The need to socialize in femme?

[Valarie]

I have the urge to go out, but the area we live in is very traditional Hispanic and machismo so I have to be cautious of where I go out. Right now I enjoy just being at home en femme with my wife, so I got to be happy with what I got

[PretzelGirl]

There are two parts of it to me. First is, that outside of work, I am Sue most of the time. So if I didn't socialize as Sue, then I would be pretty lonely. Second is that most of my friends are Sue's friends. The others know both sides. So it is a natural. Mostly for me then, it isn't about self affirmation as it really is about spending time with friends.

[Cheryl T]

As someone else said, I don't socialize much as a male, but as a female ... well that's another story altogether.
At first I just wanted to go out to be out, to be out of the closet and out of the house. That shortly became a desire to meet others who felt as I do and talk to them sharing experiences and feelings. Of course once I had done that it evolved into just wanting to be a part of the world as a whole and that includes interacting with others.
It's fun to socialize and be part of "what's happening".

[Lorileah]

Considering that what CDs do, and that it is really no different than what GGs do (with exception of those who dress for sexual purposes only) why wouldn't you go out? The more the TG community stigmatizes itself, the slower that acceptance will come. You don't have to go out and be flamboyant, but you should be able to, if you want, to do your daily life tasks. You are who you are. No one should tell you you can't be

[Heather-Barbie]

I have rarely been out as I'm mostly an introvert and feel nervous being out even as my 'guy' self. My wonderful SO is encouraging me to go out and she is willing to be with me. I'm slowly working up the courage. I know she wants to help me accept myself (something I still struggle with) and help me get more out of my shell. Everyone is different and how they live with their CD self is unique to each one. I think as I get over my fears, I will find being out as either my guy or girl mode will be rewarding. I think for most, being out will help themselves in many ways.

[Lynn Marie]

I'm quite happy spending time alone, but after a while I get tired of it and need some people around. Then I get tired of people and enjoy a little solitude again. It seems to be another of those things that need to be kept in balance.

[Sophie Yang]

Briana,

Happy New Year!

In general, women are more sociable than men. I think that evolution and the human condition has a socialization component built into us. It just manifests itself in different ways. For us, the dressing may or may not trigger it. I suspect, that even the most introverted of us would not look forward to an extended period of solitary confinement.

We that venture out into the world, do it not to be exposed. That is a possible consequence. Some of do it because it we find it both a challenge and an adventure, at least initially. We continue to do it to learn something about our selves and those around us. We do not want to be the chained prisoners in Plato's Allegory of the Cave. We want to experience the world like the prisoner who ventured out into the real world.

[MayaMe]

I am someone who has not really gone out to socialize. Having to hide part of yourself does a number on ones self-confidence, but since I have told a friend about me I have seamed to have gained some. The urge to just be me has grown and with is the want to go out some and to make new friends and just be me.

So as your accept who are you begin to want to just be you and live your life and that includes when you leave the house.

[Genny B]

Wow! Interesting answers. For me, part of the desire was to wear fem cloths such as a dress, but I wanted to wear it outside from day one. Not to interact with others or be social, But to enjoy the feel of the dress flowing around me as I take a walk in the woods and enjoy nature. Guess I'm different on this one...
Genny B

[heatherdress]

I get dressed, feel good, look good - and want to go out and have fun. I go out for my own pleasure, a sense of excitement, a feeling of fulfillment. I am not making a statement or trying to change the world. I enjoy the feelings of happiness and maybe freedom. I am still me - but I feel different, enjoyably different. If I can socialize with others with acceptance, or be out and about fully dressed, it is more fun than being dressed alone.

[natcrys]

I love being around people regardless how I'm dressed, so I will always enjoy getting together in a bar, restaurant or at my (or other people's homes).

Having said that, when I first started dressing at age 19, I also wanted to get out of my student-house to walk outside.. mainly for the thrill, the adrenaline rush and to see whether "I could get away with it".

Now, it's mainly because I want to hang out with friends and do fun stuff.. and of course I want to dress up and be pretty! :P

[robindee36]

In drab I am pretty quiet and introspective. Dressed and in the company of others, it is quite the opposite. Don't know why but it is.

Curiouser and curiouser.

Hugs, Robin

[grace7777]

For me, oututside of work I am increasing the amount of time I am out in public dressed en femme. Before I started CDing I tended to not socialize much outside of work, but it would be nice to meet other cd's/tg's for socializing.

