Hi Marsha
I'm very sorry to hear about the problems you and your wife are having. I wanted to offer you this.
When people experience a traumatic event, they go through a process called "SARA" which stands for Shock, Anger, Readjustment, Acceptance. People have to go through all four parts of this process before it's all over, which is why the last part is Acceptance.
People go through each step at their own pace as well. It sounds like your wife went right from Shock to Anger. She may stay there for a long time before getting to the Readjustment part which is the critical part. As in Barbara Gordon's case above, her wife decided she still loved him, but could not be married to him.
Remember also that YOU are going through SARA too.
I wish you and your wife all of the luck in the world and I hope things work out well for you. I think your decission to seak councling together is the right step.
