Going in Public - Selective Attention - and CDing

[Secret Drawer]

I had taken that "test" a long time ago, and still remain astonished at how many people apparently don't notice what is going on. (It was painfully obvious to me) I think we assume that what we notice as individuals is what everyone else notices. I think acting totally normal while dressed in public is the best way to simply not draw too much attention. A great film with this theme is Le Samuri, it helps to change how we think about the chaos of being noticed, and especially remembered later on!

[Bria]

Isha, what you have said about only noticing somethig out of the ordinary as we go about our daily business, validates something I said in a reply to one of your early post about going out in public. What I said at the time was that if you go about YOUR business with confidence, without watching others to see if you are clocked or even noticed, then you won't be clocked. If you don't do anything out of the ordinary to wake up the potential observer you will go unnoticed.

BTW, great post, you have made us think again!!

Hugs Bria

[Fortuneta]

Isha...
WOW! Great film...I watched a bunch of them. Sure helps those of us who worry...alot...about this subject. Thanks and great job as usual.
Fortuneta

[Marcelle]

Hi everyone,

Thanks much for all your great comments and insights. I am glad some of you took the test and discovered that we really do miss things. Does this mean you won't get "clocked/read" by those in the vanilla world, absolutely not. What I did want to demonstrate is that it is not as often as you might think.

I was out today with a GG friend of mine shopping (didn't find anything )) Now we came into contact with lots of people during the day and I can count on my hand the number of folks who legitimately did the old "guy in a dress" double take (not to say others did not read me). However for the most part, nobody paid us much attention and processed what they thought . . . two girls out shopping.

Hugs

Isha

[rachael.davis]

Hi Isha

"All warfair is based upon deception"

One of my favorite sensei (way way way back when, it's a long story) said Europeans say I'll believe it when I see it, after a while you will begin to understand that you will see it when you believe it. If you're confident and walking to a shop people will see a woman walking to a shop, if you're perfectly done up but nervous people will see a frightened man in a skirt. doesn't work all the time, but frequently enough for me

[Tracii G]

The hiding in plain sight analogy pretty much sums it up.
I was trained to scan the area take mental notes of everything and formulate an exit strategy if needed. I still do that if I am in a crowded place no need for it now but I still do it.
I always watch what or who is in my general area.I can't break that habit its just second nature.
But I can say from what I have experienced going out enfemme if you blend well 90% of the people around you won't be paying any attention to you.
Hence the hiding in plain sight analogy is spot on.

@ Elle your statement saying if you went out once why would you want to do it again?
I really don't get that approach at all and makes me think you had a bad experience your first time.
There have been a few closet dressers here that swore they had no need to leave their homes dressed but yet now they are going out enfemme all the time.
My suggestion is to ask those people for your answer.

[Isabella77]

Sounds great...except I'm 6"1' in regular shoes. In heels I'm like 6"3' and up. Kinda hard to blend in as a girl like that. Could blend in at the gay bar great but I've been to many of the gay bars in my area as a male. Sometime I think I want to try going out of town to a nice bar to see what happens. Definitely way to shy to even try it out in regular public.

[Ellie52]

@ Elle your statement saying if you went out once why would you want to do it again?
I really don't get that approach at all and makes me think you had a bad experience your first time.
There have been a few closet dressers here that swore they had no need to leave their homes dressed but yet now they are going out enfemme all the time.
My suggestion is to ask those people for your answer.

Tracii, I have been out a few times and never had any adverse reactions at all. I think sometimes I am a weird crossdresser as I get bored with the dressing after about 2 hours. My mind set changes and I feel silly and very self conscious. When I was out it was Ok but I just couldn't see what I was trying to prove. I wasn't scared of being outed as I interacted with several people who thought I was actually a woman. I am lucky in the fact I am only 5'8 and very skinny, and my voice is passable. I have small hands and dont have much facial or body hair. My wife says I make a very nice woman.
I am having a dress up night tonight and I know that after 2-3 hours Ill be bored and into the shower to wash it all off again. I know you'll think if I went out and joined other CD's I would enjoy myself, but let me tell you, that's something I would never do. I find the thought very disturbing, like some of the posts on this forum talking about picking up men when dressed en femme. I find that quite disturbing. I know in the eyes of this forum we are all the same, but I treat dressing up as a hobby or fancy dress and don't take it seriously at all. I hope I don't offend anybody. I may one day venture outside again if I can find a reason to do it but it wont be just because people think I should....Ellie

[Tracii G]

I too find some of the activities disturbing but we are all different.
If its just a hobby with you thats fine by me.I enjoy interacting with other CDers and we have a great time.
To each his/her own I guess. I respect your views and you post some great threads.

[Wildaboutheels]

NGC's Brain Games has clearly illustrated your point in numerous episodes, not to mention "solving" many other CDing "related" issues. One being how our brains [on a daily basis] will perform all manners of "behavior adjustment" in an effort to protect us from ourselves.

It should be required watching for all CDers.

[sonialexis]

wow this is so interesting. i've been keeping my legs shaved i wear pantyhose with shorts, keep my nails long with clear polish, pink, red for the toes (if i'm wearing pantyhose otherwise clear with flip flops) i wear a light eyeliner. haven't had the guts to go out dressed but all this while i did this i would eye every body i crossed or met just to see if they would look towards my feet or hands or notice my eyes. so far nothing, i on the other hand notice if a woman is wearing tights, stockings, pantyhose, sheer, opaque etc. i notice their nailpolish, their makeup, their clothes lace, satin, lycra etc.
i do notice every feminine men that i pass, i notice and love it when i see a feminine woman absolutely soaked in femininity. wow i once read 1 in every 10 men like to dress up so do i get those unnoticed curious stares at my stockinged feet nail polish peeking out?