Wow... didn't expect this amount of responses. I thank you all for them too. And forgive me if I don't reply in specific to each one of them...

First of all, context: my gf has been aware of my cd'ing since the second month of our now 3 year and 8 months relationship. For the first 3 years though it was a DADT thing... she knew, she didn't like it and she wanted it to be buried from sight. We broke up on march due to a series of problems, my cd'ing among them. We got back together two months later after having a deep talk about it, mainly the CD'ing subject in which I told her that while I didn't need it to be an "in your face" thing whith me dressing up in front of her or have sex while in femme or whatever since I know it just isn't fair for her. I told her I needed some leeway at least to talk about it more freely. Now almost everytime I get some fem clothing article, I will buy something for her too (recently ordered a bra set for her and she knew and asked about mine with no problems). She made it clear though that she didn't want me to get rid of my body hair. The beard is something she and I like though since it makes me look somewhat my age, instead of giving me a 17 year old face, but which I told her I would like to shave sometimes. That part of the conversation fell to the side somehow and it's now a gray area.

So, moving on with the matter, as Tinkerbell said, no excuse will make her actually believe that I somehow *had* to shave. Unless that is, they make me do it at work (I've survived 3 months now with a beard and no problems now though so it will make her suspicious anyway).

I always think that this all might be different if I was more sure about my CD'ing back in the beginning of the relationship and would have brought up the subject in a more possitive way instead of presenting it as some kind of drug addiction or alcohol dependency lol. Guess I'll never know.

So anyway, compromises must be made if we both care about each other, that's for sure, the thing that hits me though is that not even on halloween, a time for fun in which everyone just pushes it can I opt for anything somewhat feminine since that will sure get her "spidey senses tinkling". To be honest though, I didn't even bring up the possibility of doing it this time (since I had a negative from her on another occasion). Can't say I don't understand her or that I am mad at her, that would be really selfish from my part, it just feels like a struggle.

So I do think a conversation is at hand... not sure when, not sure how. Guess time will tell, but I'm not really thinking on moving on with our relationship to a different level before getting the subject clear as a glass of water. I've already read too many stories about it to make that mistake. ]

Oh, and lastly, I wasn't drowning my problems in bourbon, It's just that I love honey flavoured bourbon and two glasses are enough to get me tipsy lol. Thanks for the worries on that matter though!

Thanks again everybody for your views and opinions