Just deny it...you don't have to accept anything negative even if it happened... otherwise, you let someone borrow your computer and they posted it as a joke or you did it as a joke to see how many people actually would notice.
Just deny it...you don't have to accept anything negative even if it happened... otherwise, you let someone borrow your computer and they posted it as a joke or you did it as a joke to see how many people actually would notice.
Chickie
Why am I thinking you are trying to get yourself outed? This careless mistake happened not long after you found yourself running about town wearing makeup in guy mode.
You protest about family, about the intolerance of others, but you keep getting closer and closer to facing a full reveal...something which you seem to believe is a very unpleasant prospect.
Since this reveal appears to be inevitable, you might as well dispense with the excuses and made up stores and be prepared to own it. Either that, or find it in yourself to be more careful to protect yourself from accidental (?) discovery.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
I have to go along with Sara on this. Honestly, Alice, it's time for you to seriously consider what changes you need to make in your life...emphasis on need. If you feel surrounded and confined by abusive and intolerant people, find a way to distance yourself from them. Beware. If you need to come out, find a more supportive circumstance... don't expect these people, whose attitudes you know so well, to change when they know the truth.
O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
Thankfully, damaged control, like on Voyage to the bottom of the Sea, seems to have worked.
Yes, I would like to move away, but can't , unless i win the lottery, or am given a few grand by an kind donor. I have helped many down and outers over the years. Well, a kind man bought me gasoline last week, when i ran out! What gore around comes around. I may quit crossdressing soon, too. There are things to come, which will take all energies and resourcefulness, and cding is a luxury .
Last edited by Tamara Croft; 12-26-2013 at 12:19 PM. Reason: multiposting isn't allowed posts merged read the rules please
OMG, I'm close to your age. I hope my senior moments don't slip up as bad as this! lol And trust me i have had a few! :P
I left some picture of me on my cell phone in the photo scroll, though I had deleted all of them , my granddaughter ask me if she could see my phone, She ask is this your sister, I do look like my sister when I dress, I handle it badly said no and delete all the pictures. She give me a smile she knew it was me, but nothing was said then or since.
I'm sorry this happened to you, you sound like you are really worried and upset by all this. To me however its just another reason on the list I reasons I have for not participating in any of these so called social media outlets. Every day I read where some celebrity or politician or someone did something on one of these sites that has gotten them into trouble. On top of that look how many times these sites have been hacked and private information has been taken.
I keep all my regular guy pics seperate from what few Sarah pics I have.
"It takes all kinds of kinds" Miranda Lambert
Now some point a finger and let ignorance linger
If they'd look in the mirror they'd find.
That ever since the beginning to keep the world spinning
It takes all kinds of kinds.
Yes, I think because of loneliness and isolation, there is a part of me, that really wants to be caught, and outed, subconsciously. Thankfully, i have told several people in the church, and they accept me, but say i need to quit cding sometime. My life would be far simpler without it, it would be far easier to have a GF, i would spend less money, and may be happier, though, the urge would never totally leave in this life. In a nursing home, i sure would have quit! I believe humans can do just about anything, if they set goals, and work, and let go, and really believe change is possible. Look at Johnny Cash. Quit narcotics, got help. I am sick of being an isolated loner, with no girlfriend. Kim is right. I do need to make changes now. Being an isolated loner, mainly because of dressing, is not healthy . If it takes quitting, and becaoming a social , balanced human being, i will give it up. I have waited 59 years for a GF. Dressing is hurting me chances, with the little time i have left. I would rather have a real life nice lady, than the fake in the mirror. Just sharing.
Narcotics addiction is a chemical dependence while many researchers now believe that cross dressing is due to something in our physical makeup possible due to something that occurred prior to our birth. Regardless of what causes cross dressing, giving up cross dressing is not the same thing as getting clean after being addicted to drugs. Doctors have drugs and treatments to help break drug addiction, but medical science doesn’t have anything to help stop cross dressing. The people in your church that say you should stop cross dressing may mean well but they are totally ignorant about cross dressing.
After more than forty-years of cross dressing I believe you may find that quitting is going to be extremely difficult if not impossible. Over the years there are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of threads here attesting to how difficult it is to quit. People have resolved to quit (purge) and thrown out everything, but the urge to dress returns, sometimes in only a few weeks or months, sometimes years later – for me it was years. When that urge returns it often returns with a vengeance and denying the urge can have some serious consequences such as depression, and depression can become life threatening.
Based on your posts and the pictures you have posted cross dressing has been and is a major part of your life. Reading your recent posts it sounds like you may now be suffering from depression and any attempt to quit might lead to even a deeper state of depression. If you stop cross dressing today what other changes are you going to make so that you are not an isolated loner, what are your plans for getting out and meeting people and making friends? You generally need some common interest to make friends. What other interests do you have that lend themselves to social relationships? Many hobbies and sports are good ways to meet people; golf is played with other people, there are clubs for people interested in photography, model railroading, etc. How often do you dress, every day? If not there is nothing stopping you from going out and meeting people on those days that you don’t dress, or is the urge to dress so strong that you’d rather stay home as Alice rather than break the isolation and get out, meet people, and maybe make some friends?
I don’t have any idea what your financial status is or what your health insurance covers, but you might want to consider some counseling or therapy.
Babs
I really don't understand why your Cding and social life has to be an all or nothing proposition? If you're just a CD, then odds are you're not dressed 24/7 anyway. I am just not of the belief that being a CD HAS to lead to isolation and loneliness. There's nothing stopping you, as far as I know, from joining a group (NON CD group) of some sort in your area and making some friends that way. Likewise you could take some classes in a community college and make friends like that. You could go to a nightclub to hear some music and meet others with your musical tastes. If you fish you could take yourself to some public fishing hole and odds are you will meet others there doing the same thing. Strike up a conversation. There's a host of things you could do. Why does CDing have to permeate all aspects of your life? Why can't it be a separate but still important part? I guess my assessment would be different if you were a transsexual, but it doesn't sound like it is that way.
It just seems to me that there is something else going on here and that blaming the CDing for all of your life's problems is just an easy excuse. I may be wrong. I just can contemplate CDing being the cause of all life's ills. As far as getting a GF, I agree that AFTER SOME TIME you should, indeed, tell her about your CDing. But, if you're meeting women and your opening line to them is that, "I'm a CD. Would you like to go out with me?", I would say that is a very bad approach.
Maybe I'm missing something else in your story. Please correct me if I am.
December can be an extremely weird time. I don't know if the devil is mad it's Jesus birthday or what but something weird, usually negative will occur to me without fail. I had a chance to go out last weekend but opted not to for this very reason. I have often thought if I'm ever outed it will be inadvertently done by something like this in cyber space. Hit the wrong button, someone hacking into my photos and sending them out, etc.
Hang in there.
By acting so desperate to dissociate yourself from this, you actually make it more obvious. I sometimes wonder if people on a sub conscious level out themselves.... but, in an event where you find yourself in this situation, I would have just rolled with it, put up a funny kind of thing..... ain't I a doll or something. Maybe even leave it up for a day or two.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
Unfortunately, Alice, you are very unlikely to manage to quit CDing. Your main problems are:Originally Posted by Alice Torn
1. You don't accept this about yourself, so you flagellate yourself emotionally over something you literally can't change.
2. You live in a narrow-minded hick town full of hateful people who don't understand this stuff.
I apologize for the bluntness of those statements - I say them with love.
There is no "treatment" of this in the same sense that there is treatment for narcotics. The treatment for CDing is acceptance of this part of yourself.
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