[KristyE]

Maybe not thrill seekers but acceptance seekers. I hope to go out dressed some day and not turn a head, just another person walking thru a mall in a nice skirt.
Love KristyE

[julia marie]

After getting through the original look at the "girl me" in the mirror stage and working on my appearance, the first step was to get out and see if I could walk through a mall without causing a ruckus. Hey, I could! Now, it's more about interacting with people (smiles, "Happy New Year", "Have a great day" and the big one, "Do you have these sandals in a 10?"), and ordering a meal or a drink. Good progress there. Next step is to deal with other women on a more social basis in clubs, and maybe some volunteer work. It's tough to pin down. Some of it is acceptance, some is a bit of rebellion against the stereotypes, and some is about getting closer to a world of womanhood where I've always had close friends but still with the shadow of being the guy in the girls' world. Maybe the end game is that I can be an even better friend with them.

[MascStilettoBoy]

I haven't gone out dressed, but even at home, I feel so much less inhibited and more open and interesting when I dress up. It would be great to find a CD meet up where I could really express that side of myself

[AllieSF]

I am a social person I like people....no matter what I am wearing...both sides of me are going to want to go out and interact with people. Being so close to NYC has also helped besides being the social mecca that it is,...our lifestyles are alot more accepting there

This is me. I knew from the first time that I totally dressed that I wanted to take my show on the road. I do not look for validation, though being out and interacting with others does that does happen. I do it for the social and fun aspects of it all.

[lingerieLiz]

I like socializing with women. Love to go shopping and lunch with them and talking about clothes. Not a big nightclub or bar person. Dinner with friends is nice.

[Alice B]

With out question it is for me. I like meeting and talking to new people and going out dressed open the door a lot. Love it.

[LaraPeterson]

Briana, we are all social creatures, it's just hard for many of us to figure out to do it, whether we're dressed in male or female attire. For a lot of us here, it appears we started out for the thrill or to prove we could do it. For me, I was scared as h*** the first few times I ventured out. Now, many years later, going out en femme is quite natural. It's still a thrill, though.

[suchacutie]

I'm an only child and my drab self is very talented at amusing himself in complete isolation. My wife has suggested that dressing droughts could be eased by getting a hotel room for the day, and likewise Tina has been brought along on business trips for after-work in-room dressing. Neither of those solo dressing arrangements us anywhere close as satisfying as a girl's night with my wife, no matter how"ordinary"those nights. I can't explain it logically, but I've experienced that difference on numerous occasions.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I go out quite a bit, but usually to one or another CD social group, often in a public place. To me it's a kind of affirmation.

But to take a different look at it, would you prefer to drink alone or with a group? It would seem that there is a stigma about drinking alone.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm one who can never be mistaken for a female. So, going out in vanilla land for mundane tasks like shopping r stressful and pointless to me.

On the other hand? Going out with the girls for dinner, drinks, and dancing? PRICELESS!

[KaceyR]

I've already thought that I'd be getting out sometime with Kacey...and maybe sooner than later.
(I've technically got 3/4 of this month off with vacation days-starting in 2 hours so time to Kacey it up )
I've kind of pushed thru some of these stages of CDing quickly (although that's primarily due to limited family/friends and no SO,etc so it's been easier to do).
Can't say what percentages though are the reasons though.
Mainly as I'd like to think Kacey's a bit of an alter-ego.. while I'm a bit introverted I keep feeling a bit more outgoing when she's out. (well as much as I can tell solo in the apartment currently). For me half is the loving the clothes+femininity,and the other is bit of trying to be what I've not been able to be originally. I know nothing probably would be a "full" turnaround from my usual silent self in public, but hoped Kacey'd bring a bit more out of me that I could maybe use to help both sides of the equation.

But to take a different look at it, would you prefer to drink alone or with a group? It would seem that there is a stigma about drinking alone.

I think it'd have to be with a group. In my thought, being out just drinking solo is counter-productive from what I'd like to do/be. Plus when I do that..I just get moody and it's not the best. I'd have no problems if there were additional factors (drinking a bit but while out for a dinner,etc) but to just go to a bar/club and start chugging...nah. Also if actually drinking alcohols, When grouped, there's more time talking,discussions,etc. Slows down the imbibing rate a bit. And may need all the stability I can get when in heels

[felix.samora]

I've only go out once in femme with other woman and crossdressers for karaoke. Make sure you look nice and comfortable.

Surprisingly, not many people cared we were all man dress up as woman.

I am looking forward to try shopping when I feel ready to go out for my second time.