Michelle
The degree of acceptance you have from your wife compared to what I and many others on this forum have (read 'zero') makes it difficult to empathise. Be appreciative of what you have.
It has taken quite some time and tears for my wife and I to get to a position where she knows that I dress but can live within a DADT arrangement. Frankly it works very well - no emotional roller coaster, no limitations on me other than self imposed, no trying to tread on egg shells.
It did take me quite some time to get over the feeling that my wife doesn't truly love me and doesn't accept me for who I am. I worked out that she did truly love me completely to work within a DADT yet really knowing that I dress - something that is abhorrent to her.
Don't blame your wife for how she feels.
Michelle
