Dressing in front of wife

[Brooke H]

Hey everyone

Just wanting to get your thoughts on the following. My wife does not know of my crossdressing, however she bought these winter pajama bottoms that felt so soft and I told her that and she said did I want some. I said " yes they feel like they would be so comfy rather than what I have. So she bought me some and I wear them. They are white with purple flowers on them and tie up with a purple ribbon. Do you think this is a sign that she would be fine with my crossdressing if I told her.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Hi Brooke. While a promising development I think you might be overly optimistic that this is the green light to full bore CD. If I were you, I would ask her if she finds it disturbing or alarming to see you wearing women's PJs. Emphasize "women's". See what she says. Then maybe mention that in addition to finding them very comfortable, that you also think it's a bit kinky and exciting to be wearing women's clothes, and that you like the way they look. Emphasis on "clothes", and "look". You'll be testing the waters and by her reaction you can gauge if she's open to anything more. Or she'll shut you down, and then you have to decide if you want risk revealing your desires anyway.

This is just an idea, my opinion on how I would approach it. I'm sure you'll get lots of other feedback.

Welcome to the forum and good luck,

Shibumi

[Dana3]

No you're reading into it but it may be an opening to a long term ongoing dialogueon the subject

[Brooke H]

Thanks for your quick replies. I'm not thinking about just coming out fully to her, I realize it doesn't mean anything exactly. She did say to me one night when I had them on, " look at my crossdressing husband" and she had a smile on her face. I have come close to telling her about my crossdressing but I figure I will probably end up always keeping it to myself .

[Taylor186]

It could go the other way too. My wife (then girlfriend) thought my Halloween crossdressing was edgy and cool until I told her I really was a crossdresser. Then her view of it totally changed and not for the better. We did get through it though.

[Julie Gaum]

There was a long thread yesterday voicing both sides of this subject --- Do I tell? Do I hide? Is it a lie or is it a sin of omission? It boiled down to
"circumstances" that vary widely. Rather than go into the details that you'll find for yourself on this Forum, consider: How long have you been married?; Are there children? If you were to test the waters for acceptance that may take years to accomplish --- are there work place factore or close family -her's and your's - to consider? Early acceptance by an SO, be it partially, with reservations or compromises of boundaries - all come into play. Consider too that CDing is not a new inclination for you but will be a sudden revelation to the spouse that may take time to wrap her mind around this new persona of a person that was not the one she had married.
The fact that she used the word "crossdressing" may or may not mean that she knows anything about the varities and degrees practiced --- the buzz word you will hear on this Forum is "slowly" --- take it very slowly as you test the waters. More than 55 years ago my then new wife bought two pairs of PJs for the cold winter nights in Albany, NY, when I first went to work for Montgomery Wards. Within a week I outed myself to her. Likely she thought it was a passing phase as CDing was a little known topic in the 1950s. Nevertheless, though I underdressed most of the time for the following 50 plus years there was no further discussion --- it was DADT for all that time. My fault for not communicating better? Of course!
\Julie

[cdsara]

maybe suggest something alone the lines of wearing panties or something like that and see how she reacts? What do you all think would that work?

[lingerieLiz]

Every situation is different. How your wife will react is only known when it happens. Most women (my wife being one) would prefer not. But many will accept and some will enjoy it. One of the bad things about wives finding out is that they then wonder what else you may be hiding.

[Ceri Anne]

I'm still in the closet with my wife. She has not responded favorable to my hints or attempts to bring up related topics. That said, I think things look promising for you, but as said above, there is no guarantee, and you must proceed slowly. I wish you the best of luck, and look forward to hearing how it goes.

[Rachelakld]

For me, honestly is best policy, yet i recommend slow developments, maybe ask if there is a matching top, or ask for her opinion if you could try on some warm panty hose in the winter

[Brooke H]

She has let me wear her tights before, I was working in a cold area and my thermals were in the wash so she took out her tights and told me to wear them.

[Jenniferathome]

No. It's not a sign. A sign would be her asking if you cross dress. Women don't think about cross dressing.

