I fail at being a [insert birth gender here] because...

[Andy66]

Lol! What a fun thread, Len! Good job.

I fail at being a girl because I feel very uncomfortable in dresses or anything cutesy.
...I like makeup, but it comes out looking more like a goth guy than a woman.
...Cant stand talking on the phone any longer than I have to.
...Hate it when guys try to do things for me, if its something I can do myself.
...Really like mens cologne.
...Im probably doing laundry wrong, but dont really care. Seems fine to me. Lol.

[LittleMissJoanna]

I fail at being a man because:
- I can't drive
- I listen to Taylor Swift
- I watch Grey's Anatomy
- I cried when I watched Titanic
- I can spend an entire day shopping
- I own more skirts than men's underwear
- I spend more money on high heels than gambling
- I have never been in a fight

[renees]

I think I fail at both genders at times:

I fail at being a girl because:
- I don't like to talk on the phone endlessly. I'm the person sitting going, ' uh-huh, uh-huh' while the other person prattles on
- I don't really like shopping unless it's for something specific. Really, whats the point of going if you're not going to buy anything?
- I don't cry easily
- I don't like to cook. I do it because I have to, not because I want to
- I have no patience for my children
- when I see a pretty girl I'm usually not evaluating her looks or being jealous. It's more like, 'wow, I'd like to get in her pants'
- I like fishing, hockey and shooting

But I think I would fail as a boy because:

- when it comes to fixing something or yardwork I look to my SO and say, 'oh honey, can you do it? You can do it so much better'
- if I need help with any heavy lifting while at the home improvement store, I'll find a guy, smile and ask for their help
- I defer to my SO when making decisions and I'm never in charge of the remote
- I can't play sports
- I don't want a penis
- when I see a good looking guy I'm usually not evaluating him, I'm thinking about how hot he is

[CrossJess]

I fail at being a boy because I cook better then 90% of the woman I know, they ask me for recipes.

Haha I'm with you on that one

[renees]

But can I also add that I love it that my SO wants to stay home and take care of the cooking, cleaning and the kids while I go to work? But at the same time when I go to work I like to wear tight, rather low cut dresses so the guys at work will sometimes have a hard time staying focused on my face when they're talking to me.

[JenniferYager]

Is it failing at being a man/woman or simply not living up to society's expectations?

I remember when I told a male coworker that I did the grocery shopping (it was easier for me to do it on the way home from work than my wife with 2 kids). He looked back horrified, like somehow I had turned in my man card. Then again, he was single and could barely cook for himself.

Who's to say I can't enjoy going clothes shopping with my wife, while also enjoying hunting with my dog?

[Dianne S]

OK, this is really just stereotypes, but here goes...
I fail at being a man because:
- I don't care about sports. (Actually, I fail at being a Canadian because I hate hockey... )
- I don't care about cars.
- I don't care about beer, and I don't find stories about how drunk someone got last weekend entertaining.
- I can't do household repairs to save my life.
- I hate action movies.
- I find women much more interesting than men. At social gatherings where the sexes separate for whatever reason, I prefer to talk to women.

[Andy66]

Okay, I admit it, I fail at being a girl, but there are also ways I fail at being a boy...
...I almost never drink beer. I usually prefer something sweeter.
...I dont care for football, but I looove cheese shaped hats. lol!
...Im not good at confrontations.
...And two words, Big Butt.

[Persephone]

I fail at being a girl because...my guy friends ask me to go beat up other guys for them

Oh Len! I so would have loved to have you as a friend, particularly back in high school!

And I always make a cake to bring to the Superbowl party. This year it was shaped and frosted like a football. Er, I think it was shaped like a football. That's the game they play in the Superbowl, isn't it?

Hugs,
Persephone.

[JohnH]

I fail as a boy in the following ways:
1. I cannot stand to watch sports.
2. I do the shopping, dishes, and cooking
3. I notice when I do laundry all the dresses that I wash are mine - my wife does not wear dresses or skirts.
4. My hair is MUCH longer than my wife's
5. I watch my weight a lot more carefully than my wife.

