Got me thinking

[Stephanie47]

In my situation my wife and I explored wearing some bedroom play garments; floor length nightgowns, stockings and garter belt. It was strictly bedroom play. It was a treat and not something done all the time. Then, I bought some panties and slips. But, the BRA really turned her totally off. It was then and forever "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." She could not wrap her head around the thought of any man wanting to wear a bra if he has nothing to "pack" into it. We had the "talk" and for the last forty years it has been DADT. She knows I cross dress, but, I know she does not know the extent of it.

And I less of a man? No. The cross dressing just does not fit the man she was attracted to, dated, and married. For our marriage I always worked, supported her and my kids, etc. I do all those manly things she was attracted to. I've also done some manly things none in her family have done. She knows about them, as some of them did impact our marriage on occasion. It's kind of interesting that a woman readily accepts a man who has engaged in mortal combat and has been wounded physically and emotionally,but, rejects the small sliver of him that is not "manly."

[Secret Drawer]

The one thing that nobody really said here is that if a woman wished she had more of a real man for a husband, due to whatever circumstance, then the man they did marry is not who they wanted to begin with. In other words, for both sides of the relationship, we married a person warts and all. No matter the cause of those warts, we accepted them. The notion that somehow not sharing the information in the dating process way back when is somehow a deal breaker 35 years later (or whatever timeframe) is unfathomable. We all married that person because they were special to us... If I did not have this strange gender orientation I would not be the same person at all and my wife would have to have chosen someone else. We cannot change a person without changing their whole persona. If that woman wants a "real man," then she had better be prepared for what that actually implies. My wife does not like that I crossdress and we live with a slightly favorable DADT. My wife also knows that it is me she loves and I her. Whether I be a fisherman, a fire chief, or a person who has genderfluid tendencies, it is all part of the big who of who I am... We have the personalities we have in part because we crossdress (for whatever our reasons are it matters not!) 99% of who we are is on the inside, and that is what our relationships live on in the end.