I think you have a point, Steffi.
Both parties in any romantic relationship hide lots of unpleasant things about themselves early in the relationship, and at least in my experience ... yeah you really don't get to know the person you're married to in full until a few years after, and even then.
I didn't find out about my wife's crippling mountain of debt until bill collectors started hassling the living hell out of me about a year and a half after we were married. I didn't find out my wife was bi-sexual (or at least bi-curious and willing to experiment) until about 4 years in, when I came home from work one night and there was sexy shenanigans with her best friend going on in my living room (actually in that case I'm not complaining ... that was a fun night LOL -- but it was definitely a shock). It wasn't until much later, after we'd had our children that her bi-polar tendencies came to light.
And in some of those cases it wasn't even about "hiding" things from one another, that's just how things unfolded. That's what you sign on for when you get married, especially if you get married young. People are not static objects. The nature of being human is to expand and change. That' why they talk about the "for better or for worse" ...
our thing is a little different though.
About the most harmless thing imaginable, wearing the "wrong" clothes in private, is widely considered to be an abomination in our society. it's insane, but them's the breaks at this point in history I guess.
