confused93, I read your post with great interest, and unless you're leaving out some critical relationship material here, I would not hesitate to give you the same advice that Sex and Relationship Columnist Dan Savage would likely also give in this instance. In other words:

DTMFA: Dump The Mother-F*cker Already (used at the closing of a response in a column to indicate that immediately ending the writer's abusive or worthless relationship is advised).

I don't know if you are familiar with Dan, but his column appears both on-line as well as in many "alternative" weekly newspapers across North America, along with some other parts of the world. He also happens to be gay, and as a result, is well versed in the types of relationship issues that members of the LGBT community often face, many of which are decidedly not "mainstream". He is also very familiar with the TG community, seems to understand what makes us tick, and generally offers both sympathetic and sound advice when one of our own reaches out to him. That said, many "straight" people turn to him for relationship advice as well, and that's not only because he doles out sound, common-sense counsel without pulling any punches, he is also very non-judgemental and has heard/seen pretty much everything at this point.

Dan's column is entitled "Savage Love", and that is not only a play on his name, it also belies the blunt and realistic advice he offers, and which some might rightly characterize as "tough love". That said, in his world, you appear to be what he would likely define as:

GGG: Good, Giving, and Game, which in essence means that in order to have a successful relationship, one should strive to be Good in bed, Giving "equal time and equal pleasure" to one's partner, and Game "for anything—within reason."

You're clearly GGG, but your boyfriend appears to be a narcissistic, screwed-up case of arrested development who needs to do a whole lot of growing up (and would likely benefit from considerable professional help as well) in order to get his head screwed back on straight, and before he can successfully manage a relationship with a partner of either sex. He may be a crossdresser...maybe even a fetishistic one, but that's the least of his problems. His biggest problem is that he is an immature, selfish @sshole who will cause you endless grief over time if you allow him to drag you along on his twisted journey unless he (unlikely) mends his ways.

Hence the Dan Savage advice of DTMFA, and the sooner you distance yourself from this needy individual who sucks the emotional energy right out of you and resolve instead to get on with your life, the better for you in the long run...