Now there is something I do well as a male - I sing second bass in the church choir.

Johanna Anna

[Michelle789]

I fail at being a guy because
1. I am too oversensitive compared to most men
2. I'd rather talk or cuddle than have sex
3. I like being chased rather than doing the chasing
4. I am not macho and I am very soft and gentle
5. I am better at cooking than at doing repairs
6. I prefer girly drinks
7. When I look at a pretty girl, I'm not thinking how I'd like to get into her pants, but I'm thinking how I'd wish I could be her, or I'm getting ideas on what to wear
8. I like to talk endlessly for hours about how I'm feeling, or about anything under the sun
9. Maybe, I fail at being a guy, because I really am not a guy

I spoke with my therapist about failing as a guy, and she told me that it is common for MTF TS to fail at being guys, which is different from male identified men who fail at being men, which according to her is actually rare - less than 1% of all gender dysphoric cases are failed men and they typically have weaker female identities (in fact weaker than most cross-dressers do)

[JohnH]

Alright,

I do fail at my choosing to be like a genetic woman:
1. I like beer that is hoppy and strong. My wife has tasted the stuff I drink and says it tastes like weasel p!ss.
2. Fruit juices simply do not belong in my alcoholic beverages. My ideal drink with hard liquor is whiskey on the rocks or diluted with water.

But I do agree with Michelle " Michelle789" in the following ways that I fail at being a guy:

1. I am too oversensitive compared to most men
2. I'd rather talk or cuddle than have sex
3. I like being chased rather than doing the chasing
4. I am not macho and I am very soft and gentle
5. When I look at a pretty girl, I'm not thinking how I'd like to get into her pants, but I'm thinking how I'd wish I could be her, or I'm getting ideas on what to wear
6. I like to talk endlessly for hours about how I'm feeling, or about anything under the sun
7. Maybe, I fail at being a guy, because I really am not a guy

I watch Investigative Discovery and see all the attacks on women. Perish the thought anybody would mean harm on a woman! Women are God's gift to men, and I admire them so much that I seek to become as much like a genetic woman as I can within my limits - e.g., I have no desire to have SRS nor alter the way I talk or sing.

Johanna Anna

[mechamoose]

- I don't get sports.. baseball/football/hockey mean nothing to me.. I'm completely left out of the 'office talk' on this.

- I did ballet for years.

- I like being pretty (and so does my wife)

- I understand the importance of drapes.

- I *love* being given flowers.

[Christina Sevilla]

I fail being a guy since i'm alway thinking about being a girl.....lol . During my school days i always hated it when we were made to play basketball. Looking over the girls playing volleyball i always wished i was with them. There are a few sports that i like and engage in such as scuba diving and started skiing and snowboarding just this winter.

[Andy66]

You may think you fail at one gender or another, but you all seem pretty super as human beings.

[geek]

I fail at being a guy because...

... I don't know squat about cars (I'm far from mechanichly inclined)
... my ex would occasionally complain "god you're such a girl"
... I'm usually the one asked about color coordinating stuff
... I answer to "excuse me, miss..." with out batting an eye
... I get ma'amd at least once a day while in "guy mode"

[Karen_Ski]

I fail at being a male, the gender I was born into, because:

1. I really don't like sports except golf

2. I enjoy snuggling up with a good book and a cup of tea on a cold evening

3. I am not big or strong

4. I like to shop

5. I don't know how to spit


I fail at being a female, the gender I have chosen to live my life as because:

1. I like sports cars

2. I can handle a stick shift wearing heels

3. I can parallel park

4. I am mechanical inclined

5. I still have trouble color coordinating my wardrobe

[Charlotte Williams]

Well said Jennifer...

Is it failing at being a man/woman or simply not living up to society's expectations?

