Hi Nichole-
I have read of your type of scenario here more than once. You are not alone in your feelings. The kid in a candy store analogy is quite fitting. When we finally give ourselves the freedom to explore sometime we can go a bit nuts and especially when we feel that those around us give us the freedom to explore we can go even more nuts.
Some various advice I could offer:
- Slow, way, way down!
- Stop wearing her clothes. Buy some of your own things.
- Try and find some balance between your male and female sides. This can be hard, especially when we have repressed our fem sides for so long, balance sometimes can feel like we have to go full force fem. But like with most things, overloading one side is not a balance. And trying to do everything at once often means we will just make poor choices.
- Do not relate all of your sexuality with dressing. Your SO has fantasies of sex with a transsexual, that does not mean she is not interested in sex with male and would appreciate having sex with male you most often with an occasional fling with fem you.
- Do not even think of hormones and growing breasts at this point. It is a wonderful fantasy, but the reality of it is not so easy and nice and convenient as it may seem. In fact from what I have read from others, it is a massive undertaking that does a heck of a lot more than simply growing breasts. Number one problem? Lack of function of what you are currently getting so much pleasure out of.
- Just because you now have some freedom of exploration does not mean you need to do it all right now. You have time to figure this out, regardless of your age. Rash decisions bring about poor results.
Best of luck to you sweetie.
Nadine
