Hi Victoria,
For some reason I always seem to be the "odd girl out" when it comes to thinking but I have some advice and insite that may help. You say that it's like there are two different personalities, that's normal men feel like they have to be men, and some men CD because they can't express that fem side of themself. SO my advice, let him know that it's ok to be feminine as a man. That expressing those feelings is natural and healthy and that you have no objections. It seems that you like that fem side just encourage him to be open with his feelings.
This can be accomplished by half dressing. Let him wear a girl shirt or bra around the house. It's a subconscious reminder and a symbolic way of letting what's inside out. I think that over time the two personalities will find balance.
As far as the sex thing is concerned. It's very natural. It's a phase that most, if not all, of us have gone threw, like being a rebelious teen, or terrible twos. For now just enjoy it.
