the issue as being related to more language and word choice factors than actual feelings. We associate some behaviors and feelings along gender lines, but they are not what defines the essence of being male or female (man or woman) nor are they required to be male or female. There is a fair amount of imagination and fantasy at play which is not bad unless it becomes unhealthy or harmful. Behaviors and actions change to fulfill the fantasy or fulfill the role one is imagining they are playing.

Whenever a CD says "I feel like a woman when wearing _____" or "Or wearing _____ makes me feel like a woman", I ask them "How do you know what being a woman feels like?". It is erroneously associating the different feelings or emotions (real or imagined) experienced or behaviors expressed when dressing to the feelings or emotions universally experienced by women. The association is flawed. If you put on complete firefighters gear, do you know what it feels like to be a firefighter? How it feels to enter a burning structure at the risk of your personal safety? I doubt it. You may feel partially different or express yourself slightly differently than your usual self, but it is not knowing what being a firefighter is like. Wearing an external "costume" does not change the essence of who you are inside. It may change the way you express your feelings and emotions or you allow yourself to express ones held back for various reasons, but they have always been there in one form or another (i.e., your innate personality does not change upon dressing differently). Also, you may act in a way that helps to fulfill the fantasy, but it is just acting unless originating naturally from within.

I understand the overall sentiment behind the statement, and I do not think harm or disrespect is meant by it; however, in some ways, it is insulting to women. It is saying clothes, makeup, hair, heels, etc. and how you feel wearing them in part defines being female or a woman. Flipping it around, does dressing gender neutral (e.g., basic jeans; loose fitting, plain crew neck t-shirt; white sneakers) make a woman feel like less than one? The women I know say they just feel like themselves. They may feel pretty, sexy or soft when dressed in a specific way, but not any more or less female than other times. I know on the rare days I wear heels to work, I am not thinking about how womanly I feel (or sound) or feeling more womanly because I'm wearing heels, but occasionally I think about how my feet are going to start hurting towards the end of the day and hoping I remembered where I put my flats, or remind myself to be more careful when going up and down the stairs. These would be universal to anyone wearing high heels and not limited to one gender or another. Except in these occasional moments, I am focused on my job or whoever I am talking with or whatever generic issue I'm dealing with at the moment.

There is nothing wrong with dressing for whatever feelings it brings to you and how you do it. There are a bunch of reasons and what is gained from it, and it is all good. There is nothing wrong with the feelings and fantasies either. Enjoy and savor it, but saying you feel a like a woman or female is like almost equivalent to saying you know what it feels like to be a rabbit when wearing an Easter bunny costume.

[MatildaJ.]

saying you feel a like a woman or female is like almost equivalent to saying you know what it feels like to be a rabbit when wearing an Easter bunny costume.

Thanks for the chuckle!

[mersades]

As I said in a post last year: "Because I like to wear a bra and girdle under a dress. And because I like to wear high heels and nylons, not pantyhose. And because I like to wear makeup and have long hair styled nicely. And yet, I don't want to be a woman or to be held or kissed by a man."

[TheMissus]

Flipping it around, does dressing gender neutral (e.g., basic jeans; loose fitting, plain crew neck t-shirt; white sneakers) make a woman feel like less than one? The women I know say they just feel like themselves. They may feel pretty, sexy or soft when dressed in a specific way, but not any more or less female than other times

I never feel different depending on what I'm wearing. What is different is the reactions of others when I'm dressed 'sexy' for dinner etc. People of both genders stare more, and men definitely pay more attention even though I'm with my H!

I've always felt a little uncomfortable with this side of 'feminine' clothing. My H thinks it's the best part, lol.

[ReineD]

I never feel different depending on what I'm wearing. What is different is the reactions of others when I'm dressed 'sexy' for dinner etc.

Me too. I think it is only (some, not all) CDers who feel differently when they wear certain clothes. And for those who would ask, "Don't you FEEL sexy when you wear sexy clothes?" My answer is that sometimes when I wear sexy clothes I feel aroused, and sometimes I don't feel aroused. And sometimes I feel aroused when I'm not wearing sexy clothes too. In other words, my arousal is not tied to wearing sexy clothes. :p

Also, to echo Kelly Smith in #52, I have absolutely no clue how it would feel to be my best female friend, my female neighbor, my mother, or anyone else. We all have different personality traits, backgrounds, experiences, ways of looking at things. I only know what it feels like to be me.

[Lorna]

There are at least two senses of the expression "feel like a woman". The first, as so many have said, relates to emotions and attitudes - i.e. to know how a woman feels about things, her sentiments, her reasoning, her emotions, etc. I doubt whether a man can experience that, regardless of clothing.

The sense in which I want to feel like a woman is of a more physical kind - and, for me, is mainly related to the clothing. What I mean is tht I can, to some degree, experience the sensations that a woman experiences when wearing female clothing. I know what it is like to have a bra round my chest and its straps over my shoulders; I know how nylon stockings feel as I walk; I know the different feelings that come from a tight skirt and from a flared one; I know what a girdle feels like on my tummy and my bottom; I know the feelings of unsteadiness in high heels; I know the feeling of airiness in a light dress on a breezy day..... To that extent I think I have some idea of what it feels like physically for a woman wearing those clothes. Even then, I accept that my different shape, my different anatomy and other factors mean that the feelings are not exactly the same.