And let me add that you can not hint your way in to disclosure. If you want to tell her, and I recommend you do, do it once, do it prepared, and do it sincerely with nothing held back.

[Beverley Sims]

No it is not a sign. You have made some inroads there but wear the whole ensemble in the winter and let her get used to your appearance of pink bunny rabbits running all over you.
I started to wear satin pajamas many years ago, it only took two more years to make further inroads.

[Rachelakld]

As CDers we tend to come across as devious and boundary pushers, so one option would be to move slowly and if you see her in something nice - reply by asking her if you could borrow it (leggings, t-shirt tops, mascara, eventually blouse or skirt) and work up to fully dressed without a wig. She will probably ask you at some stage if your interested in cross dressing so a YES, followed with "are you gay?"

Or option 2, just say how lovely she looks and you wish you had the opportunity to be dressed to look so beautiful.
Or option 3, just tell her you like to dress in womens clothes (and duck, because she will feel the years of your hidden secret)

Or option 4, "accidently" discover a web page like mine or the many others, and ask her opinion on the subject

[Brooke H]

Thanks again for all your suggestions and tips so far. I agree with taking it slowly and as I said before I'm not sure if I will ever find the courage to tell her. It would be great if she knew but I can also just continue hiding it, like I have since I started 15 years ago at the age of 11.

[Destinë]

This sounds quite familiar. A few months ago, we bought my wife new underwear. When we got in, I asked her to model it for me. She told me to go first. I made it known when I put them on how nice they felt. She bought me my own the next day! (I didn't like to tell her I already had more than she did)

[AmyGaleRT]

I first dressed in front of my fiancee the same night I told her...but I did ask her first. Her first comment was, "I'm jealous, you look more feminine than I do!"

She has no problems seeing me as Amy; in fact, she likes to see how Amy is dressed once my transformation is complete, especially if I'm going out. Just today, I received a shipment of two dresses I'd ordered, one for her, one for me. I showed her the one I got her, and she went, "Yay!" Then I came out to the living room modeling the one I got for me, and she said, "Oh, that's really nice!"

- Amy

[Miss Trish]

Hello,
My wife asked me to dress. She was afraid to ask at first so she tested the waters with asking me to wear her panties and making little comments. It has progressed to completely dressing (dresses, heels, stockings, wig, etc.). I asked her why she likes me to dress. She said it really turns her on. She likes the look of a masculine, muscular man in women's clothes.

[Joanne f]

Well at least you know that she is not afraid of the word " Cross dressing " but at the moment it is anyone's guess as to how far she would be willing to let you go with it , maybe you could just ask " What do you think about a matching top to go with the bottoms" and see what she has to say about it , maybe emphasize the fact that you like them so much because she bought them for you .

[stephNE]

maybe suggest something alone the lines of wearing panties or something like that and see how she reacts? What do you all think would that work?

I liked Sara's idea. One day, pick up a pair of her panties, tell her how you think they would feel much better that yours, and ask her if you can try them on. It might be a great start.

[kimdl93]

its not a sign in and of itself of anything other than what it is. A wife who is happy to provide you with comfy jammie bottoms. Don't attempt to read more into it.

Before we get off on another endless debate about whether or not to tell your wife, my question is "Do you want to tell your wife that you are a cross dresser?" Think about that question very seriously. After you've weighed out the pros and cons of telling her, and if you decide its something you want to do, then you need to think about how to tell her. There are a number of good resources here for that very thing.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Brooke, I suspect that your wife is probably as young as you are,
She may not have as many negative thoughts about crossdressing
But be prepared for what may happen.

[Lorileah]

Tell her you like her 4" heels and see if she buys some for you

[Leeza]

followed with "are you gay?"

That is the the first thing my wife asked me.

[Brooke H]

Thanks again for all the responses, it's nice to have someone to talk to about all of this. I always hope that something will come up about guys crossdressing just so I can ask her what she would think if I did it. I am to scared to open up this side of my life to her.