Prelude
My wife was going through her jewelry deciding what to keep, what to sell, and what to donate.
Question
Would you consider donating some of the jewelry to me instead of Goodwill?
Answer
See above
Well, you have to give me props for having the temerity to try, anyhow.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
Stef, your wife has a different emotional connection to her jewelry/accessories than you do to yours. Get inside her brain, and understand her way of thinking.
Yeah, been there with regards to clothing. Sorry, such a waste. So close, and yet so far.
For some women, jewelry is MORE personal than undies! Just sayin'----
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Steffi,
You do have to do as Nathalie says, get inside your wife's brain.
You should phrase the question in a different way.
ie. "That is lovely do you need to get rid of it"?
Or, "I like that when you wear it don't give it away."
It may be insincere and lies, but it is better than saying the obvious sometimes.
See what reaction you get then.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
That's too bad Steffi. The right jewelry can make the outfit. My wife was going through some of her jewelry she does not use often, so no real connection to it, and asked me if I wanted any before she donated it. I feel very lucky. She calls me her life size Barbie doll and likes to try new make-up and jewelry combinations on me.
Actually Steffi, I can see where asking for her old things is NOT a good idea. It seems harmless... but women have an extra built in sympathy gene. She wants to give it to someone in real need. Also, at one time she may have worn certain items that remind her of a fun time, some emotional connection. Now, maybe overall she is ok about your CDing, but I can see where even though it may not be one of the boundaries or agreements, it crosses a certain invisible point, at least emotionally for her. Maybe she feels that hey, my husband has a job and should save and go out and buy his own. This stuff will do more for a woman that was abandoned by a douche bag who left her with a couple of small kids and no money. She is more deserving than her CD husband looking for free handouts. There may be a time where she will donate something to you, or buy something for you, but it will be on her terms and her generosity, not you asking.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
You having her jewelry is not the issue. It is probably you trying to be you that is. On the surface, I would say that if she knows that you dress, then she is being selfish regardless how "personal" her jewelry is, which must me costume, not the real stuff, since she is donating it to a thrift store. If she can throw it out, she can give it to you. The thing is that seeing you wear anything of hers probably is just one very big turn off. Good luck.
My SO is just the opposite I guess. When she was doing some cleaning two weeks ago she asked me if I wanted anything she was getting rid of. Polishes, jewelry, old clothes that may have fit me but not her etc. Unfortunately none of it appealed to me.
Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!
Well just say that your going to go buy it for yourself then specially if is a nice piece, hugs
[SIZE="3"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"]Stacy Lynn Coral[/SIZE]
...you have to consider who you were when you were asking... is it the husband joking around...or props you want for a costume or for CDing... Could also be the concept of cleaning out your house... if stuff keeps coming back in the door then you are not really cleaning up. And maybe there is a memory associated the the jewlery that she wants to discard.
Chickie
True, but that thought made me smile.Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
Hi Steffi , Was it the way that you asked her did she think that you were serious.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~...
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
My wife gives me clothing and jewelry she no longer wants or that no longer fits her. I also have "permission" to borrow her things if I want to. She will sometimes buy me jewelry or clothing if she is shopping by herself or out of town.
A marriage is supposed to be a partnership and her giving away things and you going out spending money on similar things for yourself just doesn't make sense.
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
There are certain things my wife has that she is not willing to share with me, among them and primarily is her jewelry. I don't really understand why but I leave it at that, we had a short discussion about it one time when she found me wearing her pearls. She told me if I wanted pearls I needed to get my own, and these were one's I had given her. Just have to understand, and not cross the lines that get set.
"It takes all kinds of kinds" Miranda Lambert
Now some point a finger and let ignorance linger
If they'd look in the mirror they'd find.
That ever since the beginning to keep the world spinning
It takes all kinds of kinds.
If you often "borrow" her jewelry, do you see how it might feel like you were thinking about yourself when you bought the jewelry, and not thinking about her at all? My husband bought me a sexy red-head wig a few years ago, and it seemed like a fun gift at the time; but when I realized that he actually wanted to wear the wig, then the gift didn't seem so fun any more. It seemed sad.
Suppose I bought you a car but then I drove it all the time -- doesn't seem so generous a present, does it?
My wife lets my wear her jewelry but it is (HERS) and it get put back!
Angie
To answer some questions:
Yes, I think she knew I was serious.
She is not really that into jewelry, and I've hardly bought her any since the engagement ring.
I have never dressed in front of her, and she is so adamently against the idea, that I rpobably never will. And I accept that.
I would never borrow her jewelry, but if she's donating it to Goodwill, that is only one step away from throwing it out.
The truth is, I have a lot of my own jewelry and don't really need hers. Nothing that she was giving away was anything tht I would kill for. It just would have been nice to have the emotional connection of wearing something that had been hers. And there were a number of clip earrings in the batch.
In some sense, I was planting the seed in her mind to consider me when she is discarding unwanted clothes or jewelry. Maybe some day in the future, the seed I planted will grow.
Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 10-16-2013 at 09:44 PM.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
The jewelry has been sitting out on the dining room table for two weeks now.
I have to walk past it several times daily knowing that I can't have ot.
Aaggh
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
It seems to me that you have some communications and marital issues to work out....
It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !
From past experience I can say some women are very possesive about their stuff. After I mentioned mybdressing to my last long term gf (now exgf) the ****. Oh did I say that out loud?? It took her awhile to accept it which to a point she did, but the first thing she said was "just stay out of my closet" even though she did buy me a few things of my own. So if it theirs, they just feel like you are overstepping some kind of boundry.
Erica
Her reaction was a firm message that the seed is DOA
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
Ask her if she's going to leave it on the dining room table forever.
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
Without going back into your previous posts I'm going to take a stab at the question. If your wife is not totally on board with your cross dressing, I'd say it would be same as wearing her clothes. The thought of a man wearing anything that belongs to a wife is repugnant to many women. When my wife and I were sorting out my cross dressing she accused me once of keeping one of her discarded nightgowns. I assured her I didn't which was the truth. It would not have fit properly anyway. The thought of me wearing her clothes just set her off.
Too bad she won't let you have your pick. I can understand her reasoning if she is not supportive of your femme side. If she had, it could have been a subtle sign of acceptance.
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