I initially figured I would never actually dress, so I did not disclose to my current wife at the time when we were getting engaged and she point blank asked me if there is anything she needed to know before we got married. I chose not to tell her of my desires. But, over time, I knew that I would have to tell her. As for keeping it secret to everyone else, that is the product of building a life without actual crossdressing, (always had the desire) and now I have two teenage boys, a long term job, friends and family..... to reveal to all would constitute a 9.0 on the Richter scale with a resulting tsunami the likes that happened to Japan a little while back. I have to deal with the fact that I did not deal with myself for so many years and built a life the way I did. It has been hard enough for my wife to absorb this aspect of myself. It would be way too much to have friends and family to deal with, for her moreso than me. Many would likely attempt to persuade her to leave me. The awkwardness the would come her way and mine. my kids do not need the harrasment that would come, my mother is becoming elderly and not in good health, no reason to give her such a shock so late in life.
Fear, sure I suppose you can call it that. I also feel it is that I have many responsibilities to my wife and kids, and the security I have built in with the job I have held for many years. Some would accept and be ok with it all. maybe some I would not even expect. And some I might suspect that would, wouldn't. But there are many that I know who would not do well at all with it. And I can live life the way I am living it now. Perfect, no, better than it was before, yes.