I remember when I told a male coworker that I did the grocery shopping (it was easier for me to do it on the way home from work than my wife with 2 kids). He looked back horrified, like somehow I had turned in my man card. Then again, he was single and could barely cook for himself.

Who's to say I can't enjoy going clothes shopping with my wife, while also enjoying hunting with my dog?

No one is failing at any gender, just the stereotypes that society perpetuates at any given time in any given place. At one point it was acceptable for a European aristocracy to wear heels. And true Scotsmen aren't afraid to wear a skirt to this day (sure they call it a kilt, but come on).

That being said, I have always felt out of place with what society perpetuates.

[TessaGirl]

Well said Jennifer...



No one is failing at any gender, just the stereotypes that society perpetuates at any given time in any given place. At one point it was acceptable for a European aristocracy to wear heels. And true Scotsmen aren't afraid to wear a skirt to this day (sure they call it a kilt, but come on).

That being said, I have always felt out of place with what society perpetuates.

Yes the stereotypes are depressing. On a recent visit to a local shop, two girls said something about (I think) my slightly feminine shorts,
annoying. As mentioned in another thread, I once wore a (male) kilt as part of uniform (not every day), at a Scottish school. I also feel very out of place with society in that way.

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[KellyJameson]

Cute thread so I will play.

I failed at being a "boy" because....

For me it was always about the penis problem and the guy/girl problem.

When you are told you are a boy but everyone you meet that seems like you is a girl and everyone you meet who does not seem like you is a boy, thats a problem.

And than there is the whole relationship men have with their penis. I'm still mystified yet strangely fascinated by how the penis is a love object and symbol of power for men. I have known men that named their penis and treated it like a favored pet.

I don't have one and I don't miss it in the least. It never felt right so it was not so much hate but feeling like something foreign was stuck on me.

Trying to be sexual with the wrong equipment is psychologically very stressful so good luck trying to have a successful sexual, so intimate, relationship with anyone.

It was never about the gender roles because I'm largely gender blind to that stuff.

It was not being able to connect with other people from being a foreigner in my own body that was killing me.

[GailNightshade]

I fail at being a man because...
I don't care about sports.
I don't care whats under the hood of a car.
I know my way around the kitchen.
I know my way around a sewing machine.
I cry every time i watch a sappy movie.

I fail at being a woman because...
I am a hunter.
I am a fisherman.
I can fix almost anything.
I am more comfortable living primitive than with technology.
I cannot for the life of me paint my nails very well left handed.

[Ashley Wray]

OMG I'm just like like Gail on that to a TEE

[6inchheels]

I love this thread.
I fail at being a guy because:
- I love to wear dresses and heels
- I completely glaze over when the office crew starts talking about basketball players like they're romantically involved.
- I love to clean my kitchen (while wearing heels and a dress of course)
- I can't fu@$ing stand working on cars
- I'm not interested in playing golf (this one might be specific to profession but the people around here seem to think it's better than sex. Personally I'd rather have the sex, or maybe just do some gardening.)
- I wear my wife's skirts more than she does.

I fail at being a girl because:
- I have 5'o clock shadow at about 10 am
- most of my tattoos are horribly masculine
- I fix the toilets, sinks, drywall, swing set, cars (even though I hate it), floors, fences, and anything else that needs fixing.
- I love cheap beer in cans
- I am happily married but I do check out other women. Half the time I'm thinking how hot they are and the other half I'm thinking that I would love to try on their clothes. Haha, I think that's a fail for both gender stereotypes.

[Rose]

I fail at being a boy because... I can't stand sports.
I fail at being a boy because... I only work out to try to fit into a smaller dress size
I fail at being a boy because... I'd rather get dressed up than watch women strip
I fail at being a boy because... I couldn't wear the pants in a relationship if my life depended on it
I fail at being a boy because... apparently boys don't cry
I fail at being a boy because... I like them too much
I fail at being a boy because... frankly, I have more fun this way