[ReineD]

What I mean is tht I can, to some degree, experience the sensations that a woman experiences when wearing female clothing.

But that's just it! A woman experiences the same thing when she wears her clothes, as a man experiences when he wears his: nothing. She is not acutely aware of all the sensations like the CDers!

We are not conscious of our clothes as we move about our day-to-day lives. I only ever feel a bra when it is ill-fitting. Bras should be comfortable and go unnoticed, just like anything else. I do feel a coat tug at the shoulders and armpits if I am wearing two sizes too small, which is an indication that I should not buy that coat. I'm so used to wearing skirts or nylons, that I do not notice them when I have them on any more than when I am wearing shorts, jeans, or socks. Also, very few of us wear girdles, and those of us who wear heels on a regular basis do not feel unsteady when wearing them.

I do understand that a man who has just shaved his legs for the first time and puts on a pair of nylons and a skirt will feel significantly different than when his legs are unshaved and he is wearing pants. But, this is not feeling like a woman, really. It is feeling like a CDer who has just shaved his legs and who is wearing nylons and a skirt.

[natalialimapoa]

I think that a good way to understand this issue (for me) is changing the situation a little bit: thinking like a FTM CD.

A FTM CD feel like a man, so, sometimes she doesnt see herself delicate and feminine, and the girl clothes start to feel inappropriate and uncomfortable. Her breasts do not match with her feeling.

So what she does? Try to use masculine clothes and hide her breasts, to be more congruent with her personality. And thats how it works with me and with a lot of MTF CDs.

The clothes are just a consequence.

[julie marie1]

Not really. I just enjoy the experience of appearing female.

[Lorna]

We are not conscious of our clothes as we move about our day-to-day lives.
I do understand that a man who has just shaved his legs for the first time and puts on a pair of nylons and a skirt will feel significantly different than when his legs are unshaved and he is wearing pants. But, this is not feeling like a woman, really. It is feeling like a CDer who has just shaved his legs and who is wearing nylons and a skirt.

Of course you're right. I do know that on the few occasions when I am able to dress for more than an hour or so - and especially if it's for a whole day and I have things to do - I do indeed begin to forget or at least ignore what I'm wearing. Unfortunately I have never had the chance to dress for a really lengthy period but I accept that, eventually, it would become "normal" for me and I might even begin to wear trousers, flat shoes, etc. by choice - just as the "real" women do!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Deebra, When I get dressed ad se a great looking lady in the mirror I feel feminine.

[ReineD]

Unfortunately I have never had the chance to dress for a really lengthy period ...

Yes, that does explain the focus on how the feminine clothes feel compared to your male clothes.

[heatherdress]

1. I feel like a male dressed as a female - but I feel great.
2. I wish I could change my size and shape when dressed to appear more feminine - but I do the best I can to appear feminine, I feel sexy and I enjoy the look of female make up, clothing, jewelry and heels on my male body.

Although I do not feel I am a female, I do feel different - more sensitive, softer, understanding, sexy, happy.

[Jorja]

I only feel women when I touch them.

[Celina]

1. I feel like a male dressed as a female - but I feel great.
2. I wish I could change my size and shape when dressed to appear more feminine - but I do the best I can to appear feminine, I feel sexy and I enjoy the look of female make up, clothing, jewelry and heels on my male body.

Although I do not feel I am a female, I do feel different - more sensitive, softer, understanding, sexy, happy.

Spot on Heather! You pretty much sum up, how I feel when I dress up too!

[GeorgeA]

I think that it all comes down to acting. When you put on a dress, lingerie & nylons you are playing a role of a woman. Just as an actor playing Hamlet, etc. does not think he's Hamlet but still has to put himself into the mood of a medieval man. The more he can put himself into this mood the better actor he is and the character becomes more realistic.

[linny_aggy]

why not ?
...when i'm Lynn then every thing is her..if i move around then it must be a guy who shud be walking next to me..i will love to dance n let him lead me just as i wud expect him to open the door for me..and I'll play my part with elegance & much ladylike..
But that's the fantasy, and the moment i am..well, me..then i will continue to ogle at gurls !!

[Allison Quinn]

1. Yes to feeling female c: I am one inside technically I guess ^^
2. Of course if I were able to just leave the parts I would :P I don't dress for pleasure really c: I just dress because I like to

[Patrice_CD]

It's so interesting to come back to these forums after being gone for sometime and read the questions raised as some try to find answers and information. To answer the OP's question. I don't feel like a woman, I am a woman.

[AmandaPanda]

1 When you crossdress do you feel as though you are female, wheather it's closeted in your home or going out in public?

when i dress and leave the house i have the mindset of a female, if i think im a man in a dress people will see me as a man in a dress

2 When dressed (if possible) would you like to go public with a well built female body under your female clothing and leave all your male parts at home; or would you like to keep those parts and be a MtF crossdresser. Would you get the same pleasure of being female and just wearing normal female clothes which would become just normal and miss the exhilaration of successfully pulling off and passing as a MtF CD in public?

yes i wish i had a magic thong, wig, heels, or whatever that when i slide into it i was looking at a GG in the mirror but thats not realistic but i take every outing as a test run to see what worked and what didnt and go home make the changes and try again